I Cannot Trust Him At All.
Now, 2 years later I feel like someone stole the optimistic girl I used to be. When I met my husband he seemed like the most perfect man on Earth. Handsome, so incredibly charming, and very stable in his career. It was the Jackpot. Then, we moved in rather quickly (3 months later) our leases were ending at the same time, and well, really, how could I not? Prince charming only comes once. At that time I graduated, and started spending more time around our house, instead of leaving at the crack of dawn for school. That's when I realized that he looked at ****, all the time, every morning. Which was the reason that we could never have morning sex. He always said that he was too busy with work (his works from home). Several times, I asked him to stop because he could never perform in the bedroom anymore. It was especially disheartening because he told me that in order for us to have a relationship he was comfortable with I would have to leave the job I had (when we first met, I had a job that was in the adult field, but was not how we met at all). But, he never stopped, time after time, it would be just sitting there on his screen. Girls, that look the complete opposite of me. He always tells me he would stop. Or that he isn't doing it anymore, but my instincts told me he was. Then I found HUNDREDS of naked pictures, that he made some excuse up for, but I said enough! I want to know the truth, and he said it was a long time ago and he didn't know it was there anymore. But, the file was sitting there. He always makes me feel like I am the crazy one. On my birthday, he messaged his ex, who is a model (blonde hair, blue eyes, grossly skinny.) I let it go. But it hurt, and later his employee was in the side office, and my husband had his door closed, because he was looking at ****. This was the last time anything happened, and it was last month. I still think he is looking at it, our romance is passionless, he is like a robot in bed. He even told me that he was deleting specific history pages, to make it look like he wasn't doing anything. It's a month later, now I haven't seen anything, but I still can't trust him. I just hope he slips up one more time, so I can just get out of this mess without feeling like I didn't try.