Feeling Overwhelmed, Isolated And Low-self Esteem.

Hello all, I am new at this, but here we go. I am 24 with 3 children 5, 3, & 1, and husband. First off my husband & I met at high school in 2002. Yes high school sweethearts, more like bitterhearts now. We were great until 2004 and he became a cheater until 2008. I didn't realize until later. I am not repremending him in anyway but he has a lot of personal self-esteem issues so when I seperate myself from him he looks for the next best things to fill the cracks I suppose. Basically he can't and never will be able to be single and alone do to his seperation problems.

He told me when we turned 18 that he wanted to make me his wife and have a family. My son was born in 2005, daughter in 2007, and 2nd son in 2009 and yes I am done. My husband asked for these very things from me. I kept up my part but he has not. He does not hold down a descent job, will let the kiddos tear up the house and he sits just right in front of them, video games 24/7, he verbally abuses me & has slapped me around at least 5 times, isolates and controls me. I'm to afraid to fight with him, or call the police. I feel like a fool. I have gotten him to stop his drug problems but now it is alcohol. All he worries and thinks about is "substance, substance, substance."

My family and I have moved so far away from other family and friends. My kids & I are stuck in our apartment all day. We are not allowed out unless he goes. Its his car, his money, and his family and he's the man. Yeah right the loser. He doesn't like our neighborhood so the kids and I can't go for a walk, can't check the mail or even take out the trash. But he won't do these either.

I have no girlfriends anymore, too far from family, I'm broke and I feel completely selfish for keeping my children in a broken home right now. I want to work too, and attend college, and be without relying on him, completely away from him. Please give some advice.
bluna86 bluna86
22-25, F
6 Responses Jul 25, 2010

Run!

RUNNNN

For the sake of ur kids run away u still young u dnt wana live this ugly and unhealthy life think abt ur kids

For the sake of ur kids run away u still young u dnt wana live this ugly and unhealthy life think abt ur kids

Hi<br />
I know how you feel,its hard with no monney,and he knows you cant support yourself,but you can! Listen,go to shelter where woman get abused,call and tell them you have no money,and you have children,they will help you.This will make him think that you can do things on your own.He thinks you are stuck!Also hes making you feel like its the end of the world! You say you have low self esteem?Its not you that has it its him and because of his insecurities hes taking it out on you.Also cheating on you.I would have left him the first time he cheated!Hell never stop hun! Get out of there,it will get worse!

honestly most states have great shelters for abused women. i would say your best bet is get in contact with one of them and get out. many have counselers to help with thigs like kids and getting a job to get you on your feet. but if you want your life to improve or better yet if you want your childrens lifes to improve you need to get out asap.