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I Am Living In Hell

My husband is a self-centered selfish bastard. Everything is all about him. I always have to agree to everything he says because it's "how it's supposed to be" or "that's how I grew up..so that's how it's going to be". Whenever we are out in public he is always the "perfect husband" Everyone thinks he is this kind hearted and I am lucky to have him. But in close doors, he is just the opposite. He never listens to me, he will always think my opinion does not matter or it is a stupid suggestion or idea. He values other peoples opinion and ignores mine. He lies to me and tries to hide it. Always reminds m that I have to lose weight. I am nursing right now and he expects me to just lose all the baby weight. I just hate him, and whenever I tell him that I am mad or upset, he thinks I'm crazy. He thinks that I am inbalance and that I am the one that needs help. I really hate him and want to leave but right now I am out of a job. As soon as I find a job I AM OUT ! I just hope I can find work.
kyutpolar kyutpolar 31-35 11 Responses Dec 11, 2010

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why not get divorced from the chump

He is Narsissitic! Do a little online research about this term and you will know exactly who he really is! I live with one too but because I'm disabled the court ordered that he take care of my finances. To make a long story short, he drink beer on a daily basis, eats almost all of his meals out, stays gone as much as he possibly can from home and sees another women on the side. And yes I know who she is because I've met her and have witnessed how they act together. When I accuse him of having an affair with her though he stands back, screams about how crazy I am, that I'm hallucinating all of this, has actually had me placed in the hospital over this women so he could spend even more time with her. I want to leave too but he controls everything. I have thought about going to a women's shelter and just maybe there someone will believe what I have to say. But never will I forgive that women for standing right in front of my eyes and seducing my husband. Women's shelter is best I can come up with at least for my situation.

I think a womens shelter would be the best thing for you also maybe you can get social worker assistance and a place to stay where someone can ck on you.....YOU DON'T NEED THAT BASTARD....SORRY....

I have never known a man to be worth my time other than the one that was highly educated, medicated, and most likely gay. Every other man I have known has been just exactly what you women are describing. Selfish, shallow, and trouble! I had a woman roommate in my twenties and she had our disagreements from time to time but I now see they PALED in comparison to the type of misery and suffering I was to experience trying to get a grasp on something sustainable with these men. I can honestly say that there hasn't been one ever that I could trust enough to commit to. Talk about a disappointment. I remember my mother telling me to pick one in college because they weren't going to get any better when I left and I remember thinking, "are you kidding me?" . I heard a man on the radio talking about how the 80's ruined all of us and I believe it. I can honestly say that I am totally happy on my own without anyone else in my life at all. I even get physically sicker when men are in my life. My heart rate goes up and I gain weight. So ya....not going to go down that path again. Men are ********.

I don't hate my husband but I don't like him much either. I used to but I allowed myself to focus my life on him fo rth epast 12 years and now I find that my life is mundane, boring and repetitive. We don't go anywhere, occasionally we go and see his family, if I see my family I go by myself. We garden together sometimes him in the front yard me in the back yard. We dont have sex, ever. We rarely show any affection actually. He works, a lot, I have a casual job. He drinks, I don't. He has no friends and doesn't want them, I try to maintian friendships but I have becoem lazy and find it too hard now. We dont fight, we dont argue you have to talk to do that. We just get up, do what is expected of us each day and then go to bed, all the time. The family thnks we are the steadfast ones, the good example, the role models. Fact is, we are dried up and getting older every day.

i feel for you i really do and i am in a simalar situation the only thing that keeps me sane is day dreaming of doing a sweeny todd on the selfish git haha

I do not like to judge but it sounds like your husband may be a narcissist. If so, there is no way things are going to get better...in fact, the longer you stay with a narcissist, the more you will reinforce his idea that his way is "right" and everyone else is "wrong." And unfortunately that "everyone else" is YOU. <br />
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I am married to a narcissist so I know. And my husband is like your's...he is the most attentive, helpful person in public. Everyone I meet tells me how lucky I am to be married to him.<br />
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If they only knew....<br />
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If they only knew...<br />
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Don't let people talk you into anything you don't believe in. That was my mistake...I listened to all the "well meaning" people around me about how great my husband was/is.<br />
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He is not. <br />
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You will have to decide what you want for yourself, but if you do feel the way you write, then I do really suggest you consider life options that don't include your husband as an integral part of your life.

It's amazing that I am reading this and it describes exactly the fat lazy idiot I have at home. I am so sad that we need to deal with these idiot bastards that do not make anything else besides take all the joy in life we had.<br />
People are stupid when they say 'you should not let anyone control your thoughts', and this is very easy to say when this person is not the one to live 24/7 with a person that came straight from hell to finish with my life. #hatemyhusbandwithallmypower

I have been married for 20 years and counting everyday for my children become adult then I will leave him. He is a selfish husband. He only thinks of himself. We do not have a conversion for a long time. From the begginning of our 1st yeaar married - I thought I should be patient and hope that if we both have children then he would enjoy the family - turn out he was not there for me with the children - not even one night that he would get out the bed and went to the kids room when they cried. He did not help me at all when the children were babies. He did not even hold them. Even now; I take care the children - he only picked them up if his mother was not available - his mother has volunteer her time tp pickup the children from school because she thinks that he has too much stress with his job - she does not want to see him over stress. We both work but he has a hobby - his hobby uses up the evening and weekend - we hardly see him. He only come home early if he had arranged to meet his friend at the house. He used to dictate me about the music I should listen to. He is always right. My opinion about anything is wrong. He takes me for granted. I do not live for free - I work and contribute mental and physical time and money more than his share. I am really stuck with this married because my family side would not support my divorce. His parents are a very nice people I am afraid to hurt their feeling. There is always hope - my kids will grow up and become independ then I could free myself from his man. Now; I just put a lot of possitive energy to my health - At 6:00 a.m. when everybody is still sleep; I excercise everyday and keep in good shape because when I am free from this man - I will start my life over even I am over my prime life - happiness could be any age. You do not need a man to be happy.

That sounds EXACTLY like the man I was dating! I thought it was going to get better! Ya right...he appears to be an angel to everyone, but is condescending, arrogant and an *** to my face! Calling me a psycho *****....ya, your gonna get my ugly side buddy when you treat me the worst. THESE MEN are the ones with low self-esteem! They are jealous, and want to cripple you every chance they can! Many of them have pre-existing mother issues/woman issues. And, when they start to throw that **** back on you about you being crazy, N-O! If you find yourself sad, crying, depressed....that is manipulation and abuse ladies! You are better than a scrap[ you are the best cut on the menu. You wouldn't let anyone else like me talk to you like crap, so why do you take it from someone who is supposed to respect, cherish, and love you? Leave those ******** in the dust.

Excellent discription on character of such ahole men!!!!

He sounds just like my husband. I am having the same feelings and we haven't even been married a year