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I Guess I Don'T Hate Him

I'm not even going to go through full lengths to hid the fact that I am writing about him. Even though we use a shared computer he would not care enough to go through the history just to see what i'm looking at when I'm home. I am a stay at home mother of 1 and pregnant with my 2nd child. My husband works full time and makes 50,000.00 a year. I hate being a stay at home mother with no income. I feel like my whole life is dictated by what he says and how he thinks it should be. While he does let me manage the finances ( only because he has finally proven to himself that paying the regular monthly bills is a difficult task for him) I have no control of anything else. My opinion is not even valued by him at all. I feel that he makes my like hard due to the fact that he never listens to me and never takes my opinion into consideration. For example I noticed the battery light coming on in the car about a month and a half ago. I told my husband that we need a new battery. He dismissed me and said No it's fine. About a month later the muffler fell off the car ( cheap husband hog tied it up) and the glow plug light was blinking. I told him he needs to service the only mode of transportation that we have asap so we can continue on with our daily lives. Well of course he did not listen to me and payday came and gone and the car broke down! I cannot go to the grocery store or see my mother who is in the hospital an hour away. I also had to catch the bus to my prenatal appointment and that was very uncomfortable. He will not let me work cause he wants his children at home with their mother on top of that he feels like daycare is to expensive but my 2 year old is wild and I feel he would enjoy ( as would I ) 1 day a week daycare for maximum of 4 hours. I also want to decorate our home but my husband wants second hand furniture. He wants second hand everything. While it's great to bargain shop I also think it's okay to splurge on that one item that makes you feel good and makes you happy. Ultimately I feel like my husband is weighing down my life buy now allowing me to work. I feel like I need to start saving for the things I want. He controls even my underwear before we got together I really loved to by my panties at Soma boutique but he insist on undies from Target or Kmart. One time I told my husband I needed a new bra so he proceeded to call his mother who took me to BIG LOTS to bug undergarments. Oh yeah he also bought my engagement ring from K mart. This morning I needed supplies because I knew i would be home with the baby for 12 hours. I did not have enough time to go to the store so he wanted to me give his brother 60 dollars to go to the store for me. My brother in law steals so much they should cut his hands off. I have no faith in him. This stole shoes from his 11 year old nephew and put them on his feet and wore them. The bum is currently sporting the stolen tennis shoes to this day. My husbands gets mad at me because I don't want to give this kleptomania brother money for him to steal. I just feel like this man does not value me and I wonder what it would be like after all these years to be with someone who really appreciated me. Thanks for listening.
Qmomma206 Qmomma206 26-30 3 Responses Feb 2, 2013

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I agree with Burslf about treating you badly. A marriage is a unity between two people. Therefore your thoughts and perceptions come first. The theif of a brother makes me facisously laugh for I have a manipulative SIL.....she has wheezled a lot of money out of my husband in the past thankfully that has stopped. I can only imagine it is difficult to depend on someone like you have to him because the kids are small and having another. Maybe when your children get bigger you can insist on working so at least you don't have to depend on him as much. Is there any chance of talking to him? Good luck

Wow, You really do have it bad. Funny when you feel bad for what you are going through and then to hear what others have to endure somehow makes my world a little less dramatic. You are married., his money is your money and same goes to you. If you were working I'm sure you would share with him. You are treated like a slave and kept hostage in your own home. What would happen if you spent money? Get out of the house, don't you know anyone who can take you out? You need to talk to a friend and you need to have it out with your husband... Who cares if you have too have a huge fight, He doesn't care about you obviously if he treats you like an animal. You need to do it for your kids and yourself most of all... He treats you like crap, he's probably cheating on you too, that's why he's keeping stranded. After your next child you need to reject any sexual needs he wants from you until he gives in... You need to turn this thing around, if you don't take care of this now it could potentially turn into an abuse issue although it sounds like it already is... Get yourself together and get tough!! Don't take his crap any more.

I'm sorry for what you are going through, but I must say you made me laugh( which felt good) about your undergarment trip to big lots haha, and how your brother in laws steals so much he should have his hands cut off, that was funny, thanks for the well needed laugh.