I Am So Sad

My husband and I have been together going on ten years, but only married for ten months. I should have never married him, but I wanted our kids to have a mommy with the same last name.
He is VERY verbally and emotionally abusive to me and nearly killed me once by headbutting me repeatedly...if I wouldn't have turned my head and let him dislocate my jaw he would have pushed the bridge of my nose into my braincase.(Hadme pinned down). This happened about two years before
we got married.
I hate him. I have for a long time. I cannot seem to get up the courage to leave him though. I am so sad.
whycantileave whycantileave
41-45, F
3 Responses Jan 6, 2013

Hi friend, their are so many women in your shoes right now. The best advice I can offer is if there are kids involved and they decide to tell someone what is happening to you, you will loose your children. If your not safe from his temper neither are the kids. Secondly you need to begin your plan to leave. Don't just leave because you'llo go back. Turn to someone strong a family member, or friend someone supportive. I know this from experience, I made a plan which took a year and a few months. I got a better job, and found a place. I called his boss to ask if they can give him over time so he won't come home right a way. I was able to pack my belongings and leave him a long letter. Everything else was worked out be the courts..... Plan! Plan! Plan!....fyi.. when you are thinking of a ways to exits..it will appear that his behavior is improving. Don't fall for it..He broke the first rule by assaulting you..now its your move....Good luck....

Fear of stepping out of a abusive relationship is what tends to bind those who are in it. From a woman's point of view of which I am just an old fool of a man I understand that women choose to stay in abusive relationships because their self esteem is gone thier self worth has been ******** by the abuser(s) and they learned this from thier family. Perhaps they were abused by a parent or guardian at one time and the fear imposed on them by the abuser controls thier perception of how they view life. They are attracted to abusers based on the idea they present themselves as weak and vulnerable and abusers pick that up real quick and exploit it to their advantage. Many will give all kinds of suggestions to leave and get out but from the abused point of view it is not that easy. The emotional attachment the abused has with the abuser silently hopes they will change or conform to the abused point of view. It never works. Instead they embrace being a victim. So, one could ask what must happen to the abused by the abuser to wake them up? when they are in the hospital all beat up and bruised having a doctor fix them up? Or, when they hurt so much that they attack others for no reason? The same goes for emotional abuse that can't be easily seen. Emotional abuse is much harder to see for nobody sees the internal bruises to one's mind and heart. Overall the abused must make a choice to get out of a dysfunctional relationship before it kills them.
Overall what do I know for I'm just a fool like others giving suggestions but ultimately people will ponder many suggestions but until they walk out the door into the light they will suffer the consquences.

Why is it so hard for us women to findthe courage to leave a man who is no good? I ask my self. Well make a plan in the meantime so when you do decided to do so your ready and prepared. Also counseling and Church will benefitk you, trust me. If your not going find one soon, offer to go with some friends.
Don't be sad, me aswell gets though hang in there. I will pray for u, and u as well pray ask good to help you with strength and wisdom to help u make the right choices. To guide you and help you forgive him- I been there my self ((((hugs)))). God will help you forgive, is not healfor u to be hateful he will get his by the power of the Lord. Trust me, pray for your self, things will get better.