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I Hate My Husband

How Do I Get Out Of This?

By: asiram24
Written on February 21st, 2013
I have been married for 7 1/2 years. My husband has been like a leach sucking all the life out of me. My life was not meant to be like this. I am ambitious and outgoing, but he is just a looser.
I have put up with affairs that he showed no remorse for but felt that I had to stay because of my 2 kids. I wish I could walk out tomorrow and take my kids with me but we have so much combined debt and a house together. My main concern is my kids, providing for them on my own would be tough. Also I am going back into full time education to fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor.
I currently have a good job and make more money than him but I never throw it in his face I always let him make the decisions. He has no ambition to improve his situation. He is never willing to follow through any plan I come up with to sort out our debts, his attitude to life is 'I cant' where as my attitude is 'Nothing is impossible'.
With so much debt, I feel stuck to this idiot for the un-for-see-able future. I hate him and hate the life I am currently living. I feel trapped.
By: asiram24
Age: 31-35
319 people have read this story

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4 responses
  • HJ30
    HJ30

    Have you tried marital counseling? If not, I will let you know how ours goes.

    Feb 25
    1 like
  • HJ30
    HJ30

    Wow, this sounds exactly like my situation. I have two kids, and tons of debt, and my husband doesn't work. He does take good care of the kids and helps out around the house, but i feel like he should be doing more. I feel like on my days off, i have to clean and it takes away my time with the kids. Theres nothing there between us anymore. It comes to the point now that I hate coming home. Every time I see him, I just get in such a bad mood which is not good for our kids. I am so unhappy. We have been together since i was 17. We fought constantly and still do (which some of them got violent and physical where he would be fighting me off) but i stayed with him because of low self esteem. He is also very spiteful. He let out air in one of my tires a few months back so I wouldn't be able to drive my car. There are so many other issues with him that i just want out. Now that im older and confidant about myself I realize now i made a huge mistake by staying with him. The only thing that is holding me back are my kids and our combined debts. If my husband and I would divorce I would have to pay spousal support which I don't think I could afford. I'm also trapped. I've signed us up for counseling as well. We'll see how that goes.

    Feb 25
    2 likes
  • 7yearsin
    7yearsin

    I agree with summersails, but I also understand how difficult it is to get out of a situation where you are tied to a person in more than one way- i.e. children, debts, house. I know what it's like to feel like you are not the person (or living the life) that you were meant to. A plus side is that you have a good job and finances. The debt that you two have together can be sorted out during the divorce. I dream every day of being able to walk away from my marriage and awful husband. I feel that you are a strong person and will come out on top. Best wishes.

    Feb 21
    2 likes
  • summersails
    summersails

    It will always be hard no matter at what point you or he decides to leave. Don't waste more of your time! The man has already had affairs, plural! Start saving some money as a safety net, chase your dream of becoming a doctor, and draw up a solid plan for making you and your childrens life better as well so that their mother doesn't have to be miserable.

    Feb 21
    3 likes