I Left A Bruise On My Husband's Arm

Last night, I went to bed with a brutal headache. I knew my husband was looking forward to sex because it had been awhile. (We've been married a little over a year and we're both 26. We have a 4 month old little boy.) He crawled into bed and snuggled up to me. I said, "I have a massive headache." But I reiterated the fact that I was willing to have sex if he would be on top. Well somehow that pissed him off, but I didn't really know it, so I came onto him, and he pushed me away. The situation escalated quickly, as it always does with him, because I wronged him. I'm still not sure how, but I rolled over to settle my head as it still hurt (even though I took something). Maybe a half an hour had passed and he rolled over towards me quickly. He grabbed my head and pushed it down into the pillow and told me I was a dumb mother f*cker and worthless c*nt. This repeated 3 more times until I blew up. He grabbed my wrists and I tried to work my way free. We fought for hours. I cried, tried to get him to understand, and then discovered that he was on his phone reading some blog entitled "My wife is a *****." We fought off and on and at some point during the fight (which was mostly physical) I gave him a nasty ugly bruise on his arm. Most of my fighting was in self-defense since he had me pinned down on the bed squeezing my wrists. I never stopped asking what I did in the first place to **** him off. My guess was that I told him I had a headache, but he kept saying that he wasn't mad about that, but he was mad that I didn't say I was sorry. SORRY FOR WHAT, YOU STUPID A**HOLE!??!?!

What did I do? How come I can't be myself with this person who vowed to love me forever? I stay up late to make sure he has supper because he works late every night. I work a full-time job, take care of the baby and the house. If I start to slip at home, I go through the ringer, so I let myself slip at work because no one is going to call me names and give me the cold shoulder for days on end. I can't take this anymore. I feel as though he doesn't appreciate me, and I want to cry everyday. I want my son to have parents with a stable relationship, but I can't give him that when I constantly fear the second my husband will walk through the door. I can't get him to talk to anyone, and I really don't want to give up the marriage, which seems pretty stupid because I'm posting this on a conversation called I hate my husband...

Help me, please. I need advice. I can't leave, but I can't stay. Has anyone been through this?
boxedin23 boxedin23
1 Response Sep 10, 2012

If you stay in that situation, the violence will escalate. Someone is going to get hurt or killed in a fit of rage. He should never lay his hands on you no matter what. Men provoke women, they get a kick out of it because they know they are stronger and can take you down. You really should consider getting away from him.