Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

If Every Time He Leaves the House I Wish He'd Get Into An Accident....

would that equate to hatred?

What I feel is pure, unadulterated hatred.  I hate the very fibers of his soul.  I seriously hope that every phone call I get during the day is a call saying he's been in an accident.  I know that's horrible, but I feel it anyway.

I don't even love him a little bit.  I used to get excited when it was time for him to get home.  Now?  I just get knots way down deep in the pit of my stomach.  I hate the thought of kissing him hello.  I try not to.  I hate the thought of him acting like we're a perfect family, knowing that the *** chewing and the name calling isn't all that far off.

I hate him!  I wish he were dead.  This isn't healthy.  We aren't healthy.  Of course, with no access to bank accounts, I have no way to get the hell out of here.  He has me hostage.  If I go, I give up a vehicle, a roof over our heads (I have three children and another on the way), food in our stomachs, etc.  I know that sounds like a lame reason to stay, but seriously.  If I leave and have no where to go, I will lose my children.  I can't let that happen.  They are the only thing that makes me actually smile about this pathetic life.  They give me a reason to wake up.  Without them, I'm certain that I would just lie in bed and die. 

I bet you didn't know that a woman who stays home with three children could sleep all day, huh?  ******* jack ***.  That's one of the worst insults.  He called me a lazy ***** and said all I do is sleep all day!  Give me a break!  He can't keep up with our 16 month old for five minutes, but I do it ALL DAY LONG EVERY DAY!  And I am the only one to change diapers, give baths, etc.  How dare he ******* say that I don't do anything?  Just because things aren't as clean as his OCD *** would like them?  **** him.  Things used to be spotless back when I had more time (IE: less children!).

I wish he were dead.  That's what it boils down to.  He wouldn't be around to **** up my daughters' views in relationships if he were to just die.  I can always hope.  Always....
mommyoffour mommyoffour 31-35, F 115 Responses Jun 19, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

Sometimes I hope my queer, ****- loving man will die soon, as it will save me a **** load of problems.
As it is, I am married to his sorry ***. He can't get it up even tho I'm 12 years and 10s of pounds lighter than most beeYotches my age! Most men his age would LOVE to have me. He's a C0(k$u(ker,,,,he likes men.

Lousy Lying DI(k-$u(kIng Homophobic LIAR.
I hate him.
I hope he dies and leaves me completely free.
******' LIAR.

I hate my abusive husband, too and pray he will die because I KNOW I'd be better off. He has made my life torment for 30 years, and I keep praying for his death because thats the only way out. Unless he kills me. I feel somewhat better knowing I am not the only woman suffering like this. Misery loves company, right. God, I want a life so much, I have been living in this prison 30 years. He won't let me out of the house or take me anywhere--I have not been to Wal-mart or anywhere like that for over 20 years. The last time I was out of the house was in 2010 when he hit me on the head and I had to get it sewed up-20 stitches-at the hospital. I have suffered so much and nobody cares, not even my mom because I had a child out of wedlock 35 years ago and she still holds that against me. My parents disinherited me because of that 35 years ago, and my mom actually told me she hoped I married a man who would beat the crap out of me everyday. Her wish came true, and she actually is happy about it. Oh, God, when is that creep going to die so I can finally live?

All I have got to say to all of you is maybe you can convince your husband to hang himself or maybe u can get some one to accuse him of rape so he goes to jail and gets killed

Like the above poster, I googled I hate my husband and landed here. I hate this SOB with every fibre of my being. He gets drunk then denies it all while I'm watching him DO IT! He gets obnoxious and when I call him on his BS, he calls me a liar. He's an egotistical lunatic and has signs of severe narcissistic personality disorder. He calls me an A-hole, a C*nt, a liar and then flips me off. "F you!". I ask for apologies, he tells me "why? you never do". Which I apologize ALL THE TIME for the tiniest things! He says he doesn't like my "tone" when I answer questions (which I have to answer directly when he asks). If I have a "tone" I have to apologizie. Then I'm asked "What are you sorry for? I don't accept your apology unless you own up to your mistake and apologize correctly". If we start arguing, he will say "you need to make this right....you need to do what is right". He means apologize. Whether anything is my fault or not. He's jealous of my 10 year old son (previous marriage). It's freaking ridiculous. If we argue he will follow me outside and start yelling at the top of his lungs "if you come near me I'm calling the police for assault" when I'm no where near him. He yells in the house "YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL STAY AWAY FROM ME" so my son will hear him. He's f'n crazy. I have to get away from this nutjob. He has ruined my credit, controls all of the money, has set rules for spending, for me, not him, and has made my life a living hell of stress since he walked in it 5 years ago. I need to end it, but he threatens me. To take my dogs (I would be devastated and he knows that), to take my house (I owned it before he came around, but he pays 1/2 mortgage, is NOT on the deed). He threatened me last night "we can end this but you better play nice or I will make things really miserable for you. You have a lot more to lose than I do". This coming from a piece of SH*T that didn't even own a fork when I met him. Had no furniture and was constantly overdrawing his bank account. Which he does to ours now. I could kick my own *** for getting involved with this loser. I need some confidence to get away. He tells me I'm fat, ugly, am full of hatred and incapable of love. I hate him.

A man threatening to take the kids is just dumb. Tell him if he wants to make it a fight, you will still win and he can pay your court fees. It is true in most cases. Even if it isn't true in your case, show him confidence that it is true in your case. Men fear the court system when it comes to divorce and he is trying to scare you away from it. Use his own tactics against him. If he truly is a d-bag, you most likely win freedom for you and your kids. <br />
<br />
Also, think about this: when you stay with a man that treats you like crap, you are teaching your male children that women will put up with abuse and you are teaching your female children that they should put up with this type of abuse. Do you really want your kids to grow up with that message?

