Am I Weird?

I have been unhappily married for 10 years. My husband has done everything humanly possible to hurt me. Every chance he got he stabbed me in the back. He lacks a conscience. He has no moral character at all. He thinks that all a husband has to do is pay the bills. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and since it was removed I have been having seizures. I am now on medication but I can't work or drive. Believe me he uses this to his advantage. Since he is the only source of income he controls everything. It's his house, his car, his phone, his money, his, his, his. Nothing is ours. I have to ask to wipe my ***. My house feels like a prison. I hate for him to touch me. Truth is I wish he had a full time mistress. I wish he had someone who had all of his attention and took up all of his time. I don't care if he didn't come home. I don't want him here anyway. We don't talk to each other, I hate to see him coming and love to see him go. Nothing I ever do is good enough and let him tell it I am the worlds worst mother. It would be a relief if there was someone else. He is a cheating lying dog anyway. It might as well work in my favor. Am I weird?
cyndei cyndei
36-40, F
May 15, 2012