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23 Years of Hell

I don't know why I have stayed married to this guy for so long, I guess you could say it is a marriage of convenience.  He has never been a good father to our two daughters, always his work came first.  I have felt like a single parent forever.  But God forbid I spend too much money on the girls or indulge them too much I never hear the end of it!!  We used to at least have a good sex life, but lately that has not even been acceptable. It takes him over an hour to, you know, finish the act!  If he only knew what a **** head he really was.....But then he would never admit that any problems were due to him!  I'm sick of it all!!
babs45 babs45 46-50, F 19 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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I used to have sex for a loooong time. The problem was I stressed myself too much.

Omg! I have the same exact issue. I know how much it sucks. If u ever wanna talk. I'm here.

I completely relate to you!!!!

Wow!!! it sounds like you are telling my story except it was only 18 years for me. Your husband is a narcissist. Run and get away now!!! I am sorry you have gone through this.

If he is so busy with work, then why not suggest to him to dedicate some time to spend with the family? Tuesdays after work is family time, nothing is more important to that.

Also, do you guys have a budget? If not, you need one. Sounds like there is a disconnect in money problems. Sounds like he thinks you spend more than you need to on stuff for the kids.

Sex lasts for an hour? What is wrong with that?

Do you talk to your husband the way you just posted on here?

When was the last time you guys spent time together face to face (no distractions)
When was the last time you guys spent time together doing something side by side?

Omg I feel like I'm reading my own life in your story only difference I have a daughter and son

20 years of hell for me. I am out and trying to get divorced but his goal is to destroy me in all aspects. Given the choice between this and being back with him....i choose this. Nothing worse than f***ing someone who sickens you.

Dang.. can u tell us what happened?

add me please thank you

why dont you make your own world ,,with your type of friends who can understand you better..and forgive your husband ..because it will help you to be a nice person by heart...remember your duties to your daughters...and be proud to fell single parenting...even if people do not consider it,,as you stay with your husband...does n't matter to show off...love your self..join any course...where you have interest in...love your self...respect your self that you ARE so strong..nothing could ruin your spirit.take care..bye.

you re lucky to have had agood sex life, i ve had sex 6 times in the last ten years. and he makes me feel its my fault. I had a good job it was my fault because I was too succesful, so I gave up my job, got a partime no brain jjob that,still my fault. Went out tonight his birthday family made a big effort when we came home he said ' don t know why they do so much for me.
everone makes an effort for him why? he s so ungrateful no does anything for me why? is it because I m so grateful for anything they do for me

hear ya i have the same problems

I am so sorry. I kind of know how you feel. My Mom has been married for 23 years also to my Dad and she HATES him with a passion. All he cares about is his job and making money. He makes tons of money but doesn't giver her any. He has an addiction to online shopping and buys the stupidest **** you could possibly imagine online. For examply he bought a Frisby Golf Goal that has been sitting in our ba<x>sement for over a year now that he has used maybe one time. Growing up my Dad was never really in my life or cared. When I was in high school he didn't even know what school I was going to! I just recently told him I started college and he didn't even say anything at all. He didn't say he was proud of me for paying for it on my own or making the right decision. He constantly calls my Mom overweight when he isn't looking to shabby himself and my Mom had 4 kids and works full time and is basically a single Mom and Grandma she doesn't have time to spend at the gym! She wants to divorce him more than anything but she is waiting until my little brother is 18 because she doesnt want to custody battle and it would be way too expensive for her to do it now. I hate seeing my Mother so unhappy all the time. I hope you can find your happiness and honestly as a child in this position watching it all happen for 19 years I wish they would have gotten a divorce a long time ago that way my life growing up wouldn't have been so tense all the time. I wissh you the best!

Omg all of these comments are my life! I went through 20 years of violince with him. Till 4 years ago when he knew id had enough and was going to leave. So he changed!!! But if i dare argue with him now or have pmt or be in any kind of mood. He makes it that its cause i hate him and want away from him and iam evil or a lier!! And i should remember hes changed for me and i should be grateful???? And he knows everything iam thinking apparently!! ( if that were true hed leave me alone). God i hate him and want a life now iam 43 and want to move on!! What do i do fed up working all week and crying all weekend, i need a break

just because he is not hitting u doesn't mean the abuse has stopped. This is what is going on with my mom now. She made the decision to stay with him and even though he wont touch her anymore mostly because we are grown and he knows we will get involvedm,he still treats her like S.H.I.T. The cruel things he tells her. I'm going to tell you what me and my sister have told my mom since we where little ..LEAVE HIM HES NOT WORTH IT AT ALL NOT EVEN FOR THE KIDS. !! she hasn't listened yet hopefully you do.

13 years into this mess......and I feel everything you are saying....we dont talk, sleep in the same room and when we F*** i just wish that he would hurry up. I close my eyes real tight because he likes to look in my face and I cant stand looking at him because all I can see are the problems. Having sex use to pacify the situation, now it just makes me sick.

sounds like me

Wow sounds like we all are in the same boat. I would leave but we have kids and so much financial stuff to figure out! it's a mess just the way he wants it.

Reply by DAYMGYRL Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:41PM <br />
I think mine has a split personality as well. I hate is a** also. I have been married for 14 years and hate every minute of it. When my children are old enough I am leaving him. I am trying to get myself together asa well, I have left several times before but always went back. I am trying to get emotionally stable now as to when I leave, I am gone and it is no turning back. PERIOD

I know the feeling, mine has a split personality or something, I have got to where I hate him, He is holding me like a prisoner because we have 1 vehic;le that works and its his, I am trying to get away from him and go back to TN where me and my daughter want to be instead of here in MS. I am just praying to get up enough money to catch a bus to get there. He says I am worthless because I do not have a job and MS is known for not having jobs in our area especially for somebody that has little experience since I raised our 2 kids, However there are lots of jobs in TN and my daughter will be at high school and I will do anything to get away from him and his emotional abuse, even scrub toliets

I think mine has a split personality as well. I hate is a** also. I have been married for 14 years and hate every minute of it. When my children are old enough I am leaving him. I am trying to get myself together asa well, I have left several times before but always went back. I am trying to get emotionally stable now as to when I leave, I am gone and it is no turning back. PERIOD

Same here.

25 years married here and I hear you loud and clear. My H comes home, eats dinner, turns on the t.v. and sits his fat butt on the couch until 11 PM at night. Hardly has two words to say to me all day then expects sex when he goes to bed or.. worse yet, at 5 in the a.m. when he gets his morning testosterone charge. Just...ick. We aren't intimate anymore. Don't even know why I married him as he never has been good to me. I plan to divorce when my youngest is out of high school - 3 more years. Hope I make it that long.

I'm married 20 yrs and feel the same way. I have to make plans to become financially stable. When I am, I'm out of here. He won't go so it's up to me. I'd rather live in a one bedroom w/the three kids then stay with him...

We have very similar stories. It's almost 25 yrs. for me too. I have a very passive aggressive fellow. He has up and down mood swings and is an alcoholic most evenings. I'm soo disguisted with it all and very sad. I'm still very attractive and I know I can have a better life, but I have always put my kids first. He s**ks!!!

There are only two things a man cares about: if I am not horny, go make me a sandwich. If those two needs are filled, men will walk into traffic for you, work 19 hours a day to make you happy and smile while doing it. It is a cycle where woman want more, the man wants to be satisfied, the woman retracts, the man then gives less, the woman gives less, everyone ends up miserable.

"There are only two things a man cares about: if I am not horny, go make me a sandwich." Can't tell if trolling or just really stupid...

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