He Has No Respect For Me What So Ever.We've been together since I was 15. We married 4 years ago and had a beautiful baby girl 2 years ago. She's an amazing little person and we both love her very much. The main problems in our marriage revolve around the fact that he gives 110% at work and doesn't have any time or energy left for us.
I work part time 24 hours a week at a local hospital. He is a plumber and leaves at 6am to go to work and returns home at 6-7pm Mon-Fri. I clean, cook, pay the bills and watch the baby most days, unless I'm picking up extra hours for money, which I do most weeks. During times when I'm at work his mother watches our daughter, save for the one day she's at daycare (his decision, I'm not happy with it).
He arrives home from work, leaving a trail of dirt/snow/and clothes across the floors I spent time cleaning...plops on the couch, eats the food I've cooked, and watches TV until he falls asleep on it. If anyone tries to talk to him....you get one word responses if any and seems generally uninterested in what you're saying, BUT if one of his friends calls from work, he chats loudly and happily on the phone with them about various (seriously idiotic) topics.
He's VERY messy and does nothing to help repair our house when things need fixing. He's generally nasty and unbearable and will tantrum like a child when he doesn't get his way, and God forbid you ask him to do something, like take the garbage out (which I normally end up doing anyhow).
I just do so much to make his life easier, and he does nothing but make mine harder. If there's a holiday to be celebrated, he'll find a way to make it completely unpleasant....we didn't go to prom, we didn't have a bridal shower, wedding, or house warming....I feel like I'm missing out on all the milestones in my life because he doesn't think these things are important....so every day is just one....long...repeat of the last.
We recently tried grocery shopping together on one of his rare days home from work during the week due to a storm, and he huffed and puffed about having to go the store with me...upon arrival, he decided we should speed up the process by splitting up....as I got things from the deli (which he complained about because he likes things pre-packaged)....he yelled across the produce section to me about how every item I asked him to get "tasted like monkey ***"...."Granny smith apples are disgusting! We should be getting red apples!"...."Provolone cheese is awful! Get American cheese!"....."No! Don't buy that kind of fruit cup! The baby likes THIS kind!".....its just overwhelming....
He doesn't asnwer his phone when I call, or curtly says, "I can't talk" and hangs up.
Just so sick and tired of being treated like an ******* who can't make any decisions. Not being respected, when I do so much....I welcome the days that I work because people there love working with me and appreciate that I'm intelligent. It's an escape, a chance to get away...what I really would like is for him to come around, accept some resposibility around the house, actively be part of our little family, instead of being such a hurtful bastard who is the wet blanket in every situation.
I've asked him to see a counselor about his being controlling and not being able to handle his emotions effectively. He says I'm bipolar and I'm the one who needs help. Untrue.
If it weren't for the baby I'd be gone already. Just trying to coexist in the same environment without killing each other right now, but his being a filthy, slob, packrat is making THAT impossible too.
I just don't know what to do....getting more depressed every day. There doesn't seem to be a good answer here, and I don't feel like I can talk to any one else about it. My own mother just says, "Well, you knew how he was when you met him."...
So ******* fed up.....and stuck in my situation. There has to be a good answer in there somewhere, if someone else has any and I'm missing it, I'm open to suggestion.