I googled "I hate my husband" and this is where I landed. I hate him with a passion. I've been miserably married to him for 5 years now. Like most of you here, the reason that I've stayed is because of our 2 kids. I've been wanting to leave his sorry asss but whats held me back is the guilt and doubt if it will be best for our kids. I know better now. I have put up with so much bullshit from him (i.e. sleeping with prostitutes, spending a chunk of his time and money on golf, always telling me he doesnt have money to buy stuff like his kid's cough medicine and yet goes and spends for his golf game the next day, stays out late without checking in through a call or not even a text, spending a crapload of my own personal savings into his business that never thrived because of his laziness, the list goes on.) I know its wrong but I keep wishing that I would get that phonecall that says that he died in a car accident or got hit by a golf ball in the head. I even dream of slashing his brakes just to get it over with. The only thing that I am grateful for is his ***** that produced my two children. Other than that he is completely worthless to me. I hate him and I want out. My exit plan is already in my head. I just need a bit more time to save some money for a place of my own. Good luck to us husband haters. At least we are not alone, right?

hate my husband too. he wasted all our hard earned money on bad investments....i told him they were bad. he looked after his brothers and sisters that are nothing but takers. now we r living with my parents. He is horrid to them as well. he does not give me a break when am at home. i am the only provider my husband watchers the baby as he is too lazy to get an actual job. he says he wants to dash my son on the foor. I hate him so much.wish for his death so badly

I know exactly how you feel. We have kids to take care of and cannot risk jeopardizing their well-being by moving out. It is really, really hard. I suggest you start storing away cash/gift cards/federal bonds - slowly. Take a night class and do volunteer work to build some working skills and work your way out of there. As bad as things are, you are going to have to be strong for your kids. Your kids will see him for the rat bastard that he is and as sad as the whole situation is right now, you have to build for the future. For your kids and for yourself. There is always hope! Women like us will just have to suffer through the present. Stay out of his way and don't talk to him unless you really, really have to. Be a "father" to your kids since your crappy hubby will not be there for them. It's too bad none of us had a crystal ball to see how our marriage will unfold prior to walking down the isle.

I feel where you all are coming from. I have to say that I too hate my husband, we both have our faults but he has made my life hell. I have stood by him with so many wrongs that he has caused but when it is time for him to stand by me he leaves me to stand alone. There have been days when I wished him dead, when it rains I hope for the worst to fall upon him. I know it's not right but if he would just go away i would be so happy. Like so many he has everything and with children who I love dearly, I would be sad to just pick up and find myself homeless and with less than we have now. I hate knowing that he makes me sick and have to cook and clean for him. I have to look him in the face and pretend that all is well when it is not.

sorry .. this is intended for The Traveler316

I feel the same way sometimes.... It's been getting bad lately. I just to just get a fleeting thought when he'd go on a business trip to the west coast. Now I think about it every freaking day! This stress is doing more to kill me than him, though.<br />
<br />
Heck I know he hates me. In fact he told me he wanted a divorce a couple of months ago (He's Mr. Ultimatum... he's always saying he's going to leave if I don't do something or the other.). This time he said he never loved me. He just married me because I got pregnant over 11 years ago. (I remember telling him back then he doesn't have to ask me to marry him just because he felt he needed to.). <br />
<br />
lol I don't think he got the response he was looking for. I got angry and upset. Then I went upstairs and started to gather my stuff. I started feeling HAPPY... OMG... I could smell the freedom! I might have nothing, but, I would get my name back! (He always makes fun of my "Yankee" relatives that he's never met. **** him.. I'm proud of my Yankee and Kentucky Hillbilly heritage. I want my name back so badly!) <br />
<br />
The next day he texts me and tells me he doesn't want to break up our daughter's family and to please put my stuff back. Notice he never said he took back what he said. Damn it... I should have ran with the feelings I was having and left. <br />
<br />
It's been 11 years of his alcohol, drugs and just plain meanness.. and my depression and stress (I found out recently that my adrenal glands are shot. I) Back when I gave a **** about this marriage he would spend days away with his friends and not say anything to me. I was always alone with our daughter. <br />
<br />
Now I wish he would find friends again and be gone all the time. I would be in HEAVEN! <br />
<br />
I have all these plans on losing weight and leaving the day the scale hits my goal. It's become a major motivator. I want to look good while he watches my backside walk out that ******* door.

I am in the same situation,but i dont want him dead,he says same things to me and didt help me in anything,i wish to have money of my own i dont want to leave him either,but i guess if i start working i will have less time for him and my own money then he cannot say that i sleep all day at home and do nothing.

it's insane but our situation is exactly the same...everythin' except the expecting part which i hope is not true coz i'm late...oh gosh i hope not. <br />
i wish he would die 2. i never knew it would ever come to this but the reason u gave is the exact reason i can't leave. i can't believe somebody else is goin' thru the exact same thing.<br />
wish u luck and hope u find a way out!!

Hi, I am verbally and mentally abused as well. I have been with him for 20 years and we have a daughter who is now 20. Please, please do yourself a favor and GET OUT! I am still with mine, and just now looking into divorce. I have been called half a$$ b$tch, lazy fat a$$ and other things. He drops "F" bombs at me and our daughter like it is a normal thing to do. My very being has been crushed by this person that is supposed to love me. Fear kept me with him for so long. But I swear to you, if you can get out, don't waste your life as I have. Do it for you, do it for your kids. My daughter hates her dad now. All the years of yelling at for us for stupid little things has messed her up too. I seriously wish he was a one night stand.

I know where you are coming from. I am at the point now that since my husband won't even leave the house I wish that I would be the one to get into an accident every time I leave for work.

I actually can identify exactly how you feel. I too hate my husband with every fibre of my being. No-one would understand unless they have been through this torture. I too pray that I will hear the good news that something has happened to him. Yes it sounds very bad, but when you are trapped you can only hope for some way of getting freedom that does not involve you getting directly involved in their demise. I hope one day you get the help or freedom you deserve.

You all can leave- it is possible- no one needs to stay with that level of verbal and psychological abuse.That is what it is. It isnt right.And your children dont need to see it. See a lawyer and find out your options and plan before you do anything- photocopy all the financial papers available without him knowing and make an exit plan.When you're depressed and feeling stuck and powerless its easy to think you can do nothing. But you can.But you all need to get legal advice first then act.You all can do it. I know many who have. And their children are better off because of it.

