NOT Worth It

Has everyone totally given up on their vows? I mean seriously!! Hate is such a strong word. Sounds like I wouldn't even mind killing your husband if given that chance! Shame on you guys!!

Since this was written in 2007, some six years ago. I wonder if she ever found a better life for herself. She has not been on here since that time.

ı just wonder what happened or what made you take the first step ? in between: good luck in your new life ! ı wish ı can do the same !!!

i'm glad you got your life back. Being cheated on is no way to live. I'm glad you're standing on your own two now :) Congratulations on that :))

I m very happy for you finally you re free, you have to take you re life in your hand. .. beware to not falling in the same trap.

Hey....at least you're free now.

I wish I had your courage.

You are my hero!

There is just no point in continuing in a relationship that is hurtful. Sooner or later you had to make up your mind. Later does not mean it was too late.
Well done

I hate my husband ive been married 12yrs and dont know how to get out

i really hate my husband he always puts me in awkward position in front of other people especially his inlaws.today my mother in law complained to him about me that was the worst thing coz i always tell her everything and she in turn did that.feeling bad but deep down i know he created my image like that

It took me 14 years to wake up.I hated my husband and his kids more.I know it doesnt seem like a great thing to say but they made my life hell .He didn't work more than 4 weeks at a time he stunk uo the house ,he didnt clean cut the grass take out the garbage etc. his kids constantly lied the last straw was when CPS came to my home and said my son was touching his 11 year old and they questioned him at his school ,I was hell hot angry. He had the nerves to say "It's not that serious ". we constantly have knock down drag out verbal fights over his kids who was supposed to stay with us a wek and it was 3 years before I left..I decided to hell with this and I saved up every penney didn't pay one bill purchased a cheap $800 car .Viewed several apartments that seemed safe and liveable rented a U-Haul and moved out everything in 1 hour I didnt even pack I just tssed things on the trucl.Guess what??/I am now very Happy..No man is worth any woman losing value. can tell you I waited ,I cried ,I prayed ,I forgave and continued to love and give .ow the only giving is for me and my son..You can do it pre-plan and say your gonna do it and just make the 1st step.Once you have you will not believe how light your steps will become as you unload all your stress.

Wow! It's hard to find strength to even think that a relationship might not be working. I am in one and it's scarey! We have been married for 4 1/2 years and are currently pregnant with our first child (after years if wanting one). We have gone through councelling numerous times but the only time that really worked was when he went by himself, before we married and it helped him "see the light", and that living without me was not an option. After we married, he reverted back to his old ways of silence, lack of interest in me, both physically and emotionally, and lack of respect. I have told myself time and time again that the man who proposed and married me is still there but he refuses to come out, despite councelling, infertility (and getting through it), and me pouring my heart out time and again. It's getting exhausting and depressing and now that we are expecting a child, I am more scared than ever and upset that he still treats me with as little respect as he does. I know he loves me but he doesn't understand how he makes me feel when he leaves me a public events for no reason, when he refuses to talk to me or to be intimate with me in any way, when he shows such a lack of interest in the planning of the arrival of our child, when he refuses to discuss issues of concern, when he never compilimemts me nor tells me I'm beautiful (instead he agrees with me when I say that I look like a "Plump" in my pregnancy) and when he refuses to be involved in many areas of my life. I know hate is a strong word but sometimes I look at him and feel that .... And the funny thing is, he knows it but he doesn't care :(

How does one move on? Hatred from my end is the only truth. But I still can't get out of this relationship and leave him.

less than 1 year of marriage. i dont know why we are married..... i knew it wouldnt get any better... just worse.

I think this is the best post I ever read!!!!

I am so glad I found this site. I just googled and all of you are here feeling the same way I feel about my husband of 9 years now. I had a good sincere laugh at one of the post because I thought I posted it. All the similarities are here and gives me hope to follow through with my divorce. I will be filling out the papers tomorrow for sure. I have 2 adult children and we have a 6 year old together. I finally hit my rock bottom and I know I am much stronger than what I was 1 year ago. I did not know his behavior had a name (narcissist). I felt relieved to know I am not the trouble maker in this relationship. I found a picture of a nude woman on his computer 3 weeks ago and he said she was only a friend. I tried to make it up to him by being a little more sexier because I thought it was what he was looking for...wrong!!! This man is just crazy and wants me to believe I am crazy. Thanks to the person that talks about how she left after so many years. No one really wants a divorce, I just want to be in a healthy relationship with someone who loves, respects me, and treats me the way I deserve to be treated. By the way, I knew he was an addict before we married, but I was hoping he could see that I loved him inspite of his faults. I thought I could help to change him into this wonderful person I felt he was on the inside. I assumed he needed a good woman like me to bring him back to life, after all everyone else kicked him to the curve and I didn't want to be so cruel. That was then and thank God I am fully awake now!!!!!

