I Am Done With The Abuse

Not even sure where to start. I have two children with him. We have been together off and on for 14 years. I was 19 when I met him and he was 26. He was great in the beginning, flowers, poetry great guy to be around and then verbal abuse started. For a long time I wouldn't stand up for myself, I would just cry. We got back together 3 years ago and moved in together with our Daughter who he did not help raise for 7 years ( I did that with the help of my parents when our Daughter was 6 months old and I found out that he was sleeping with our old neighbour) He would call to tell me how much he loved me and how he nessed up. He may have seen her 10 times in 6 years. I never recieved child support at all. I went to college and recieved my diploma all while raising our Daughter. So we get back together and I become pregnant with our son who is now 17 months old. My pregnancy was just as stressful as the first one. He would stay out all night, wouldn't call or answer his phone, I was called a fat pig and that was one of the nicer names when we were arguing. I thought maybe things were becoming bearable to the point qhere I did't want to choke him everytime I looked at him, but how wrong I was). He has since told me tht I don't pay for anything (I havea very good job and pay my own way as well as most if not all of whatever my kids need or want) I ask him for nothing and usually have to hound him for his part of the rent and bill money every month. He has told me that I would be nowhere without him (hahahaha) that's a joke since once I got rid of him the first time I was doing amazing. He has also told me that I will see how hard it is to do on my own (been there, done that) I have tried to get him out, but therer is nothing I can do. The last straw would be this week when my Dad (who by the way helped raise our daughter while he was off partying like a teenager) was admitted to the hospital. He was okay the first night when I asked him to pick up the our Daughter. Now this morning our daughter has a specialist appt and its about ann hour away by transit so he says he will take tge baby to daycare. We argue and he storms out of the house and leaves the baby, so that I have no choice in the matter. This is not the first time this has happened eithet. I have been late for work numerous times because he decides that to punish me he will leave the house and tell me to drop jim off at the very last minute. He has just started doing laundry and dishes and helping out with the kids. When I say just started, I mean in the past 3 months. Before that he would take the baby to daycare and that's where his parental duties ended. The nights not coming home, the nasty things I have been called, the nasty things he says, eveb the disgusting, demeaning tone of voice he uses while speaking to me and our daughter has brought me where I am now. He seriously treats our Daughter like crap 85% of the tome. He argues with her, tonight he told her that if she did not watch the movie that he put on she had to go to bed and she was not allowed to watch anything else in her room. This guy is the epitomy of the word bully. He tells her that because she doesn't listen to him he will not listen to her, he has called her a spoiled brat, threatens to smack her, thteatens to constatntly take things away if she doesn't get him an item that he wants such as a glass of water or kleenex. I feel like I am living with a teenager and I am at the end of my rope. I am afarid that if I leave he will be allowed to see my son every other weekend. I have sole custody of our daughter, but I have seen how badly he has messed up his older son from a previous relationship and it scares me that if that happens I won't be there those few days to interbene. This guy is mentally and emotionally and verbally abusive and I'm not sure how much more I can take before I snap. The way he speaks to my Daughter alone has been enough for most of my friends to comment on
justangry justangry
31-35, F
4 Responses Jun 1, 2012

How are you doing girl.<br />
God never asks to do do things we do not want to do.<br />
He tells us to experience life the way we want to experience it. Then, and only then can you be the best "who I am" in the world.That is your mission, to experience and create.<br />
Get out today, yes today, their is help all around you if you only reach for it.<br />
Leave today and leave the past behind you forever.Do not worry about the futur and live only in the "moment" of now, nothing else.<br />
I am from Ontario also girl.<br />
Louise CD<br />
Why I saw your story.God put it in front of me is the only possible reason.

Thanks for the support everyone, of course things again went well for one day over the weekend. Then it was back to his usual abusive self. I am looking at apartments today and will continue saving up as much as possible. Our lease is up in August and hopefully I will be able to make it until then

Your husband is an abuser,,,probably taught by his own father or very sick and poor male examples in his own life. Bastards breed other bastards...I think you would be better off alone with your kids; after all this will be a terrible impact on them, and you certainly don't want your son taking after this serial line of nasty behavior. <br />
<br />

Wow, what a creep. Before I read your comment about him acting like a teenager that is exactly what I thought, he sounds like a child. It is funny he says you couldn't make it on your own, because it sounds like that is what you are doing now, plus one extra grown kid that is a big pile of deadweight. That is, I mean, not funny haha, but funny F**cked up. It is very sad to hear how he treats your, and his, daughter. I don't know enough of the situation to say if your son would be safe with him on weekends, I would guess no, but I think you make it very clear that the current situation is damaging for your son and daughter now. Even his attitude directly with the children aside, just hearing him treat you that way is really awful for children to hear. I hope you do get out of this situation, without knowing you I already know you deserve so much better for yourself and your kids. Good luck, you seem like a very strong and intelligent person, I'm sure you will thrive without him.