Wow! This is my life! Everything was great until the very day that I married him...he told me I was embarrassing him not but 20min after we said our "I do's" and it went down hill from there. That was 16yrs ago and I'm still here for some stupid reason. I have sooo many stories over the years that I could probably write a book - all the mean and nasty things he has said to me to belittle me and make me feel like I'm worthless.. I've been called every name in the book - from Psycho to ***** to the "C" word, been told that he made a mistake marrying me and that he nor the kids need me. I tried to get out once, I met someone who happened to be a friend of both of ours and this person saw how absolutely horrible my husband is to me, he said he was unhappy too and we were both going to get out of our nasty marriages....he backed out after his wife found out we were talking and told my husband - **** hit the fan and all the sudden he wanted to go to counseling (something I had asked him to do for years!) It was fine for about 2yrs, but it's right back to the same crap. Now he likes to hold that over my head now too. I actually told him this Friday night that I hated him after he got so drunk by 8pm that he couldn't see straight (normal for him) Told him I hated him with every ounce of my being! He laughed and said "I know, what are you going to do about it" and proceeded to tell me he would never leave - that the house was his and that he would fight me for our 3 kids tooth and nail...Now I feel really stuck! I make more money than he does, and I could easily keep the house and kids, but he refuses to leave period. I hate him more today than I have over the last 16yrs - what did I get myself into and how the hell do I get him out!?! I have gone so many years wondering what I am doing wrong as a person, but I now through talking with my friends and seeing 'happy' couples that what I have is not normal and that I am not the one that is psycho or need 'help' as he tells me regularly. It's him... Again, I could go on and on, but I'm just so sad and glad to know I am not the only one who wished he would just disappear.

I am in the SAME situation! Reading this, i thought you were writing it about me! (but i have 2 kids)....i HATE the ******* i married and have been stuck with for 11 years!!!!!

I feel asthough I am in the same position with two children and my hated husband.<br />
I left my job stupidly to bring up my two - the eldest is now six, and from that time he controlled me through financial security.<br />
He started a business where I lost all of my 30k of savings. - stupid me!<br />
Ive lost my friends because I was never allowed to see them - If I did he would hurl abuse at me for days after.<br />
He never helps with the children, home. He does nothing but his supposed job that takes him out every minute the children are at home.<br />
He started slating me to his family, and even though he has had an affair they are all behind him<br />
Its been eight years I have been with him, and I have despised 6 of them. <br />
To be honest I never loved him from the start. He was believe it or not a really kind, nice friend to begin with until I got with him. Since then all he has wanted to do is destroy me. financially I have nothing, Im now mother to two children ( who I love dearly) and I really cant see any future for me.<br />
I look back on the days when I had my own home, money in the bank, socializing with friends and a job I loved and think If only I had told him then that I didnt need a man in my life.<br />
I didnt get one anyway. He is one lame excuse of a man.

Everytime i have a big fight ... wi wish the same....Honey is not going to happen...just get out of that relationship...He will not die and you will not manage his money.... You will get a job, you can get custody of your kids , child support....dont stay in that miserable marriage anymore

I left my husband and stayed with friends for a couple days and he stopped drinking but now we argue about everything..

My husband is a hateful, horrible man. He has called me a lazy maggot, *****, ****, useless and much much more. It is laughable considering we have four children, one of whom I homeschool. I clean, I cook (he cooks too though to be honest). I work in the evenings and weekend to supplement our income, I am also working towards my Masters degree. I don't have tie to be lazy. I am a well educated woman, I have a wonderful job as a midwife, I have lovely children, I own my own home. Why do I stay with such a bastard? I think I hate him. I have no respect for him. I don't know why I stay. Ths is the first time I have acknowledged these feelings. Who knew you could type the words 'I hate my husband 'into Google and find a website about it.

I too share the same feelings about my husband. I have been married for over 20 years and I feel nothing both hate, resentment, and hate(did I mention that all ready?). We got married when we were 21 and he 22. We have two children (22 and 17). The communication is the worse... it is non existant. The sex is infrequent and routine. He blames me for everything.. just everything. There hasn't been any physical abuse but we say awful things when we are angry. I dont have any feelings for love, respect, and compassion for him. I dont feel sorry for him. I stay because my daughter will be 18 and going to college this year. I think it would be quicker to get this divorce after she turns 18. I can be patient I have for many years I have been asking for a divorce. I think 2011 is going to be my year. I dont believe living with regrets but I now have accumilated many with him. Why didnt I get a divorce sooner? How could I have been so lazy not to clean this mess up years ago. Being complacent has hurt me and made my life a living hell. I too have such frequent dreams of being alone and he just dropping DEAD! <br />
<br />
I have lived with this hate for years... hating the way he walks, dresses, look, facial ex<x>pressions, conversations, the way he eats. I watch him eat and pray he chokes so I can pretend to call 911 and watch this miserable F... DIE! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! Sometimes waiting until my daughter turns 18 seems like an impossible task. This marriage is beyond repair. I know that I am not fooling my daughter by staying and trying to make this a tolerable living situation for her. While I live in this HELL. I pray to GOD that he is in a car accident..... I hate everything about him. <br />
<br />
We moved across the country to try to start over but it did not work. iT IS jANUARY 2011 and my daughter turns 18 in April, so if God doesnt answer my prayer and this miserable S... doesnt kick the bucket I will get that DIVORCE.

oh my god I think we are married to the same exact man. My husband says much worse to me. Much much worse. I hate him . The very look athim I feel disgust. He purpously intagonizes me and walks around with a smirk. He is contolling munipulative. And full of sh!t the list goes on and on. I too have four small children and nowhere to go. I have actually researched homeless shelters that's how fed up I am. I was young and stupid when I met him and very naive. He is ten years my senior and was looking for some ne easy to munipulate. I've caught on. Not as stupid as him but stupid enoug at the time.