Guess what? I did the same thing. Left him and got my smile back. I was gone for two years and guess what? I came back. Guess what? I am miserble and planning on leaving again. It sucks so bad. I thought I was careful coming back. I thought he really had changed. But the past three months since I have been back he has progressively gone back to his poor me attitude and I am still alone in the house with him. I regret giving it another shot. The stress and disappointment are horrible. I had watched our relationship begin to go back to the way it was, but this week was the straw that broke the camels back. I had a hysterectomy on Monday. Interestingly HE didnt feel good Monday morning. I told him I would go to surgery myself, he pulled the martyr act and pulled himself out of bed to go with me but acted miserable at the hospital. I was the one scared to death. Scared of surgery, scared to lose my uterus, scared of cancer, scared of pain, scared of dying and here he was in a wheelchair tired with a headache and complaining to me like he expected me to baby him. All it did was **** me off. After surgery in my room if I made a comment about pain or not feeling good, it was always countered by him with his problems. The kicker was coming home from the hospital. He dropped off my prescriptions, I told him I needed an abdominal binder and cough medicine. He came back with nothing, said they didnt have it and we were going home he wold come back for my meds. We got home, I asked him to get my purse and flowers from the car, he screamed at me that he would but for me to wait he had to go in and have diarrhea first. It was urgent for him, but he stood there explaining it to me for longer than it would have taken to get the stuff and help me into the house. He came back out and held the dogs back while I made my way up the stairs. He could have put the dogs up and helped me, but he didnt. He came in with me, handed me two pillows and told me to wake him up in 45 min and he would go get my meds. Well he wouldnt get back up. Finally my oldest son came home and I sent him to get it. He didnt realize that I hadnt had pain meds since 6am and he ran around town and didnt come back for a few hours. Husband slept through the whole thing. I was pissed and at one point ask my husband if later he would take care of dinner for us (I was even pissed that I had to ask). My son had to go to work and husb said he would get up later and go get us something to eat. Around 6pm, I asked if he was still planning on getting us something, he said yes. At 8 I asked if he was planning on getting up and going, he said yes. Needless to say he didnt and my son brought home frozen pizza after his shift. It was midnight. Husband still not out of bed today and still has not even asked me how I feel. Honestly I think he is mad at me for not giving him attn for not feeling well. So I hate him again. I really did think maybe we could make it work. But he will never let go of his selfishness and I know I will not be able to deal with that for the rest of my life. I am now angry at myself for even giving him an opportunity. I am even surprised that he wont even try to help me after such a major surgery. It hurts me so much, really hurts. And for the record he is not sick at all. He might have the runs, but there is nothing new wrong with him. If a friend called him and wanted to come over or go to a music show somehow he would be fine. I need to post this in my stories, I started writing about hating him a few years ago and this long post needs to be there too. My husband is selfish and I hate him. You all are right IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

Im going to take a page out of ur book and just leave.

But HOW...... did you leave???

Yeh for you!

How did you do it? Please shre THAT story for thse of us who want to follow you.

I wish I can do that!

For almost 12 years I was this kind of a husband. To all the wives and to my wife who went through miserable life with your marriage, I am terribly sorry. Please forgive my self-indulgence, immaturity, un-mindfulness, insensitivity to your feelings and selfishness. I was complacent that I assumed everything is OK. Now she really pissed off that she shouted: ENOUGH. Then I realized everything I did to her that made her miserable. I regret the chances that I missed to make her happy. She's all of my life and I love her. Now, my realization doesn't make sense to her. Should she decide to go free, I need the courage and strength to face the consequence of my actions. She deserved to be happy

This is me

*high fiver* congrats for leaving. Now's better to wake up than never! :-D

I hate my husband aswell. Im happy for you to have left. I havent had the strength or guts to do it yet. Im trying to work out a plan on how to do it. Having 3 teenager kids with no money, no support means its going to take alittle longer then i thought.. I hate who i am. A weak women that let her husband .change the person shee is

I did the same. I didn't hate my ex. I loved him, but I didn't like him and I hated the life I had with him. Eventually I stopped loving him in the way that made me want to stay with him. When I finally couldn't take it any more and got the courage to leave, like you, I just walked away. I didn't ask for support, and let him keep the house while my kids and I moved into an apartment. I just wanted out and didn't want to have to deal with any more of his crap. Even though my life became harder for a while, I was much happier. I felt like I was floating on air sometimes because that giant weight I always felt when I was with him was finally off my shoulders.



Its been over ten years, and I am now with the love of my life and we have a great life together. I can't imagine being happier, and so are my kids. My ex has gone through extensive therapy and realizes the mistakes he made and has told me several times he regrets losing the love of his life because of his selfish, narcissistic behavior. I hold no grudges. I hope that one day he will find a new love and become happy like I am.

I feel for you and commend you! I didn't hate my husband too much until my parents died within 3 weeks of each other and then he filed for divorce 6 months later. He said it was because "I had changed". Gee, ya think??? I hate him now and I love hating him! He ruined our family, we have 3 girls, 2 of whom will not speak to me now, he's become a born again "hypocrite" and I LOVE to hate him! He's a fat, ignorant joke and even though he caused me a nervous breakdown after the divorce, I now, couldn't be happier to be on my own. I've been through hell and back and he thinks he's GOD. I can't wait for judgement day! Hate is the only emotion that can purge your soul. Go ahead and hate him as much as you want. It feels so good.

at least youre awakeincanada now, right? LOL coudent pass it up