Liar, Liar, Lawyer, It's All the Same

He had me at hello and all that bullshit.  He told me all these stories about the ex-wife and what a witch she was and all that he did to be a great husband to her.  Don't get me wrong, she is a witch.  But he's just a liar -- or should I say lawyer.

He forgot to mention the mountain of debt he lives under when I purchased a home to live in with him and his destructive little darlings.  The ex-***** lives five blocks away.  And no, she doesn't work and her new husband doesn't work, because they don't have to.

Why?  Because they collect $9000 a month.  That's what the number went down to, from $10,000 a month after she married the loser.  God forbid we disrupt the kids' lifestyles or make the ***** and her husband, SpongeGreg, get a job.  No.

Vacation?  You say I need a vacation?  Well, I can't afford a vacation, since I coughed up $50K to help pay his taxes so he can keep his ex-wife and kids in the style to which they have become accustomed.

Kids?  Oh, yeah, that.  Well, that was a lie, too.  We're not adopting any kids of our own.  Just a covenient lie to get me to the land of high taxes and Stepford *******.

So I'm off for the day.  The first day off I've had off in months.  And the only thing that comes to mind, other than visiting my mother when she gets here from out of town, is suicide.  Just a gun to the head.

He's a liar.  I can't stand the sight of him.  His voice makes me want to puke.  And after all he's lied about, he wants to know where his ******* sex life has gone?

Anyone listening who?

UnaBombersWife UnaBombersWife
41-45, F
31 Responses May 24, 2007

Why for heavens sake are you still with him? It sounds as though his x and himself evidently have a knack for living off of someone else. Hopefully you can prove you bought the house and that he is not entitled to any more of you treasures. I would suggest you load up anything of value and claim you sold it until you get him out of your home. Fortunately you will have learned a painful lesson and it is not necessary to repeat. Get him gone now and regain your freedom and your independence.....bc

This is a good lesson in what to avoid when marrying someone who's been married before. Anyone who continually blames their ex for everything that went wrong. Once upon a time they loved them enough to marry them - so unless they're trying to tell you they're bad at responding to the needs of another, are poor judges of character, or are advertising that they expect you to be responsible all by yourself for the progress of the marriage - in which case why are they marrying YOU?

So most of those who posted here may have moved on and forward with their lives. I hope you have and are dancing in the streets - free of dead weight and their debt. I just paid the raibter yesterday. Will file and begin to long haul from married to divorce. While I have no regrets about the divorce - other then why didn't I file 10 years earlier, I am still so angry about the money I've lost and will never see again. I live in the wrist state for women - money and divorce!!! When this is all over he gets to walk away with his 6 figure salary, and after over 20 years of marriage, I get a whopping 4 years of such low support I would laugh if I didn't have a child to support. Oh, and I'm loosing my home. So I get 4 years - to his 20 something, to try and build up my career. Sure that's fair. His family is worth a fortune - but he's too scared to even ask them to lend the money we need to find up ant damages to sell the house fast. Funny - he never had any issues when we were outright taking the money from my generous family. What makes me so furious is I must find a decent place for my child to live!!!! I have to feed him, cloth him, all on nothing! This state just hates women! One state over and I'd be looking at alimony for life. Why hasn't the feminist moment addressed this issues??? It's central to all women - we are the ones who have the children - so in most ceases raise the children. Why is not one fighting for national reforms on the laws that allow one state to give us nothing and another a life time of pay back? In this state - even my wedding rung is a joint piece of property! Time to pawn that fast!

One of the many things we have in common on this site.<br />
1. Husband's are liars<br />
2. They hide debt - and you end up paying it<br />
3. They are usually drunks - maybe not when you married - but they are now! <br />
4. Getting out is not easy!!!! <br />
5. Would love if a bus accidentally took him out on his commute. <br />
6. Though they treat us like **** - don't want us to go - in fact how dare we even think of leaving the swell guy they imagine themselves to be. <br />
7. Stay or face poverty???? I have to say, if it were not for my child - poverty woukd be fine! Anything is better then life with a crazy drunk who thinks he's a victim. <br />
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WWIII today - because I tried again to discuss divorce. Looks like I'll be doing all the work on getting that accomplished too. Tired of hating - just want to move onto peace - and still manage a little roof over my head. A bonus would be never seeing him again (the bus) but will settle for never living under the same roof.

Well, I don't remember when I last posted so I don't know how up to date you all are. I'm in month 39 of my divorce, having spent 27 months married to Liar Liar Lawyer. It's been devastating and I am without good news to report, other than to say this: The first time you catch someone in a whopper lie, walk away. There will be more lies to follow. As things began to unravel, my husband told me that I was in love with a fiction. I was, the one he created when we were dating, the attentive, loving man who was my friend, my confidante, my lover. We loved all the same things. . .only because he picked my brain and crafted a suitor that fit to a tee. He was, indeed, a real fiction. I am happy to say I am no longer in love with that fiction, and the massive devastation to my life, my emotions, my career and my finances is irreparable.<br />
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To all women who read this, think long and hard when you catch a man lying. Unless he lied to fake you out on your surprise party, a lie is a lie and it's a sign of a much deeper pathology. Spread the news to the younger women around you. Make them read these posts. Tell them your story -- what works and doesn't work, what's acceptable and not acceptable.<br />
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In the end, his lies lead me down a path that was devastating when I learned that he had a sexual addiction and was sleeping with hookers; that he had a spending problem beyond my wildest nightmares; that his whole life was built on a pile of lies. In the legal industry, there is a high tolerance for lying and deceit, so he remains untouchable. <br />
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I hope many read this story so they are not driven to the brink of financial, emotion and psychological devastation. For me, my life is forever changed.

