You Supposed To Be The ManBeing married is the only dumb thing I regret most
I’am going to write it while blood is still boiling to the thousands of degrees and not for the sake of sharing it.
Now don’t get me wrong, teachers and preachers and judge mental people stay away from this rant and don’t ever think of putting your comments in here.. You are not welcome if you are going to pissed me by all these therapy thing and counceling and so on.. I don’t want anybody here fu-k my head now and teach me things about what should I do, things that I must do to save fu-kin marriage etc etc etc.
I don’t want that.. PEROID. I’m done.
Why oh why hes not getting what I meant!! Fu-k s—t!!
For all these fu-kn years I’ve never ever ever been this tired, tired as a dying horse who never ate for months and years.
1. I’m soooooooo tired of leading the family, for checking if everyone is okay ‘coz if not, It only means that another problem another burden on my back, and another thing for me to solve because husband doesn’t think of any solutions of his own and just rely onto me all these years even if I beg him to help me at least think and not just wait for me with my go signals all the time! It’s so heavy for me to carry and for not really getting the real meaning of helping each other. it’s too much lik I run the fu-kn house like a butler with no salary. Plans for groceries and bills and my daughters needs and savings, and housemaids wage and guiding her on a list on things needed to be done EVERYDAY and ALLL anything that a wife-husband must share together is always and was always been grade 1 section ELEVEN. I done it all ALONE. I’m in a long battle of brains alone for so long ALONE!!!
2. . I’m tired of being the master planner, master builder, master problem solver and the master adviser. He never planned on to anything for the future, like he never ever layed his dreams on my table and let me dream with him, he never sets a goal for us to achieve. I set all the simple and the hard goals instead and let him dream with me instead which is at first was flattering but now its frustrating.
He doesn’t even plan for anything for even simple weekend to make it a memorable one but instead sleeeeeeeeeeeeep whole day and never wakes up until I get angry.
3. He never made US special even to the slightest way. Ok friends are saying hes a good man and everyone respect him but God,,,,He never EVER planned on even giving us together a simple wedding anniversary but instead I fu-kn planned for it and me making it special but eventually stopped celebrating on the 3rd wedding anniversary bcoz I didn’t find it special anymore at least to my side. Ok I don’t wanna complain for not getting gifts on that special day but even the thought of gesture of taking me out on that stupid day into a historical places and sights which I was soooooo dying to see eversince I stepped into his land. Never ever been in a movie theater with him b’coz I don’t know why. I was so stupid to just let all these come up to the ends of my hairstrands, un-noticed for years and took me for granted like this. I was stil hopeful though but I’m done talking about it to him.
There is soo much more and I was like hoping for people in my family and friends to not just give me the dumbest of all reasons that its okay hes a good man anyway and this and that.. I need a man who speaks his plans and who knows how to RULE and who can show me that he is the master and me to be at his side for all the better and for all the worst . I’d be happy standing and supporting him all the way if only he was like that….. I need a MAN not a man who never wants to grow up.