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He Ticks Me Off

Would like to know what he's hideing. Can't discuss anything with him always gets defensive about everything. He gets 15-25 emails a day from women, says its nothing and he can't talk to them, cause he don' t have an account. Yet when he is on tablet he will set sideways so I can't see what he's doin. Last night his phone went of due to text. He snatched phone up so fast so I couldn' t see who it was, yet I'm not allowed to ask him who was that, he gets mad. He makes me crazy! Am I worrying for nothing? We've been together 25 yrs are we just tired of each other? He has lied on his profile and said hes single. Really, what does that say? Asked him about it, his reply don' t you have a house to clean. Why do I bother? Sick to death of feeling like a roomate and not his mate.
tinkerbell2067 tinkerbell2067 41-45, F 7 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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I think you have your answers..... any man who get 25 emails from other women and plays single..... must go!!! And hun if you feel like a roomate the love has gone long ago!! He get mad and defensive, because he knows that's the only way he will keep you off his back and give him an excuse to continue doing what he is doing! It works every time!! A man who loves you takes time to tell you , show you, and share everything with you.....not hide and make you feel you are wrong! You know in your heart what you need to do...... good luck to you <3

I definitely don't think you're worrying for nothing. Red flags all over the place- (hiding tablet, multiple emails from unknown females, stating that he's single...)

If he is having interactions with females, interactions which he feels the need to hide from you, that says a lot. He is hiding this from you for a reason. The mere fact that he put 'single' on his profile should be enough to worry. I can bet that his correspondence with them is sexual in nature.

If he refuses to listen to or talk to you about it, maybe you could write down your concerns and questions about his actions and hand it to him to read on his own. If he still refuses to address the issue with you then I think that gives you more concrete reason to see that he is being deceitful.

I know that you may want to give him the benefit of the doubt and sometimes we go into denial about things but it seems clear to me that he is having inappropriate relationships with these women. I think it might help if you read back what you wrote in your story and read it as if it was written by someone else, then you'll see how obvious what he is doing is.

I find it funny in my case because it doesn't bother me if he wants to talk to other women but it is ridiculous and sad that he feels like he has to make up some bull **** to tell me so that he doesn't have to actually have a conversation with me

I think it must feel lonely and even paranoid like he has no one to trust

I understand defensive and the "do not have an account". Yet when he is on the laptop he can spend hours? He Makes me Crazy. We have been together 17 years. Sick to death of feeling like his wife and not his friend.

This will hard but I think you need to start going out. If you have any friends meet up with them somewhere and if you don't then get out and try meeting people. You need to be around others besides him and you need to have FUN! I know that probably sounds impossible but it isn't, There is a website called meetup.com and it gives locations for all different kinds of get togethers. Even if you are shy, it won't kill you and it might make him curious when you are going places without him and hopefully you will make some friends, If you don;t want to do that then just go for a drive or a walk at the park or mall or beach if you live by one, just get out and show him that you can live without him. I'm not telling you to be mean just to do things that might help get your mind off of the neglect he is giving you. Another thing you might consider is volunteering because when we help others that helps ourselves at the same time. Good luck, You can do this.

Crazy response........don't you have a house to clean. Throw his clothes out.

I have been with my husband with my husband for 24 years. We have some issues with intimacy but when ever I ask him about why he is distant he just blows me off like it's no big deal. I have never had to deal with him hiding things from me like what u are talking about. I don't know what I would do. I think that would push me over the edge though honestly. If you don't deal with intimacy issues, I mean like if he still shows you that he loves you and stuff then you can at least have that but if like me you are lonely and u miss your husband and he is communicating with other women then you might need to tell him that he is disrespecting you. I don't know him or you of course but I feel like we r kind of dealing with similar problems, both being in long term relationships. Ask him if he thinks this is worth working on? No one deserves to be disrespected so if he doesn't want to work on your relationship then as scary as it would be you might want to take a break from him. I think about leaving my husband but we have a 16 year old so I will wait until he is in college and I don't know if you have kids or not but that is something to consider. If you really want to find out what is going on then maybe when he is in the shower or asleep or whenever you get the chance to get a hold of his tablet then maybe you could do some investigating on your own and then if you do find out he is talking to other women confront him with that. I just thought I'd put in my two cents but whatever you decide, know that with or without this person in your life you are still you and you can be happy.

I agree with the above as his wife you have a right to know what his activity is especially since he is hiding it from you. He may be going through a mid life stupid thing and the attention gives him something but he needs to pay attention to you

Tablet has a code, and wheen I have tryed discussing anything of importance its you worry to much, everythings fine, he just blows me off.