Controlled Love

 We fell in love on our first date. It felt so right. It felt so good. I felt I had finally found the one. He told me he loved me and wanted to be together forever. So, we quickly got engaged much to my  family's shock and dismay. He was intelligent, kind, funny, caring and studying medicine. When we first started living together he had a few quirks. He wanted me to wash the dishes and clothes a certain way. But at the time I thought that everyone has a few quirks, and I could live with that.

As time went on I discovered a few more quirks. But I was in love and thought I could deal with them. He made irrestistable promises and I blindingly borrowed money for him, under my name, to help make them come true. When we eloped a few years later, I finally met my husband for the first time. And he was a monster.

Over night, he didn't want to see my family,  wasn't interested in my friends, and hated me spending time away from him. The honeymoon was well and truly over before it ever occurred. After the ceremony, he became angry, aggressive, abusive and paranoid. He needed to know about everything I did, and with whom I did it. Suddenly everything I did was wrong, so I had to learn his way: the right way.

Over the years, with more time and money invested in the realationship, things went from bad to worse. His compulsions to control me grew and grew. He would get upset about the smallest things, everything from how I closed the door to the order of toppings on his sandwich. If, I was forgetful I would get put down and harassed until I did it the "correct" way. After three years of marriage I was a nervous wreck. Constantly on edge trying to keep him happy.

I ended up losing contact with my family and friends.  My job was in the toilet. My sex life was non-existent. My husband didn't listen to me and dismissed my marriage concerns. I tried everything; communication, physical fights, sarcasm, threats and therapy. Nothing seemed to work.

A few days ago, a packed a few bags and left him. I later told him it was over. He is trying everthing to get me back. Luckily he doesn't know my location. And get this last night he asked me why I left him. I have decided to file for divorce.   
palandri83 palandri83
4 Responses Oct 9, 2011

Good for you!!!! .. congrads... I'm so inspired by your strenght!!

good luck.!!!!! hope i can do the same thing like you did.

He definitely has problems that you could do without.<br />
I wish you well in the future.<br />

palandri83, good luck!!!