I Need Love,care Too...

i have been married for an year,its my husband's third and mine first marriage.i wed and moved to my husband's home in uk. i have got none of my family member here.
what all my husband expect me is to cook and clean not his home only but his mum's house as well.
we only stay at our home in nights,the first thing i do in the morning is to cook a lavish breakfast for him and get ready to go to THE OTHER HOME(thats what he calls his mum's house), there its a big family,the next door is his elder sister.there i am on my feet all the time. i am supposed to serve everyone there.cleaning their house,cooking for them and every day at dinner time three of four of his sisters come with their kids and some time all the four.
i not only have to cook but to serve food to all and later have to do all the wash up do.
as english is not my first language and british accent is new for me,the make fun of my accent or if i speak wrong english they call me Freshii. i can see there is no respect for me in their eyes. though i
have done MSc in Biological sciences but they call me ignorant as i am not at home in english.
not only this but my husband dont pay me what my right is! may be because he got married first some 16 years before and before he got married he had girl friends too.
i dont want to live with him, and i cant go back to my home country as well , for my parents sake i cant get divorce, i dont want to give him any pain in this age.
he never takes me for outing or buying decent stuff for me.
i dont want to live with him anymore, i want kids so disparately i think my husband cant give me kids too. he had no kids from previous marriages.
i dont know what should i do. i just want to throw me in a moving train.
alon1 alon1
41-45, F
4 Responses Dec 1, 2012

thanks,SurpriseLove. my father -inlaw was hospitalised for 10 days ,some heart problem, now he is back to home. them 10 days were the horrible most days of my life as i was staying there full time. one of my sister -inlaw is so awful with me, giving me attitude on just not making her tea the way she liked or to serve food to her son late.her husband used to come over as well and i was supposed to serve them fresh hot from the stove.
i got cold on 4th day of my stay,bad cough and headace may be coz i was doing wash-up all the time,kitchen was so busy.all 4 of my sis-inlaws with their families were staying too.but for my surprise everyone blaming me why i was not taking co-codomol on regular.honest to God no one even asked me for a cup of tea. yes my mum-inlaw was kind to me as she told me to take rest and stay in my room there,but she got influenced by her daughter soon and stop talking to me as if i was not there in the house.
i am back to home now and i have told my husband if i am being neglected like that i would have to move to some where else. i have got canadian nationality as well. for sure i cant go back home leaving my hubby,and dont want to leave my hubby he is polite with me.but i can move to canada i can easily take a job up there.

Uff I feel so sorry for u! I do! I am almost in the same situation .got married in July and I known him from almost one year.all I can tell u is that it is oviously him and his family can do what they want with u.ur like a made they don't have to pay .even in some cultures the woman have to do everything in the house like u do ... I still think is to much! I am wondering how all this started? How did they told u that u should clean and cook in his mum s house too? .I live in England too,London!and like u.I can not get a divorce .(same reason)and can't go back to my country!u are beautiful ! U can do much more then this with someone who will know to appreciate u! Is all up to u! For the moment I can only advice u something which is not a nice thing ,is to pretend for some time that ur not feeling good!that u can not get out of bed.and see if someone really cares about u! In this time fi d a job on Internet! Or I don't know really.I wish I can help u!! Wish I can help myself !! Good look! X

i am teaching me to stop treating those who never respect me as queens and princesses.
those who respect me i respect them millions time more. i will never be rude nor get in any argue or verbal attack. if some one abuse me i will keep quiet for the sake of my marriage,at least my husband is never harsh with me he never verbally abuse me.

Remain calm and focus on things that bring you a sense of peace. Make a firm commitment to build a life that fulfills you and remember that it may take time to piece it all together. Remind yourself that you need to feel loved, appreciated and cared for and that you deserve to be treated with respect. You are not alone and you are stronger than you may feel at times. You sound like a great person who is in a tough spot but please don't think about suicide as an option.

Step one: Write out your goals and the things you want.
Step two: Create a realistic plan to attain your goals.
Step three: Slowly and peacefully move toward your goals.

Thanks realchanges, your kind words are huge help for me.yes, i will take your sincere advice. I may ask my friends again about my strategy for their help and moral support.