I Can't Anymore.

He isn't here for me to hate anymore. I found him at around 4:30 this morning, dead. He killed himself. So thanks everyone for giving me the opportunity to vent all my problems here, but now that he is gone I feel it only appropriate to leave this group.
katnipkitkat katnipkitkat
41-45, F
4 Responses Dec 2, 2012

I am speechless...I wish you the best that life can offer you now.

omg kat I didnt know til now..Im sorry...I know he was abusive but still it must have been a shock and you grieve the good times

Yes, it was a shock. At that moment of seeing him, just everything bad I ever thought just vanished. Of course there was always be some times, jokes, gags, that were only between us, and I will feel sadness at times when I think that I will never be able to do any of those things again. But with his situation and everything I have thought about and friends I have had long conversations with I have come to terms with it. Unfortunately for him, I think this was inevitable. If I had divorced him he would have done this and I would have even felt more guilty. If I had killed my self, the same. I guess, since he refused to be hospitalized, this was in fact the only other possible outcome. I just not wrote another story about it in the "I am starting a brand new life" or something like that group.

I am glad you are not taking on the blame. Now your life is your own again.

What exactly happened

He put a towel around his neck, hooked it behind him over the doorknob inside the front door, and let his weight lean forward until he was dead.

So sorry it still had to be devastating obviously a depressed and troubled person his own though

Thanks.

Hi, are you serious?

Yes.