My Daily Mantra: I Hate You ____________.

Every day I say either to myself or out loud when I'm alone is: I hate you __________. The blank is where my husband's name is. I am at the point where I am just counting the days/years when my kids are on their own and I can freely speak my mind. I cannot do that now because he has a habit of throwing things in my face (not literally), bringing things up from the past, etc. I keep my mouth shut and work things out in my head and I am ok. I really am over him but I will not do anthing to ruin my children's life.
He is a miserable ***** and just about everything I do I have to second-guess. If it's not done the way he likes it or thinks it should be done then I will hear about it. If I pick out a new restaurant and it sucks then I get blamed. Get the picture? This may sound minor compared to other people's stuff but after years of yelling and crap it kinda makes you just sit there and think: wtf, how did I get from point A to here?
I am not the sappy kind who thinks that love and marriage are something out of a fairy tale.  I am a realist but this is too much reality even for me.  I am lonely, I pity others who get married because of this miserable state I'm in.  I also realize that things change over the years and did not expect things to remain the same.

My husband does good things for me and his kids but it seems that the negative things take away from and obscure the positive things he does. 

Anyway that is small glimpse into my story.
Donnawashere Donnawashere
46-50
2 Responses Dec 14, 2012

I hate my husband as well. I have 2 small children and would love a 3rd. I would have left years ago but I signed an unfair prenup and I have no way to support myself & children. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life then be with him. I love when he goes to work so I can be alone with my kids all day. I dread when he comes home from work. I try to go to bed before he comes home. My sadness is driving me to be an alcoholic. My husband is kind to everyone around him but me. He is moody Controlling. Judgmental. His way or the high way. Rude. Arrogant. Pompous. Righteous. Unreasonable. selfish. I can't do anything right. I hate my husband. He is turning me into a mean person. I'm starting to hate myself.

I'm sorry to hear that. Have you thought about trying to have the prenup modified? Can you take it to an attorney and have it looked at?

I have not got any good things from my husband.