I am so sad. I just really hate him. I feel inadequate writing this because so many of you seem to have it worse than me. but i really hate him and I am really hopeless. he has a good job goes to work everytday very early -- "entertains" often in the evening. We have four kids, they are difficult, special needs, and i know he loves them, but i don't believe he loves me. he is very mean to me but not in the way i read here. he is passive aggressive. doesn't hit me or really call me names, but he is VERY mean and very selfish and really wishes he was a bachelor. i even wonder if he is gay. Before we got married we had sex, but it got less and less each year. it was never great, but now if it happens ever it is so not.<br />
<br />
he lies all the time about everything. little things big things. can't ever tel when he's telling the truth. he is very well liked by everyone he knows, very social very fun. but he is mean to me and it is very painful to live in this house.<br />
<br />
i love my life and i would lose it all if i left. i love my house, my social life, our friends, my friends, our children, the money that lets me live this way. i would lose everything. i do not have any family other than his to support me. i would be all alone.<br />
<br />
i think he hates me too. i think he would rather be anywhere else, but he has it pretty good, he comes and goes and travels and does God knows what.<br />
<br />
I just hate him and I am once again hopeless. I have divorced friends with children and they sseem to have it even worse.

I'm in the same situation (mess) or whatever f'd up thing you want to call it. When you have young kids and stay home (while he's at work playing around with other women, texting, and who knows what else, its nearly impossible to leave. What will happen to the kids? These losers are never home and they don't even know the first thing about them. Would their lives possibly be in danger of neglect if you weren't there?? And what about the ****** and losers he would be bringing around after you've seperated?? Would they try to sexually assault your children?? I guess we will just have to endure an unfulfilling life so our kids can have a full one. :(

This is how I feel about my husband. He is always telling me I'm lazy, I stay at home with our daughter and our house is always fairly clean. We decided together when we had our daughter, I would stay at home with her. Now he keeps telling me I'm lazy for staying at home all day and not doing anything!! I clean, I cook, I drive him to school, I take care of our daughter. HOW IS THAT LAZY!?

im so glad to know im not the only one who hates my husband, after almost 3years of marriage a short courtship before that a 30month old baby and another on the way, i just can not stand the man i married.<br />
<br />
there has been one incidence of physical abuse which i reported to the authorites, left for 6weeks we had couples counselling and i went back, the verbal abuse only got worse, he lost his job and moved to his parents, im back with my mom.<br />
<br />
he smokes weed and drinks which always triggers the verbal abuse but hides under church and God when sober, i have been labelled a non supportive wife by his mother who expects me to move in with them and probably do their hause chores.<br />
<br />
on the otherhand im so relieved to be away from him, i feel so empowered and as joyful as i was before i married him, he is very controlling and wants me back, he stalks me and has disrespected my moms home a couple of times under the excuses of loving us and never letting go of his family.<br />
<br />
i plan to leave my moms after i have my baby but im scared of him moving in with me forcefully. i am capable of supporting myself and the kids and he finds no shame in not giving me a penny, that if we need support we move in with them.<br />
<br />
what should i do...... confused mother....<br />
the guilt of depriving the kids of their father etc

My husband is the exact same way. He refuses to help me with our son. He complains and moans and groans. It's emotionally exhausting for me to beg and plead with him to help me. I spend more energy begging him to help me than it would take for me to just do it myself. When he's not working he's sitting on his overweight butt playing his computer games. He calls me lazy when I ask that he help me with our toddler. <br />
<br />
I stay home with our son and I work from home AND I go to college. <br />
<br />
My husband thinks since he works 9 hours a day he does enough and that I need to stop complaining. <br />
<br />
I'm making a plan to save money, get a career when I graduate in 2 years, and leave him once and for all. <br />
<br />
I too am hostage like you. "Our" car is in his name, "our" home is living with his grandparents, I have nothing to call my own except my clothes and books. But I am making a plan to become independent. <br />
<br />
I should have known he was like this. He has a 9 yr old son from his first marriage and he does NOTHING for his kid except pay child support. <br />
<br />
I hope you and I are both able to get out of our hells. Just take one day at a time and work toward making yourself independent so you can leave with your babies.

I have read several comments and found that most of you girls say the financial factor that stops you to step out of your marrige and to leave.....BUT I belive that not this is the main reason of keeping ourselves in the marsh...<br />
In our marrige I am the person having a good job and high salary, fand or many years I pay the mortgage and the bills, I buy the cloths for the children. From financial point of view I am able to grow up my children alone. We live in a flat that is owned just by myself, so in case of a divorce my husband will leave without having any property....So what can I loose by divorcing from him?<br />
I really do not understand myself, I feel I am alone with my " I hate my husband" problem. I can not tell this to my mother or to my friends....<br />
Why am I so coward? How many years do I want to waste?<br />
Write me for this question something.....<br />
Thanks,<br />
madeva

I know how you feel I live the same life. He hit me the first of the year several times. Call's me _itch all the time, fat, lazy all kinds of names. I started to leave but I would lose every thing. My home, truck everything. I have no job and can't find one. We have one child at home the others are married. I just don't know what to do. I pray everyday he dies or I do..I hate my life and him.

You know what, I only have one baby, and I already hate my husband for not understanding me. He thinks I'm soooo lazy to do the house chores. Well, I'm working, and taking care of my baby, with no maid. What does he do ? He blames me all the time. He couldn't even hold our 11 moths old for 5 minutes. Let alone cleaning the dishes. And he feels like he's my hero for putting the bread on our table. Well, guess what, I can do that to. <br />
So I feel you mommyoffour. Salute to you !!!

I had a love marriage...we are indians--and indian girls are told 'worship your hubby- God comes next...but let me admit...i am hurt everyday-- and he doesn;t even realize this...No he is not rude most of the times, but fails to recognize the efforts that I need to put in as a work from home mom-- have 2 kids- 9 years and 2 years old, one understands everything, one doesnt...add to this the uncomfortable presence of his mom, who ensures we dont live peacefully...and we don;t...I dont have right to feel tired, exhausted with work and kids...the moment i m off mood, he too is...he comes home- always tired, so exhausted to listen to my problems or just simple thoughts...play with kids, help them homework, or me with daily chores...he hardly has time and energy, but can go to watch CW games with his friends and never feel tired...<br />
<br />
dont know what to do...im stuck in this relation...

