My Husbands Favorite Word...

My husbands favorite word is C***. If complain about his drinking or drug uses, it's not that he has a problem but because I am a c***. He uses it now that "stupid b****" no longer hurts as much and he no longer get the reaction he wants.

He whispers these to me when the kids are around and calls me a horrible mother when I get mad and react.

I hate him so much. When he calls me a c***, I can not think I just want to hurt him. I want to hurt him as much as he has hurt me... it never works and I always feel worse.

We are not the couple that you are probable picturing, he has worked very hard building a successful business with me right at his side. But the business is stressful and has taken it's tole. We have contract which are seasonal and when he is not working he drinks daily and gets high some days before 8am. I hate it. I am left with all the responsibility of the running the house hold, paying all the bills, cooking and cleaning, caring for our kids, as well as the paperwork of the business. Which I do not want to do and am not really qualified to do. But he refuses to file his receipts in any way that the bookkeeper will take them.. so I have to do it (and it's really hard not to resent him when I see he has blown $700 in one day at Hooters, the strippers and casino while out of town).

I just want out, I have no hope for a future together or love in my heart for him. If he had life insurance I think I would wish him dead. But right now every cent I have is in the business so I will keeping going on and next time he calls me a c*** I will just smile because I know it is one time closer to never hearing it again.
CreeksideMum CreeksideMum
2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

add me please thank you

I like how you turned it around at the end. I hope things change soon for you.