I Can't Win....everIs there anyone out there who, like me, lives with a grown child? You know the kind....has a tantrum when he doesnt get his way, hurls curse words at you as though he just learned them, Rips you a new one over something minor. A frustrated, angry at the world individual who thinks everyone is out to get him and everyone owes him something and everyone else is just plain stupid. Do you find yourself in survival mode most of the time? Running interference so the jerk doesnt get upset only to have him get upset because you were running interference. This happened to me today and it aint new nor pretty. Let me explain.
I paid a bill without telling him. No, it wasnt a shopping bill (no new shoes, makeup or cute outfit). It was condo dues for the condo complex our college age son lives in. When the bill came due I decided to write the check and send it in so I WOULD NOT have to hear about how the condo place is ripping us off. I also thought, stupidly I might add, that he might, just might be glad I took care of it instead of bothering him with it.Au contrar my friends. He cursed me out, in front of my family (one 12 y/o) and told me I was irresponsible with money and should have talked to him before I paid it because the condo place is ripping us off. He reamed me for a good hour, then refused to attend a picnic our son was hosting. He is now pouting some 4 hours later. I am amazed at this behavior and I have been married to this !@#$head for 25 years.
Frankly, I feel the spirit in which I paid the bill should say to a normal person "Hey, I was thinking of you and trying to help out." And the normal person would say "Hey, thanks so much. I really feel these folks are ripping us off though. Would you call them on Monday and make sure the dues were applied properly to our account. Next month, you dont need to pay it. I will take care of it. Thanks again, I see you were trying to help me." Thats not what I got though. No sirree. I got verbally crapped on for an hour over this. And guess what...he didnt stop there. When he couldnt think of anything else to say about the bill he started in on my family. Called them every name in the book. Why? Your guess would be as good as mine. Really...I mean it. Your guess is as good as mine.
You know, every time I have tried this survival tactic....do something nice for the SOB then maybe he will be happy for one minute, it backfires. Am I crazy....IS THIS NORMAL?