Any advice on getting a lawyer??? I get the irony - as you are trying to unload one. But my sister's divorce is taking even longer then yours - while the lawyers bleed her few asessts dry. How do I prove in court my SOB did not provide a penny for 3 years for child - and does it even matter to the court/judge? What can you do to get a fair deal in court - when the legal system is slanted to favor men? Hell - the whole economi - political system is slanted to men. How do you "win" or at least not come out with nothing, in a fixed system?

One commenter (embryo) said: take off the emotional blinders you guys have when you are, "in love" and take a look at the shitbag you are about to financially tie to your hip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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My response to that was immediately thinking marriage is all about money and it creates all sorts of problems... Better to NOT marry at all! LOL

Run like hell!

Wow - I totally sympathize. I paid off the mortage on our house (depleting my children's college funds to do so), with the promise that we'd replentish their funds over the course of our marriage. I also paid his ex-wife $10,000 from my inheritance money for court ordered child medical expenses. Then our marriage deteriorated to the point of me walking out, at which time the ******* ******* locked me out of our checking acccount, and took my money, checks and ATM card from my purse. The free loader kept his three spoiled rotten children in MY house, while I lived in an apt for 6 months. I decided to move back, since I was losing $1000/month and he was living in MY house. Now he isn't paying any of the promised mortage, and is not repaying me for the $10,000. I don't know how he spins these things to be able to live with himself...except that he is entirely self-centered, and everything is about him. I can not have a bad day, feel tired or ask him to help me with any of my problems. But for the last five years, I have been dealing with all of his family issues. I have ruined my life, and unfortuneately hurt my children by marrying this *******. I just honestly which he died today. I know that he would be relentless in a divorce, because that is how he has been with his x-wife - he won't do anything for his children without a court order. I just need to find a way to endure my life with this ******* *******.

choose to be the victor and not the victim. A bit of quiet planning and focus can change your circumstances.

wow except that my soon to be ex isn't a lawyer this sounds like my hubby. his forst wife didn't understand him wouldn't have sex with him. after 10 years of marriage he is crying on someone elses shoulder. mind i made him get his divorce before i touched him. guess he couldn't wait this time and she didn't care. she'll learn soon enough that an alchoholic is not the good "farther figure" she was looking for for her 9 year old kid. it's funny how good "christian/catholic" girls like she claims to be forget that when they think a sugar daddy is coming. not this time chica i'm going for the jugular and i already have a tight hold on it.

I can really relate to the lawyer, liar part. Mine husband has a great ability to hood wink everyone he meets. He plays serious mind games with people and lives a life of lies...and he is a judge!!! believe it, I guess he heard about how to do this during his many years in court. He is a master manipulator. I am a professional woman who thought she was a good judge of character. Boy I sure blew this one. He has run the gamut of sleezy underhanded activities. He is very smart and able to live right on the edge and get away with it. I have made my own life with lots of very good friends and am busy etc. I am planning to get out of this hell hole as soon as I can. If nothing else, I am a survivor. Good luck to you in your future.

Totally with you on the debt part. He's out drinking now while I spend my usual Friday night alone and upset

Leave!!!!!! No amount of money is worth the misery you face when you wake up every day to this man. The money you support him with will only increase....cut your losses before they take over your life and you end up just like them.

OMG! I'm so sorry for you!<br />
I also hate mine, right now, he is at the club, when I'm here crying myself to death and my kids are sleeping...<br />
Sad is that all my family leaves in Brazil, I have nobody here and left everything behind to marry "the love of my life"<br />
After that, I also found his huuuge debt, his monthly affairs and tons and tons of ****...<br />
To make my situation even worst, he doesn't let me leave, threating me to take my kids...<br />
He is a loser liar disgusting pig!<br />
I hope he burn in Hell!<br />
Seriously, I never tough could say something like that about nobody,but I truly HATE MY HUSBAND TOO!

I love how men are complete idiots and you obviously cant stand to even look at them and they expect you want to have sex with them. lol my husband cries about why we dont have sex too. i blame it on just having a baby a month ago.. gotta think of a new excuse now

i hate ex's. what an inconvenience and annoyance they are.

At least you can go shopping to get away from the *****. Go buy a nice coach bag, hand him the bill. He is going to fork over 9,000 to the ex every month, then why don't you deserve 9,000 per month to do what you want with? It is only fair. He can work a little overtime.

