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Do I Stay?

My husband and I argue every day. He tells me he drinks so be doesn't have to be around me and deal with my crap. I'm sooo unhappy ... Peri menopausal periods lasting 7 days and coming every 15. I'm putting on weight even though I don't eat anymore than I always have. I cut my hair short to rebel from my image and absolutely hate it. I have no self esteem think I look ugly and old and have nothing but this relationship to look forward to.

He continually tells me he's had enough and he'd leave but we have so much debt and a split would end us financially. When I came into this relationship I had a lot of Money but paid all his debts off and his ex wife!!! Now I've nothing and three sons to support too!

And then ,..... My first love. The one I adored just came into my life!! He's married and I don't trust him anymore now than I did 20 years ago but the rush of the thrill that he's tracked me down and says he still fancies me. !!! Its made me question what I'm doing. Yet at the same time I question how this contact could explode my life!

I'm a mess! Where do I start to get myself together rather than end every day in tears feeling useless and ugly? Does anyone know how I feel and have got through it????

deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 17, 2012

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