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I Still Hate Him.

I still hate him. He have no clue what an a**h*** he really is. Today, he called me from work and I was still taking a nap with my son. It was late afternoon/early evening, but what can I do when your son doesnt fall asleep? Anyways, he asked me if I had gone to grocery shopping earlier and I told him no since I was plainning on going together with my parents tomorrow (my husband doesn't get along with my family due to an incident earlier this year). And I had told him about going shopping with them right before I dropped him off at work 5 hours prior to this conversation (and he tells ME I dont listen!) Anyways, as we talked more, he made stupid remarks and of course threw in his 2 cents about my parents and I was annoyed. I told him to give me a break about nagging about the nap and when he called me back later about shopping list and making remarks once again, he says to me " just wait til I get home". Like I'm supposed to be scared or something. I am 37 years old and I don't need to play these stupid mind games! GROW UP! And he calls me once again to ask me to bring something when I pick him up and I just replied ok and he goes " you sou d like you're upset or something when you said that". I just get annoyed when he keeps on calling me for little things. He calls on average of 4-6 times when he is at work. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Write your own shopping list! Or text it to me so that I don't have to constantly be annoyed by you!! And knowingwing how much I hate people hanging up on me and HE keeps on doing so. I know I probably sound like a b**** but when someone you're with does things like this on a daily basis, I can't help but become a b**** that I am. Oh well. Thanks for listening(reading). I just needed to vent.
cloudyskytoday cloudyskytoday 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 2, 2011

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I agree completely when someone says that girls shold not be encouraged to get married. I mean what pupose does a marriage serve when it can't give happiness, sense of security(mine has absolutley none), feeling of being wanted (and not required, there is a difference!) and financial security. I have lost all these in my marraige, something that I thought was there from the beginning. Like a fool I have been waiting for 11 yrs of my life for all these basic things, but now I am being told by my wonderful husband that these are things that I less deserve because my father did not pay up enough dowry!! What a b*****d! He tells me this after 11 yrs of celebrating our anniversaries together, and now he says that I have to cut down on my expenses(since I am not earning now and I am at home taking care of my 2 little daughters). I have already started training my daughter about the disadvantages of marriage!

Sometimes I really don't encourage my girls to get married after listening to all the stories, all marriages have their faults big or small although I'm still sticking on to mine. I feel real irritated at times being told to do things and being looked at like he is the boss. Usually I just shut up to prevent unpleasant encounter as it is just bad as it is so I think that is why it never gets better.

It is difficult for two separate human beings to live together considering we have been brought up entirely differently. I know, it is leave it or stick with it.

When my husband used to call like that I'd just turn off the ringer on the phone. Then, when I was ready to listen to his crap, I'd turn it on again. Now that he is older, he quit being a pain that way, but he's found different ways to irritate me. I always hated when I was upset about something and he'd mock what I'd say. That's just him being a jerk, I tell him that now. I used to go away hurt and feel bad for hours, but now I just tell him what an ******* he is. Not saying you should do the same, just saying I feel your pain. We do what we have to do to remain sane. I often have to tell him to quit talking to me because I feel my blood pressure rising just listening to him. He thinks everything he says is gold. Oh dear Lord, how did my mom stand it for 60+ years. I want to kill him at some time every day now!

OMG. Too funny. I hate mine too. What an A-hole!!! I've decided the remarks and chatter are just controlling. Just a way to control...and I never thought that in the last 15 years!! But, now I am. Things he has said over the years have caused me to change the way I act or think or feel. It is subtle but it is emotional abuse. I think about the things he's said to me over the years...commenting on the shirt I was going to wear...about the male friends I have-making comments about how they are interested in me...getting an attitude when I said certain things....never knowing what would put him in a mood so always having to think about what I am saying. Crazy.

I know what you mean and feel. It is CRAZY. My husband is controlling and he only wants things his way. I often don't express how I feel or want to say because of the reaction I might get. I can't even be myself. How pathetic is that?! So sad, but it's partially my fault since I choose to stay in this marriage.

I read your other post...and love the comment from someone who said for you to change one thing at a time...Moron.
It's not pathetic that you can't be yourself...cause if you're pathetic, so I am!! It just that stuff happens gradually and one day there you are feeling this way. I was reading something about battered women on the internet and, although there is nothing phisical going on here, some of the other things fit. I knew things were screwed up and not normal but after reading about how this is actually abuse...really bummed me out. So, i did tell him...and pretty much said I wasn't going to deal with it anymore. We haven't talked since. (that's fine) He actually started mimicing me on his way out. Seriously?! Oh, I said I finally knew what he was all about...how he manipulated things so I would feel like I was doing something wrong... I am glad I said it all. It's been 15 years...and three kids. There were things in the beginning that I should have seen but either didn't or thought they would change...and I know what you mean about staying around for the kid/s. If mine were younger, I would never consider leaving...and having them visit w/o me and deal with God knows what. He's a good dad but everyone turns into a different person during a custody battle and I know there would be one. I am just so sick of having his face constantly in my mind...thinking about everything I say and do. Even though I really don't care what he thinks, it's still there, that feeling I have of somone looking over my shoulder. Go away!!