I had a love marriage...we are indians--and indian girls are told 'worship your hubby- God comes next...but let me admit...i am hurt everyday-- and he doesn;t even realize this...No he is not rude most of the times, but fails to recognize the efforts that I need to put in as a work from home mom-- have 2 kids- 9 years and 2 years old, one understands everything, one doesnt...add to this the uncomfortable presence of his mom, who ensures we dont live peacefully...and we don;t...I dont have right to feel tired, exhausted with work and kids...the moment i m off mood, he too is...he comes home- always tired, so exhausted to listen to my problems or just simple thoughts...play with kids, help them homework, or me with daily chores...he hardly has time and energy, but can go to watch CW games with his friends and never feel tired...<br />
<br />
dont know what to do...im stuck in this relation...

I'm in the same situation. So many people are quick to tell you to divorce, apply for food stamps and all will be good. REALLY? <br />
My kids are in the 12 and 11th grade. If I divorce now, there is no way my kids will be able to afford college. I'm trapped!!! I have no money of my own!!! He controls everything!!! I have no where to go AND HE KNOWS IT!!!! He takes full advantage of that fact!!! I wish him dead every day. (At least then, I would have some insurance money coming in!) I have honestly lost my faith in GOD because of this. Prayers haven't worked in the last 20 years. Obviously, GOD isn't listening. GOD is obciously a MAN!!!!!

Honey I feel exactly the same way, it seems like you are writing my story for me ,especially the part with him coming home, I WISH HE NEVER WOULD!

I felt like I was reading my own story...word for word! The only difference being that I am not pregnant. We have 3 children and I stay for the exact same reasons as you. I am a stay home mom and am not on the bank account that has all the money in it. I have my own account and he puts in it what he feels I need. Now, I am being accused of CHEATING!! Yeah...sure, I have time to do that, right?! I am trying to make a plan to get the hell out of here. The main problem being lack of money, and honestly, where the hell would I go?? I know everyone says go to social services, etc...lemme tell you, I have tried to call the domestic violence center in my area TWICE, and both times I was told "you will have to make an appointment for a new client intake"..and been connected to the person to schedule an appointment only to get a VOICE MAIL ANSWER. I have left 2 messages..and no call back. I am not "physically abused"..just emotionally and verbally..I guess that isn't enough for me to get help, huh?? So..here I am miserable and wanting out so badly. But I have not stopped planning..and I will keep planning until I can make it happen. Dont give up..

Reading your story is like I am reading my own. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have 3 children and one on the way. I also am a stay at home and can't leave cause I have no where to go. He calls me names all the time and lies to me constantly. I have been wishing his death for a while myself. I would love to get out cause we have 1 son and it would kill me if he turned out to be like his father. I used to try to make things work, we have been to counseling but it does nothing other than prove my point that I need to divorce him. I feel so alone in this cause all I want is to leave him but I can't. Since he is in the military we move around quite a bit so I don't even have any friends. I always forgive him after we have a large blowout because at least that way he stop mentally abusing me for a few days. When I stay mad he does things to upset me like hide my cell phone or other items. Turn off the cable box so I can't watch t.v. he has even taken it out on the dogs by leaving the front door open so they will run away. I also wish something would happen to him so I could be free one day. I don't know how I ever loved this man. If you ever want to talk I am always available.

Reading your story is like I am reading my own. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have 3 children and one on the way. I also am a stay at home and can't leave cause I have no where to go. He calls me names all the time and lies to me constantly. I have been wishing his death for a while myself. I would love to get out cause we have 1 son and it would kill me if he turned out to be like his father. I used to try to make things work, we have been to counseling but it does nothing other than prove my point that I need to divorce him. I feel so alone in this cause all I want is to leave him but I can't. Since he is in the military we move around quite a bit so I don't even have any friends. I always forgive him after we have a large blowout because at least that way he stop mentally abusing me for a few days. When I stay mad he does things to upset me like hide my cell phone or other items. Turn off the cable box so I can't watch t.v. he has even taken it out on the dogs by leaving the front door open so they will run away. I also wish something would happen to him so I could be free one day. I don't know how I ever loved this man. If you ever want to talk I am always available.

My husband started ignoring me the day our 1st child was born. All of a sudden I was replaced. He started sleeping in the living room at this time because he didn't want the baby to wake him up on during the week. It's been over a year and we still don't sleep together. We are not intimate. I feel like we are just roomates only I truly hate him. Right down to the core. I try so hard to make this work and we are just two very different people. He doesn't respect how hard I work. I work 10-12 hour days at a financial firm and still take classes at University. My husband only works 5 hours for his market and then gets to spend all his time with our child in the afternoons. I am definitely jealous of the time he spends with our daughter. He is obsessed with her and I think its great that he loves our baby so much. The problem is he doesn't act like I exist. It's just him and his daughter and I just pay the other half of bills. When she is sleeping, he stares at her for long periods of time with a smile on his face. I'm sorry, but it just angers me more. I want to be with someone who desires me (like he did in the beginning of our marriage). I hate the fact that our marriage is failing and all I think about is him choking on a piece of food or getting in a bad car accident. I never thought that I could hate so deeply and I don't understand how I could be so in love 2 years ago and it can turn to such resentment. I cry all the time and he doesn't care. I've asked countless times for us to see a marriage therepist and his macho man ego would never do that. He said there is no way he would see a therapist. Even when I tell him our relactionship is at the point of seek help or get a divorce...he tells me well, I'm not seeking help. It just hurts so much. I feel like if I do leave him who am I without him? How will I ever find someone to love me again... I have a child now and becoming a single mother limits your options. More importantly, I always said I don't believe in divorce. It's not fair to the children to come from a broken home. I grew up without a father (passed away when baby) and it was very tough coming from broken home. I always wanted better for my daughter and now don't know if I can give her that.

i feel the same as you!!! you're not alone....my annoying husband is nothing but an immature little ****!! i feel like punching the loser in the face sooooo bad!!! the only reason i'm with him is because he makes too much money and i get to spend it all!!! i have 2 children and if i left him they would pay....i say that because he's so immature and spiteful, he told me he'd take a job making a lot less. omg...i hate him...he makes my skin crawl...and thankfullly i don't have to have sex with the gross pig, he's addicted to **** and masturbates all the time! : P

