I have to admit, I rushed into this marriage after having a year and a half long distance relationship. We saw each other once every 4-5 weeks, and probably talked everyday but I dont feel like it was enough time to get to know him. A day after our wedding I saw a completley different guy. We were both virgins and I guess my desire to go to the beach on our honeymoon and have sex at night frustrated him because movies had told him we would have sex all day and everyday. I thought the same thing, but sex didnt feel good like I imagined it to be, plus him almost making me feel guilty for not having it and even resorting to insulting me and yelling me had me not wanting to have it even more. Well we still have sex problems. 2 years later and my sex drive has just went down hill. I used to love to make out and hug and I was horny all the time. Not so much anymore. I get turned on still, but not by my husband, I am not sure why. I really try, I cant even hardly kiss him anymore...I really dont know why. BUt anyway, although this is a huge problem and I would like some advice on, the problem that brings me here is something else. Whether because my husband resents me for not having sex with him as much as he wants, or whether its because I have recently become more successful than him and he keeps failing at things he does, he is very negative to me and tries to put me down in little ways. Its possible that it is also his personality, I remember him always being kinda like that, but I have just noticed it alot more lately.
We had these crazy yucky bugs in our house, and yes I was kinda freaking out, I wasnt screaming or crying, but a little paranoid, and I was saying we should definetly call an exterminator or whatever, he looks at me with disgust and says I am so melodramatic. (I know it doesnt seem like a big deal, but he is always like this). Anyway I bring it up today as an example, and say it is offensive, he says no, i say what if I said the same thing about you, he says fine, I give him an example of something you can say he was being melodramatic about, and he says well atleast that was something important....now you see what he just did? he didnt get that, do you guys see it? i mean i dont know if i am just too sensitive, but he just put me down again?
another example, we were talking about babies, and I say my mom always says how we were such good babies, and we didnt cry alot. He says, what happened? I say what you mean? you are not like that anymore...umm I am like i am talking about how I was a good baby, as far as I know i am not a baby anymore. He says I cry alot now, again, lol I cry at sad movies!! then he says I wined and got upset because he didnt buy me a gift for my birthday or our anniversary...I didnt, i did complain a bit that we have only been married for two years and he s already doing that...honestly it is not so weird to me to be a bit upset that my husband of two years doesnt buy me a gift for my birthday or our anniversary.
these are just some examples, and I swear to you it happens every day atleat a few times a day. He knows I am sensitive about my thinning hair, I will be on the phone, and he will start looking through my hair, and inspecting it...wth???
Please someone tell me if i am just being overly sensitve, and if so, I will try not to be, but If these things are really things that should bother me , then tell me. I dont dispise my husband for these things, i despise him for denying it and making me feel even more insane, he always exaggerates my feelings to make me look insane or exagerates situations. like the other day he wanted to talk about our job hunt, and i said i really dont want to talk about it right now because I am already stressing out, he turns around and starts getting really offended and say fine fine, who cares what I want to tlak about, fine I know the rule now, we wont ever talk about this stuff, so next time you try to talk to me about something that involves that stuff, I wont let you!! s
seriously all i said was i am really stressed out and dont want to talk about it right now....like i said maybe it is the sex or the unsuccessful part, but i feel like my lack of desire for him is part of his personality, i really have no respect for him when i think about it, he is very cocky in public, and acts very conceded. with girls he is very flirty and want all attention on him. with me, he is rude and disgusting, but then when i get upset he will get all cute....help people please!