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I Hate How My Husband Controls Me.

well me and my husband have ben married for 4 yrs. Got married in december 2006. I got married to prove a point to my family I was old enough to do what I wanted and to show my ex I would do what I wanted... And 3 months after we married. He came in with divorce papers and through them at my face while I was sleeping and said I want a divorce.. I got up and we argued about the situation. Then he said sorry. So then as are mirrage went on I noticed he would and still does. Tells me if I can go some where. And when I say I'm gna stay at my familys house. He tells me I'm stupid and retarded. And he won't stay he dropes me off..and our 3 kids. I stay at home with the kids and do the house work. When he is home from work ill ask him to help me out with the house and kids. And he don't and never has. I pretty much live my life as a single mother.. When I see a new movie on tv that's about to be in theaters ill be like I want to see that. He will say u f¤king stupid or retarded. And then I come back and say do u have to call me names just because I like something. He don't reply.. I have left him 3 times and every time he tells me I'm sorry ill take anger management and we will go to mirrage counseling. And he buys me stuff. Then he never keeps his word! I'm on the urge of just getting a divorce.... Mother to mention I have a 6 yr old son. He is not my husbands biologicall son. He has always ben mean to my son. Tells my son he is also stupid and dumb and seems to always want to make my son stay in his room! I argue with him about that stuff because he has no right to treat my son that Way. I'm tired of him for real. When he was in boot camp and AIT for the army. We was split up I found someone else. And was so verry happy. And felt like I should feel. I'm still friends with him and I believe he is my true love.. I'm just ready to be happy again. When I was with my ex he taught me how to drive and helpt me get my licence. My husbands won't even let me drive our van. And when I do he yells at me through whole time I'm driveing. I can't concentrate that way. My husband just makes no sense I'm a smoker. And when I want to buy cigarettes.a. He tells me u don't need to smo,e but then he will turn around and buy himself cigars or chew! But there is so much stuff I should go on and on and on but in just ready to Be Happy and move on with my life


won't stay with me

woke me up saying I want a divorce because u sleep to much! Ok really
tianicole tianicole 22-25 3 Responses Aug 17, 2011

Your Response


How many times was your little boy verbally abused? How often did / does it occur? <br />
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What happens when his step-dad tells your son he's stupid/dumb? What do you do? What do you say to your little boy? What do you say to your husband? <br />
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How do you prevent and protect your son from more abuse? What is being done to help your son in the aftermath? Is he in therapy? <br />
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Verbal abuse is as damaging as physical, and often more so. And it's even more dangerous for a young child like your son. A six year old has not developed any protective or coping skills and still views parents (even step parents, even monsters) as infalable, all-powerful and all-knowing. When a parent or similar adult tells a young child he is dumb, he believes it. He has inflicted permanent and serious harm. <br />
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I didn't see in your story why you are not able to leave. If the reasons are financial, you should reassess. The worst possible consequences from poverty are nothing compared to the consequences of abuse. Your son would be better off in a tiny apartment, a shelter, sharing a room with relatives...there nothing about being poor that even comes close to the damage from an abusive environment. Kids from poor but loving homes may lack possessions, but do have self-esteem, worth <br />
and hope. I know it's very hard to start over, lose stability, a home, etc. it is very hard. <br />
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But it just can't be harder than watching him abuse your little boy. It can't be harder than knowing your son believes the bastard. <br />
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And it sure as hell can't be any harder than the pain, fear and rejection your son lives with every day. So yes, it will be hard, it will be stressful, you will have to sacrifice. I am sorry and wish it was easier. But at some point the damage will be beyond repair. <br />
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You realize your

Tianicole - get away from this *******. Get your head screwed on straight and make your kid's lives and education a priority. If you choose to stay in this dysfunctional relationship for years, you and your children will end up mentally unbalanced. Seriously, get a divorce, and don't for God's sake move in with the man you think is going to make your life complete. Take time to process the emotional abuse this man has put you through and heal from it before you involve yourself with another man. Best wishes.

Time for you to throw divorce papers at him. Neither of you sound like you are ready to be married. Call it a wash and don't walk down the aisle with anyone else until you understand that being married, more often than not, means being an indentured servant to someone who doesn't deserve a kind word much less your time. If marriage was presented this way, instead of the happily ever after crap that it is now, a lot less people would rush to make this horrible joke a legal binding contract. This is coming from someone who has endured 30 years of utter stupidity to the point where I want to blow my brains out regularly.