Amazing How After Exposing The Truth, They Still belive Thier Lies...

omg round one million.... here we go again.....I asked dean if he could transfer some money into my account for food shopping... I said if he wasn't going transfer the money today, then I was not going to get dressed to go shopping... low and behold...bam!

he said, I cant transfer any money today, banks are closed! its Sunday... I then said, I beg to differ! and there we were at each other necks proving a point, I went to the banks web sight to see what they said about transfering money, when it would be available after transfer...the banks web site said, same thing I did....

its available any day up until 11;45 et time..(.he tried to make me believe the money could not be transferred past 8 at night ) then dean went on to say its not true!! I said yes it is, I'm reading right off the banks web sight...I told him banks don't make **** up and lie about their rules regulations

they are bound by law federal law ( National Bank Act of 1864 -- that's right, a 145-year-old federal law -- protects national banks from enforcement actions of the states ) he then goes on to say, no they aren't

for a man who claims to have been in project management, he sure comes across as stupid, making up his own stories (lies) and then expects me to believe his lies.

he is in the bed room right now sulking... good for him.. sulk away buddy! ....................... during the arguing I told him as I held my fresh cup of coffee, waving my hand over the hot steam WAKE UP, SMELL THE COFFEE!! DING DING! ... I then sarcastically said... ok YOUR RIGHT AND IM WRONG.. NOW GO TO UR ROOM!!! LOL

I told him the real truth here is............ you don't want to give me any money for groceries, all this blabbering about why you cant transfer money to my account for food is a cover up (excuse )....................... I asked him why cant you just say gypsy... I don't want to give you any money for food .. instead, you made some elaborate argument about how the banks are closed on Sunday and u cant transfer any money... and of course he said he wasn't.

after he crawled out of his room from sulking....he said he was pist cause i told him  auguring about the banks being closed on Sunday..was really a plea for opting out.. from giving me money for food... 

of course he tried to say i have  emotional problems from my parents...( my parents were not nice people to say the least)

anything to keep me in my place.... then asked him (after he insulted me acusing me of havein  emotional problems )

i said, ok.... tell me something nice about me......he had no comment..such an *** he is

An Ep User An EP User
13 Responses May 7, 2012

Oh I tried that by printing up the bank statement - circling in red all the money he spent on booze and his meals out - and how much he spent in his kid (nothing). That set him off so badly had to call the cops. They were disgusted to see a man that drunk in front if his kid - not so much by his threatening behavior to me.
Finally saved the money to retain a lawyer. Now here is we're the comedy begins. Can file for child support, but so long as he refuses to move out - won't get a penny! Doesn't matter that while he lives here none of that money goes to our son - just being here means no support from the courts!
Love how the legal system makes it impossible to get a dime for food. I am not a victim, I am busting my butt to get out, free, and on my own, but even the law is tossing up road blocks have to figure out a way around.
You keep telling the truth - at least you know what reality is and isn't! I am going to try and find an local support group. There has to be someplace to talk about this with other people. Tried private therapist - one told me how Zebras' don't get Ulcers - her mentor wrote a book on it. Wanted the laugh so hard - at least I paid for an amazing laugh! I wonder if Zebra's have credit card bills???

don't you love how therapist speak in code? you cant put his things out and change the locks? or have the cops throw him out?

Gypsyblu,<br />
Thank you! Most days are not bad, or horrible, but when they are it is so nice to have this site and supportive women like you! What is most encouraging is I think we have all had enough! Who wants a marriage ba<x>sed on disrespect? I just love the image of you telling your husband to wake up and smell the coffee! <br />
So I thank you for you kind words and support, and I hope you get your own coffee maker, in your own home!

Mine is what he woukd not call "drunk" again tonight. He has a long commute, and know he does not drink at the office. So judging from debit card - he hit the local pub before officially coming home from work. My parents - were like your ex - highly functional drinkers who always took care to pay the bills, send their children to great schools, took us traveling. It didn't mean they coukd live without liquor but they generally kept up all their responsibilities. My idiot gets at least 1 if not several utilities cut off every two months because he ignored all the warning letters. <br />
This is the time of day my stomach clenches up. He is in the house at the same time as me, and I do not - can not - leave my son alone with him. When he's like this - watch out! There's a ticking time bomb inside and it's ready to go off. Currently he furious his child has been fed organic Mac and cheese with fruit for dinner. But the issues he's mad about diesn't matter. What ai think they all have in common are little egos that need to ferl like kings, and when the world doesn't bow down - well then at least his wife (property) should. But I refuse to be treated that way - and that's when he goes off. Honestly do not understand why they do not want a divorce? If I am so beneath him - shouldn't he find a woman his "equal" - I am sure he'll find her in a bar. Nothing would make me happier but at the same time am still saving for escape. Not easy. A 2 bed room 2 bath house is listed for close to $599,000 in this area. Looking at at a nice town where prices are much better. <br />
Ok - just needed to sit here typing as it makes me ferl safer - then just sitting around waiting for him to blow up.

Ok - just needed to sit here typing as it makes me ferl safer - then just sitting around waiting for him to blow up.

gypsy &gt;&gt;&gt; i understand... i respect you for not leaving ur child with him...

