Trapped In A MarriageI met my husband 12 years ago in my country. we have been married for 10 and have a 8 year old son. Back then, I thought I loved him but it wasn´t long before I realised I had made a fatal mistake. My husband is unromantic, untidy, greedy and thinks just about himself.
I cook, clean after him, and do all the housework. My husband has never even touched the vacuum cleaner since we started living together. I feel like am a slave in my own home. What I get at the end of the day is´´ I earn the daily bread and your job is here in the house ´´
We havent had sex for the last six months and I dont even desire it. The sex was a 3 minute affair that ended up in a disappointment! I think my husband has kind of sorted himself out and I honestly dont care.
I consider leaving him daily but there is so much at stake. I would not be able to give my son the kind of life he deserves if I left and I dont think I would ever forgive myself if my son ever blamed me for messing up his life. I have been a homemaker all the ten years so my chances out there as a jobless single mum dont look so glossy.
All I have is my son and I basically live for him. On the other hand I feel like my son is to blame coz without him I wouldn´t be trapped here.
We dont even have mutual friends apart from my husbands loser friends who are either divorced or alcoholics. On my part, I haven´t made any friends either because I´m black in a white dominated suburb. The only friends I have are parents from my son´s classmates who just come over to see how we ´´ live´´.
Im so lonely, I fear going back to my country and start all over. I never disclose my problems to anyone for fear of being branded a ´´go-getter´´ which I really am not. So i just sit in this corner at home and cry myself out till I get out of breath. I hate myself and everything around me..... I
lilmush 31-35 2 Responses 1 Feb 4, 2013