If You Can't Talk To Me, Don't Touch Me.I don't know what happened to my husband. One minute he was great and the next minute he was just like countless other men that I've dumped. This is going to be my last relationship. I've learned my lesson.
All of a sudden, my husband has no interest in anything that I have to say. He's not even doing it on purpose. It's like a switch has flipped. He can't hear me, he's not interested in anything I say, and he can't remember anything I do say. We barely see each other. I've trained myself not to bring up anything pointless that might come to my mind, but even the few sentences I say don't interest him in the least. I'm a goofy, interesting woman. I've lived a lot of awesome things, in awesome places all over the world. I can find a way to talk about anything. I love a friendly debate. I love learning new things. I have an incredible memory. I feel like I'm wasting myself with this man. I'm absolutely stuck at the moment, as we are living overseas, but as soon as my feet hit US soil, I am going to be out there living it. The only solace I get now is going to the gym for a few hours when he gets off work. I just started doing this again because trying to spend time with him was getting me nowhere. I think I just married below my standards. He'd be a great guy for someone who merely wants a husband. I didn't want that. I wanted a best friend and partner in life.
I could maybe understand his not being interested if he didn't seem so intent on making me happy. He knows I'm unhappy and it's making him miserable, yet HE CAN'T DO the one thing that would help fix our marriage.
We've had long talks about this problem and we've seen a counselor. I shed many, many tears, but I'm all dried up now. I have nothing left for him. I'm happy to have moved on emotionally. It was breaking me.
He now tries to show that he's listening and interested, but all he does is give super short responses. It's so faked. If I ask him something, it's "yes, no, or maybe". That's it!!! If I say I did something or I like something, all he can manage is a "do ya now? or a did ya now?" in the most annoying tone. If I hear him say that one more time I'm going to lose my got dang mind!!!!!
Then, after an entire day of "yes, no, did ya now?", he wants to snuggle with me on the couch. Are you kidding me? I don't want you anywhere near me! You didn't hear several comments I tried to make today. You've done absolutely nothing of use today while I never sat down. Why would I want you touching me?!? We can't even have decent make-up sex anymore because he lasts less than a minute and he forgot what foreplay was the minute we got married. I can't understand it at all. I look GOOD!
We can't make it through a movie before bed. He falls asleep and immediately starts snoring. I have to make him go to bed. He used to lie and say he was just resting his eyes. I'm glad he stopped doing that at least.
I'd tell him that it's over, but he doesn't want to hear it. He's the one hurting now because I let go. All I ever did was complain and I got sick of doing it. "When a woman stops talking, she stops caring".....those are some true words. I'm sure it's true for some men, but in my experience, they just stop talking no matter what. Happy, sad, angry.....they stop talking to their wives. I wish he would just give up on me like I have him. I wish him luck finding someone who wants to only discuss cars and bomb tech stuff. Someone who likes guys with a quick trigger. Someone better and better looking than me. I don't care, I just don't want him anymore.
Since he doesn't listen to me or remember anything I say, I just don't talk much anymore. I carry on entire conversations with myself in my head or with our toddler. It's not healthy. Blogging about my hate helps a lot, but I really need to either leave or for him to happily accept that we're just roommates now. I would love to have a roommate relationship for the sake of our toddler. I wonder if I can wear him down enough to go for it. If I keep the house clean, laundry done, online bills squared away, the food cooked, act really interested when he talks (everything I've been doing since we married), but start flat out refusing to sleep with him, maybe he'll want to keep this life while trying to find a better match. I don't want to find a better match. I just want to keep a roof over my head without having to work two jobs. I want my husband close to our kid, always, but I don't want him touching me ever again.