Crazy, Crazy, Crazy!

So he cares more about what strangers "may" have said about him (regarding not providing for his family!) but thinks it's fine to take my money, my mother's money, and anyone in my families - money! So what's crazy - lets see - if anyone says a negative thing bout the soon to be ex - I must tell him or - I am a"liar". But if I openly state to the family (hiding nothing) that I want out of this marriage I have as he calls it "Zero Credibility."

This may not make sense and ramble - but I am still shaking after the last show down with AZZ husband - who cares more if his public image is good - then if the cops have hauled him away for abuse and being extremely drunk in front of his child!

Just want out!!!!!!! Just want the hell of living with a verbally abusive, bitter, physically pyscho man!!!!! There is no logic with these crazy men. Only one golden rule - they are always right and you are always wrong!!!!!

If it we're for my child - I would just run. Don't care where I ended up - just run!

316Willow 316Willow
41-45
1 Response Nov 30, 2012

Follow up - so 3 non-stop days of hell! Today I asked him to name just 1 thing he liked or admired about me (married 22 years) he could think of nothing!!!! Even though rational mind knows he's nuts - felt like a punch in the gut. Then said I was an egomaniac for asking him to say anything positive about me. Lets see my other offensives. His family slammed me because I "don't work." So I listed all I had done since our son was born - and what that would have cost if we had to pay a 3rd person to do those jobs. This too was evil. So it's legitimate that he earns a salary but not to put a price on how much I save us by being full time day care, contractor, cleaning lady, personal secretary, serve on a local board raising 3 figures, and serve as a class parent. Clearly I have tons of free time to sit on my butt doing nothing all day. But venting aside - will have enough money just after Christmas to file for divorce! The BEST Christmas present ever!!!!!!

You are right to think of yourself that way. I finally started thinking of myself in the same way. I may not work, but I am a full time cook, maid, and babysitter. I don't even get a wage. You would think the courts would look at that. Maybe if you had an angry female lawyer who believed in you.
And Merry Christmas to you!! I hope it goes as well as you need it to. Maybe you can offer free room and board to someone if they will watch your child. I know this is my biggest problem. Figuring out how to make enough money AND pay a babysitter.

Yes - it the problem I think most mother's face - we work - but that work is not compensated with a salary! I do have a small company - in a banner year I make 5 thousand. But through board work raised over 200 thousand in 3 years on a local board. So what gets me is applying for jobs - they see "house wife". Ummmm - we are a hell of a lot more then that! And as a top notch private nanny earns 70 to 80k a year just for babysitting and driving - think of how much we'd get paid if we did what we do for another family, what we do for our own!!! Feminism still has a long way to go! Until laws are changed so every woman is financially guaranteed 1/2 of any husband's salary, for every year she stayed at home doing all the grunt work of having a house and a family. If it's the husband who stays home to put his career on hold - he too should be compensated. The laws need to change! Though I have spent 13 years - 2 gutting an old house and tripling it's value, and 11 raising our child, I would get only 5 years alimony! Yeah - that's fair. I didn't even take a penny of his earnings for 3 years and supported our son and myself on the money my father left me. Now I am told by a lawyer I don't even get that back in a divorce! But he gets his 6 figure job and health insurance if I leave, and I loose my home, health insurance, and will live on 1/3 of his salary while still raising our kid. He gets 2/3 all for himself. Such a screwed up system. Ugh!