I Feel Like I Am Drowning In My Life...

Really! My husband and I have been married for 8 yrs and I am 5 years older than him. He constantly yells at me for anything and everything. I calls me a ***** all the time and tells me I am lazy and stupid. I pushes me throws things at me. He is rude and cold to me. He rough houses with me and always gets to rough and when I get mad and push him away hard or try to get him off me he will punch me in the arm or leg with all his might. I have bruises all over me from him "playing" with me. He lies to me about everything and anything. I have found dating website profiles he has made. He constantly lies to other people about me to get thier pitty. I had a cancer scare and had to have 3 surgeries back to back in a 2 month period to get tumors out of my body. I am doing ok now and want to get out and do things. He lied to people he works with and told them I was really sick with cancer and I have been struggling with treatments so he gets thier sympathy along with free food, candy, time off, etc. We barely ever have sex and I have wanted a divorce for a while now. He keeps telling me if I leave I am a quitter and that my family will see how much of a faliure I am that I could not make my marriage work. Or he tells me I am leaving him now that times are rough cause I am heartless and want to leave him with nothing. I don't know what to do. He is the only one working right now, we live hundreds of miles from my closest family members, we have no money and my car is worthless. I love him but I hate him. It wasn't always like this but no matter what I try nothing seems to change. I need HELP!
lockedupinmishawaka lockedupinmishawaka
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 17, 2012

Thats not a loving or care relationship. Thats psychically and mentally abusing, and isn't healthy. Im also in an mentally abusing relationship and I tell you after 15 year's its already mess's with your head. We moved from the UK to kenya where he was born. Ive no one here to help me totally alone. But I know I need to get back home. I also get told im stupid, no one likes me, he shouts at me everyday blaming me for anything that goes wrong, like today a classic. Just because his shower water wasnt hot so he shouts at me telling me im stupid, im scratching my head now wondering what the hell does that got to do with me. But this is what he does, total none related things its my fault. If I leave him its me a my one suitcase and my 2 small dogs which I cant leave behind. He says he like animals what a joke, doesnt even pet them. Oh yes I got told the other day his going to kill my dogs and kick me out on the streets. Now thsi isnt so nice.

you only live once! do you want to live your whole life with this jerk who hurts you and puts you down everyday? Move on and start a new wonderfull LIfe!

Sweetheart this man is not worth driving you to an early grave. Your family should be supportive of you regardless of your decisions AFTER ALL IT IS YOUR LIFE AND SANITY AND HEALTH HERE YOU TAKE CONTROL OF THE WHEEL. Do not listen to him for he is just trying to beat you down emotionally and make you feel of no worth you have lots of worth.. he is the one who is FK UP here...<br />
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GOOD LUCK <br />