I Hate Myself For Allowing The Idiot I Married To Do This To Me

I started dating my now husband at 15. We have now been together for 10 years and married for 5. When we got married i moved out of town away from my entire family and everything I know so that he could see and spend time with my daughter and i. Hes in the military. BIGGEST mistake of my life. Now he thinks he owns me or I owe him so much because " he shared everything with me and took care of our family" which he did do for about 3 years. Long story short I have been cheated on 4 times that I know about and the cause was because I wasn't cooking and cleaning to his liking. This is the only man I know meaning I have never kissed touched or had sex with another and he has cheated throughout our entire marriage. I want nothing more than for every ounce of love and care for him to be out of me! I beg God everyday to make it leave so that I can completely be over him we've been seperated for months now and I can't think of one reason why I still love or care for him. I feel like I hate him everyday but if I did I would be completely over him! I feel more so like I hate myself because of what I allowed to happen. I never needed him for anything and had I not moved with him I would be much further ahead then what I am even though I'm back at home everything he has done and put me thru feels like a big set back not to mention now he barely helps support my daughter and I got pregnant the by the bastard in July and now we have another child on the way I hate him and myself
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 14, 2013