No. I did go years ago - to indivudual psychoanalysis and discussed my parent's alcohol abuse, amount many things. . The analyst was great. Ok, granted I ended up married to a drunk - but he was not so in love with beer 20 years ago he couldn't or woukdn't go out to eat a meal with me, balance the check book, or get wasted at family events in front of kids. And it was my choice - can not blame anyone but myself for walking down the isle and saying "I will."<br />
Of two thoughts about going to a support group - one, do not want to waste a nano second on this jerk, his issues are ultimately his, and he needs to fix them while I focus on getting away. To the second thought, this has been a problem with my parent's, now my husband, and also his parents, so why am I surrounded by these folks? Must be me (ironically do not drink) so should learn why I fail to see warning signs and get the hell away! I think if the group focused on what the person not drinking deals with, I could listen and see what it has to potentially offer. But if I have to listen to 1 person justify getting drunk - forget it! I've already heard every excuse. My favorite is when they rate degrees of drunkenness - and decide they were not over their personal definition of drunk.

crazy thing about my guy is he hardley ever drinks... but he acts like some one who does......................... my x husband was a drinker, but he was not lazy, and he made a good living for us .. he was a high funtional drinker...

I just wish you the best. I know how hard it is to have the exit plan, but the recession, and other economic factors make it impossible to just walk away this very moment. God I would love to move one day while he's at work- leaving nothing but the past behind. <br />
Not sure wether to laugh, cry, or slap him, when he called me "cruel" for describing the things he has done to me in the last 3-4 years. So in his crazy mind - oK to DO these things but cruel of me to mention them. Now there is some screwed up "logic." <br />
Just walked away.

willow are you involved with any womens grp or any grp that deals with living with a drinker? its always good to have support .... by the way i like ur name willow.....

You get no where with logic. They live in a world were they are victims and we are mean for intruding with reality, like money to buy groceries. Have a plan to get out - must get out. Am tired of being up at 2:30 in the morning over flowing with rage. But lawyers advice I look like June Cleaver and MUSt be there for my child full time (as I have been for 10 years.) How to support my child, when to ensure getting full costody must be at home? Mean while - everytime he gets drunk (often), gets verball abusive (all the time), physically abusive (stopped when I called the cops twice) he convinces himself he's a victim. Need 1 year to get finances stright, find all the debt he's hidden, apply to a school one county north of where we live, and get a part time job - that no court could say makes me unailavlable to my child. Some days the plan gives me hope, others like tonight, do not think I can stand another day with this lying, SOB. If a day where "civil" is the ultimate best you will get out of a marriage - what's the point of the marriage? I just want to bash him over the head everytime he lies - but he really believes his lies. Is there a fantasy land where all these men meet - or is that just reality - and women get shafted in a man's world? How can a liar twist calling his wife a "c***" ok? Well they manage somehow. Bottom line - if you can't trust them - they do not belong in your life! It's the getting them out, I struggle with, he refuses to leave. Why would they - they get something out of their twisted concept of a relationship, or they'd want out as bad a we do. I do not know if you hope for change, I've given up on that. I hope for him to get the hell out! But no matter which way you feel - the lying will continue, it's so much a part of them - they don't even see it. I had to call the police the one time I pulled up bank records to prove his was lying and not living on 5 dollars a day. Try 80 to 100 a week at bars alone. So when faced with a "fact" on paper he just went nuts. I hope you find a way out. I hope every woman on this site finds the peace, decency, and respect they deserve.

willow said&gt;&gt;&gt;You get no where with logic. They live in a world were they are victims and we are mean for intruding with reality, like money to buy groceries. Have a plan to get out - must get out. Am tired of being up at 2:30 in the morning over flowing with rage......................... gypsy said&gt;&gt;&gt; willow omg ur must know me like a book ... those words u wrote is, so me! i have a exit plan, but it going to be a while before i take advantage of it, i may end up in my car or who knows??? i have no children, my son is grown an don his own, so most shelters normal dont take in a women with out children...

Exactly. These psycho husbands of ours love to play the victim and they despise facts. Logic is a foreign concept to them

Is gypsy just a name u picked or r u a traveler...I've researched the gypsy lifestyle...some people think its just made up about people with magical powers but I've been around travelers many times..just didn't know if u picked that name by chance or if it was a lifestyle of yours! <br />
Some men think all women are is emotions...please u deserve better!!!

nat i gusse you could call me a traveler... that is why i choose gypsy as my nick name.... and i love the name blue as a middle name ..... i was born over seas and have lived all over the country, and i fly back and fourth a lot acros country ...

I understand how these arguements happen. Logic doesn't work with illogical people UNLESS it helps their side of the debate. I wish you luck. Enjoy your coffee and save yourself the stress. In his mind, I'm sure he's still right or someone else is to blame. I'm temporarily married to one of these. Smile and let him babble.

It kind of hints of an abuser/victim scenario.

laf i agree...

oh yea i for got to say "alhoa"... being back on the main land i for get to say it....

Kia Ora or tena koe gypsyblu, is the indiginous moari greeting here in nz. as a dual language nation. You sound like a ral character in your relationship with ur husband. Its great reading your accounts.

ral charter? u mean real ? glad u enjy reading about my life....

<p>yes the label " iam christain" is a rather entresting label...<br />
my brother clamis to be one...<br />
but he doesnt act like it.... <br />
my family feel its more like a cult he is invoiled with...</p>

thanks tough (((hugs)))

I feel your pain! I'm having similar problems with my hubby. Hang in there!!