All I can say, is well all these comments make me feel pretty good about myself. I am not quite the dickhead husband I thought I was. And ladies, take off the emotional blinders you guys have when you are, "in love" and take a look at the shitbag you are about to financially tie to your hip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I too KNOW what it is like to be deluded (hency my name). Eventually I will share my story but I have tried to type it out and every single time I start to get so angry I want to throw my computer at his lazy face.

I hear you loud and clear! Now his children are asking for large sums for college expences. Oh I might add that just before they graduated HS she took him back to court asking to increase his child support. Well guess what they lived with us but he didn't want to risk having to deal with her so he never took her to court to end the support! So we raised them all the while paying her child support. She is on her third marriage and with each have spawned children to cover the cost for her not to have to work! <br />
Sorry next sucker! Oh I forgot all the while she would get credit cards in his name and never make payments! We had to pay off about 15 credit cards when we purchased our home! She distroyed his credit and mine as well! <br />
He refuses to deal with her and gets all flustered when I try to make him to hold her accountable. When come to our sex life there is none. It's like living in the same house with a roomate you can't stand!<br />
I and I forgot to mention I'm now disabled and it's too hard for him to handle. I feel like slapping him as hard as I can or taking the largest ob<x>ject I can find to hit him over the head with and say how'd you like that!

I feel for you.

Why did he ever divorce his ex-wife? They were two peas in a pod. Plus it would be cheaper. He is a bastard. Leave him. No one deserves that.

Why did he ever divorce his ex-wife? They were two peas in a pod. Plus it would be cheaper. He is a bastard. Leave him. No one deserves that.

I hate my husband's spending habits. We both work full time jobs, he actually makes more than I do. The problem is, he ****** all of his $ away on stupid stuff, and that leaves me to pay all of the bills. When I ask him where all of his $ went, he never has a good explanation. He says, "it just goes." Well, that's not good enough. I'm sure he gives $ to his deadbeat brother, who is a grown man(term used loosely) and NOT our responsibility! We have kids to support, so that's where his $ should be going. That idiot blew through $400.00 last weekend! He couldn't remember what he spent it on. His selective amnesia kicking in, again! I'm so pissed! I want to punch him. HARD! I yelled at him this morning before work, and he said he'd stop being so careless. That remains to be seen. As for his stupid brother, he can go out and get a job, like everyone else, if he needs money so damn bad! Screw him! He is not our child! From now on, I'm not paying ALL of the bills anymore. When he starts getting late notices in the mail, maybe he'll wake up. Don't even get me started on his ex-wife & her little mini-me's! That's a whole nother thorn in my ***!

There needs to be a law against fraudulent husbands! Mine claimed he knew how to cook, clean, repair..etc..etc... 5 years later, he doesn't do a damn thing. I work more make more.. I cook, clean.. in school.. take care of two kids. He tries..but, I really don't think he has it in him.

I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from, because my husband spun a similar tale about both his ex-wives and how screwed up they both were. And they were. But after seven years of marriage and a bunch of lies and cover-ups and a lot of **** going down I never would have believe was possible, I see all the stories he told about his exes in a different light. He always tells a tale to make himself come out looking good, and I start to wonder what really happened. If you don't have kids with this douche-bag, then leave. I have a child with my husband, and they are very bonded, despite my husband keeping himself at a distance from everyone around him. Luckily four-year olds accept certain things that WIVES do not, so my son take him as he is, what else can he do? The idea of taking my child from his father makes me physically ill even though I fantasize about leaving daily.

i hate that men just say what we want to hear at times. i would much much much prefer the truth to a pretty but false picture.

I have a similar story. My husband has a child with an ex-girlfriend. He paid all their debts and their home loan after he left her. She sat on her *** while I worked 2 jobs - morning till night, and did so until I was 7.5 months pregnant with my second baby. I was so exhausted I didn't think I could go on. If I were given one wish I would go back in time to my younger self and slap her in the face and tell her to wake up! My advice to you is get out. Don't worry about how much you have invested in this relationship just get out and be happy. It will be the hardest thing you have to do but my advice is LEAVE now!

Get out or get someone to take care of the that however you need.

I love the commentary, I feel for you though.<br />
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I have to ask though wasn't there any prelude to what was to be? I have to believe there was some warning signs. If not that seems like allot to hide from a person. I would cut your losses and run away. As fast and as far as you possibly can.

OMG! what a f'g pr!ck! i'm thoroughly and completely beside myself regarding his decption. WtF was he thinking would happen when the person he promised to love, honor and cherish uncovered all his ... sh!t? ... for lack of a better word ... how long have you been married? was he lookin' for a woman to support him for a change? he's a LAWYER! why the he!! can't he get his alimony/childsupport decreased? regardless of his income, the woman is remarried - she and her husband are both able bodied and capable of supporting themselves i assume. what moochers! all i got to say is KARMA is gonna roll over your husband like a freight train - make sure when it does you have a good life insurance policy on him cuz it could cause him to seriously aneurism or something ... eeek :-| my best to ya on this one ... WHOA!