I am a lawyer and now a judge. Serious! Do not take this sh__ Be sweet as pie. Go see a lawyer they should be able to make him pay all fees and cost. Hide a tape recorder in your bra. Yes it is admissible in court. You are screwing your children up. THey will think this is how women should be treated. You can do it. <br />
<br />
Love From a Kick *** law;yer and judge in Bham

well I realize this is an old post but wow I could have written this word for word about 5 years ago. <br />
<br />
At one point, we had 5 kids in the house, now it's down to 2. I do work but make very little money it's "only" part-time. (the way HE phrases it) I get criticized all the time for one thing or another. I got so sick of him at one point I finally got the courage to get a restraining order against him. At that time I wasn't working so no income- scared out of my mind and knew I can't afford anything... but I couldn't take anymore from him. He begged to take him back, I resisted for a long time but eventually gave in. <br />
There was no physical abuse but constant threats, harassment, blocking doorways, "reminders" of how HE was the only one who worked, etc., etc., etc., it was always something. I would pray something would happen to him and yes, I knew it was wrong to feel that way about anyone, especially my husband! But he changed me from an independent woman to a cowering weak individual... I used to laugh at those women on all the talk shows with those mentally abusive men but I laughed no more after I lived it. I used to think to myself why don't they just leave? I realize it's not so easy.<br />
<br />
I am still with him, but we are legally separated, weird I know.. he tries to put pressure on me to drop the separation, but anytime I put my guard down, he starts up again... so no, I'm not dropping anything. Things have improved somewhat.. but now and then his old raging fool self comes out and it's a day of hell... it always happens when I'm sick, it's almost like "kick me when I'm down", when I'm weak- he insults me in front of the kids, routinely tells me I'm not a good mother and what I "need" to do with or for them - what I do is never enough in his mind... he's just so sad... it started with his mother - threatening her when he was a teenager, then his first wife, and I'm sure other ex's went through it that I didn't know about. <br />
<br />
I didn't spend enough time getting to know him obviously... I lived with him for a year before marriage and never saw this side of him, nice as pie, couldn't do enough for me and the kids... yes, I saw occassional anger, but don't we all get angry sometimes?? Nothing ever seemed out of line, when/if he was angry it seemed justified... but when that anger turned towards me, without cause, it was devastating. No, I'm not perfect, but I'm definitely not a lazy wife or mother, I keep a clean house, make nice meals that HE likes, he has clean clothes, I don't nag him, I don't run around on him, I'm not high maintenance, I don't spend money foolishly, I rarely do something for myself I don't even have friends because I dedicate my time to my family... but it became apparant to me that regardless of what I do or don't do, he'll never be a content man - that's HIS problem, not mine. I am now working part-time, I have a special needs child and he's a handful, but as he gets older I am finding resources to help me with him, and finding a way to build up my hours around him and his schedule ... and as soon as I can get full time comfortably knowing things are in place with my son, I am gone. I won't stay in "HIS" house, I will find my own apartment- anything/anywhere is better than living here with him. Right now we're on opposite shifts so it's rare I actually have to spend time here with him, but there is one day a week that I dread with a passion where we're all together... there is sure to be yelling by him at me or one of the kids, he's got this horrible self-righteous attitude and he's really a moron. I used to feel bad for him because he was SO sweet but really doesn't have a clue, like he's lacking common sense, but for whatever reason at one time it was endearing to me. <br />
<br />
Someone asked me one time that you know you love someone depending on how the following question is answered "if I won the lottery tomorrow, enough to buy a home, car, and support myself and my children without worry, would I stay in the marriage?".. the definite answer is HELL NO. <br />
<br />
To me it's not all about money, but it would be nice to earn a living to at least pay the bills- I have never asked for more than that. If for some reason I can't build up my hours, then I will seek out public housing I don't care as long as my kids are safe. <br />
<br />
Please update us on your situation! And it's nice to know I'm not alone.

Just curious... Is there any chance that the husbands may be right? That a wife may just be lazy? I know there is a HUGE misconception out there that all SAHM's sit in front of the TV and eat bon-bons. This, of course is not even close to true, with what a SAHM does in a day. But seriously, I just posted to another person on this forum about MY experience with my wife. I KNOW she has a lot to handle in a day. And I have given her soooooo much slack over our ten year marriage that it's not even funny. But I have been told by OTHER WOMEN that my wife is a lazy ***, for as little as she gets done in a day. If she would put as much time into housekeeping as she does playing mind games with me, her VERY HELPFUL husband who does all the diaper changes once home, and also cooks and cleans a good bit too, then our house would be in great shape. I don't know... I know we have four kids age 8 and under, but I also know she was untidy before we got married and she always promised me it would get better when this, or better when that. You get the picture.....

Silvertears is right, but sometimes it takes awhile to get an apartment but if you have children,it might be faster. There are shelters and the locations are not disclosed to anyone. Look in your local directory ,call the operator or maybe social services will give you a number.

hello everyone<br />
I feel the same, when he makes me angry i think i want him dead and then i feel bad for thinking that.<br />
We have a child too, i do it all, he doesnt work, sleeps till midday, plays video games, etc<br />
He has kicked me out many times and then begged to come back, now when Im finally out of my own money he tells me to go and that he doesnt want to support me now.<br />
Its so sad, women are trapped with *** holes because we have children to stay home with and cant work, i will work as soon as my child goes to day care, at the moment i dont know what will happen anymore. I feel sick and depressed and just simply want to be HAPPY and appreciated for the nice woman i am.<br />
Good luck to everyone.

I have similar feelings and can identify with the majority here. Why do we have to put up with so much crap? I have been saving for months now to make my great escape and I'm getting no where fast, I take a couple of pound here, there and everywhere, but at this rate the kids be left home before me!!!! I hate him!! I just keep thinking what a waste of life, I have begged for him to go, but then why should he, who would he have to control and abuse. I keep weighing up the pros and cons of going to a women's Aid and really its better staying where I am. Firstly, he knows where they all are, secondly the kids schools no where near them and they don't want to move schools....**** I really have had enough. We don't sleep together, I try my utmost to avoid him, all he does is go on about his own country, but yet when I say go to it he wont!!! Why oh why can I not have peace, is it too much to ask for?????

i am in a same situation..i hate my husband from the bottom of my heart..if i think seriously..and what i really wish that he should be dead..so that my life is free..atleast...i dont have the guts to end the relationship..coz i know i would be blamed for it..and then i would have no value in the society..thtat son of a ***** is only smart in confronting me..instead making a living for himself..that ******* old bastard he is..neways yeah so i just wish he should be dead..he has hurt me sooo much..both mentally and physically...and the worst part it he is not even thinking that he did something wrong..and that sob (son of a *****..!well which his mother really is!) instead behaves like a girl and tell me things abt it...i think its high time..he should be taught a lesson by nature to realise and value the woman in his life..or else that ******* bastard is free to die..i dont support him emotionally nemore..and physically to he is already acting as if he is 90 plus..and blames me for that...useless in every shpere of life...that what i would like to call my husband as..please ppl pray for me...in this..thx. :)

My husband is bipolar and we fight every week, he's good for a few days and bad for a few. Last summer I didn't speak to him for 3 months....I LOVED IT! a few months ago I moved out for 30 days and he begged me to come back and I did. I have two teenagers who can't stand to see us like this, they want a divorce, I want a divorce my my **** for a husband won't go. I pay all the bills, he works 32 hours a week. He does cook and helps clean provided he's HIGH.....I too have wished for him to die and told him so but I know I really don't want that. I just want my freedom back after 23 years of marriage. the last 15 years being the worst. I have 4 more years left until my youngest graduates from high school and then I am leaving him for good. I really count the days.

It's rather harsh to wish him dead. Instead of wanting harm to come to him, why not just change yourself instead? Create a new life for yourself and stop wishing his was over just so you can feel better. Believe me, I know. I'm in the same depressing situation and feel that if he were out of the picture, my life would be perfect. It won't be. My 16yo daughter can feel the tension and lack of love & respect in this house and wants very little to do with being around either of us. She says it's like walking on eggshells all the time. It makes me sad that this will be the memory of my daughter's home life. Why would I want to wish for something that would devestate my daughter for the rest of her life? That makes me a horrible mother and a pretty miserable person with no self worth.

I'm sorry I just added comment as entertained BY ACCIDENT!!! I saw one and I just wanted to check the jerk that added it.. I thought there are some comments there.. I am really sorry for you but if you hate your husband why do you have four kids with him? I am in a similar situation when my husband tries to control me but already have a plan ;) Take care and please do sth with this ****!

My heart goes out to you and please do not think you are a bad person for thinking and feeling what you do. Abusive marriages without any way out makes a person hate them.

AS A WOMAN YOU GOT TO HAVE GAME!!!! we all have that in the inner mind... but some woman already got lazy and forgot about it... but i want you to go into yourself and bring that certain something out again... play the princess...be the proud woman... be strong... show the man that you only need his muscle strength... show him that he needs to romance you if he wants something nice in return... SHOW HIM THAT HE IS THE LUCKY ONE TO BE WITH YOU and not the other way around... stop being so depressed... be a happy person... enjoy life again and get positive about it... and get back on track with your dreams and make them to your goals... a person is automatically not as depress anymore when there is a goal to fallow... so get back on track girls...

crazy....<br />
<br />
dude... im so happy that my husband is a fitness freak and so do i... dont want to be left behind got to keep up with the monster!!! he just makes me to a better person somehow i like to say sometimes... if he doesn't has these schizophrenic moments...anyways...i would never let a man roll over me like that hell no! i got values that he loves about me i am a verry proud woman so was my mother so i am now...so does teaches me my culture...and he knows he cant f...k with me in that point...i am always speaking out my mind and always tell him when there is something that bothers me but i also tell him nice things when i feel that he is down to build him up again...but i never give him the feeling that i worth less than him... **** that is the art of marriage its a type of a game... woman should always have their own projects running hobbies or so... so the guy miss her attention and does something for it the game never stop especially not during the marriage... never forget that girls! for those who have a miserable life with husband already...than you should move out NOW! give yourself the chance to start a new life...it is never to late!

hi <br />
it ws really sad i can really feel your pain as my life is like yours only i m @ initial level bt i know in some years it will b like that ,i ask him,plead himto divorce me bt he won t.he is a creep who cany speak for himself let for me or my child,his parents,his brothers scolds him ,insults him like anything but it doesnt bother him.he has very low selfesteem even his peon insult him bt he wnt reply,never pay any bills on time only when i repeatedly remind,remind ,remind he does.never plans anything actually he doesnt have a brain sometimes i feel he should b sent to a mental hospital.<br />
he weighs 100 kgs n i really dnt like having sex with him for wwhich he always complains and says that all our problems are due to this (as m only 25 he feels that me nt willing to ve sex is a symptom of me being ill in some way )but what can i do he nvr cares for my pleasure and satisfaction,when he lies on me i will as if i m buried alive he is so fat that i suffocate,<br />
I feel like commiting suicide bt i ve a 2 yr old son .............................<br />
i feel like m trapped he made ,me leave my job as he felt that our child ws being neglected but even when i ws earning he was keeping my ssalary i nvr spend a penny on myself.<br />
<br />
I M A SLAVE TO HIM..................................

hi <br />
it ws really sad i can really feel your pain as my life is like yours only i m @ initial level bt i know in some years it will b like that ,i ask him,plead himto divorce me bt he won t.he is a creep who cany speak for himself let for me or my child,his parents,his brothers scolds him ,insults him like anything but it doesnt bother him.he has very low selfesteem even his peon insult him bt he wnt reply,never pay any bills on time only when i repeatedly remind,remind ,remind he does.never plans anything actually he doesnt have a brain sometimes i feel he should b sent to a mental hospital.<br />
he weighs 100 kgs n i really dnt like having sex with him for wwhich he always complains and says that all our problems are due to this (as m only 25 he feels that me nt willing to ve sex is a symptom of me being ill in some way )but what can i do he nvr cares for my pleasure and satisfaction,when he lies on me i will as if i m buried alive he is so fat that i suffocate,<br />
I feel like commiting suicide bt i ve a 2 yr old son .............................<br />
i feel like m trapped he made ,me leave my job as he felt that our child ws being neglected but even when i ws earning he was keeping my ssalary i nvr spend a penny on myself.<br />
<br />
I M A SLAVE TO HIM..................................

hi monmonbaby<br />
i'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.all i can tell you is you have to awaken in the morning and be able to smile at or about the person lying next to you.if you can't do that then something needs to be done.since it is a short time since you are both together perhaps your relationship is still malleable enough that you can reform it (the relationship)before it is too late.<br />
you know,not all us guys are so brilliant that we automatically recognize if something is wrong.<br />
tell him that it bothers you when he does'nt do this thing or maybe when does do another.he may<br />
just be unaware.if that is not the case then inform him that there needs to be changes made and and if he refuses to do so then you do,as we say,put shoes on.DO NOT for any reason consider the thought of children.it is not fair to them.my son did that very thing and now that he is divorced<br />
my grandson is confused because alot of his pals at school still have THEIR dads so how come his isn't there.it's not fair to them.i hope you do ok and maybe it's just a bump in the road. be well

hallo everybody,<br />
i am a hairstylist and went to art college in germany and i speack 3 languages fluent and no kids yet coz im willing to watch him a for a little time to see if he worth it!!!!! we just got married 2 months ago and my husband already shows certain signs of beeing a biiiiiiig A-hole sometimes... these little stories of embarrassing, lying, getting aggressive, rudeness and schizophrenic behavior are similar to my stories and i sooo understand you girls but my marriage isnt so bad yet...i just wish to god that i will never come to that point to have a divorce coz i believe in marriage only once in life time i know this is not verry modern coz im a bit old fashion... its hard for me to open up here... but i can say that i have been trough alot already bevore we got married... and the only reason i married him is because im still stuck on the first year i met him... he was like a angel.. but lets see how long it will take me to see that he actually is NOT a angel anymore... im starting to see the monsters real face... lets see who wins this fight... he aint gona make a fool of me... im a even better manipulator... girls wish me good luck on my journey... lets see if i can make him to my slave... i so feel like turning this arround for all of you abused woman.... wish me luck... everybody stay strong and get back your dreams and hopes that will help you to heal your souls and lifes...

to all the girls out there,don't any of you girls out there listen to that anal opening out there that calls himself "keith841"where the hell he got his statistics is a mystery to me.i'm curious as to where he heard that people are flocking to foreign countries.pal,your last encounter with a woman must have been an absolutelyhorrid event because it's almost as though you can view the anger dripping..as well as the in-securityplease,girls do not think that all men out there are like these men in your lives.they are not!!i am a very happily married man for 33yrs. and am still in love with that beautiful girl i married all those years ago.girls,you know your situations better than i so i'm not about to tell you what direction to take.if it's not minded too much i will make a couple of observations.i've a cousin who was in a situation and stayed for the kids.well let me tell you those children were neither blind nor deaf.if you think for a moment that if you remain together that somehow they'll never know or that you'll preserve the family i would think that to be a mis-conception.for you girls out there that get touched at all listen to some of the advice written on these pages.seek help.there is NEVER a moment when this should be tolerated,ever!all you girls who hate that moment in bed because you have to make love to him,know that you are at best,just flucking him.making love is a whole other hemisphere.not all of we men are these pieces of **** that you girls describe here.some of you ladies,like me,are in your mid-50's don't wait any longer.someone mentioned in an e-mail all the organazations that can help.take advantage of them.if not them,then ask a sister or brother.a cousin or friend or neighbor. i am a romanticist at heart and i'm sure there is a love out there for you somewhere.get out of this and go find him. you girls out there that have a man telling you what a lack of worth you have and are told you are useless or not pretty or any other remark,remember this.the primary reason he says that is because of his own insecurity as well as his own lack of self worth.if he brings you down then perhaps he does'nt seem so low.to give you an idea of how other men are i'll you a story.when my wife gave birth to our son,it was hard for her,she'd put on alot of weight,which was fine with me except for what medical ramifications there could be because of it.things like feeling arthritic or developing diabetes because of being over weight because he was big(8lbs.9ozs).it took her 19 hrs. and afterwards when i saw her,her face had swelled up dramaticly as well as a great deal of blood vessels had burst in her face.when i walked in after having seen our son(back when they had a room for the new-borns)and she said "don't look at me i look terrible".i sat down next to her on the bed and told her i could'nt remember a time i'd seen her more beautiful.that's because i loved her.honest girls,we're not all these ***** you girls describe.get away now while you can.good luck to all of you. be well and be true to yourself

To the women brave enough to explain how they feel!<br />
<br />
I adore your couragious responses. My husband (latin) I am european are of two different worlds. I grew up in a loving home in the midwest. You know how that life goes. He grew up a hoodlum from NY moved to Miami as a teen only to become something of the world. We met partying and doing things and acts that we should not have done. Boom. Got prego had baby got married. All for what. I am looking back every day he screams at me in front of my daughter so much so that she now shakes and jumps everytime he gets loud. She is scared when she does something wrong and puts her hands up to protect herself and I don't smack or hit her AT ALL. Leads to me to believe the anger he has towards me is being taken out on my little wonderful angel. This is the first time in my life Im 25 this year that I have not had my own job supporting myself. Everything that everyone here has stated I go through as well. Instead of soaking in my depression of how I got here I am here to say to every powerful strong woman here. There is a way out and GOD... YES GOD Will show us how. DO NOT LET EVIL. DO NOT LET THE DEVIL take you were you do not want to go. Choose eternal life and find your way out. I have been broken down in the last 2 years to think that living with abuse is normal. Even under the laws of the holy bible/Gods kingdom You were not meant to be unhappy... I share a tear and a smile with everyone out there crying or going through something wishing bad things upon your husband. Find a way to inner peace. I'm working on it with you. x0x0

hi mommyoffour<br />
well,i'm gonna look at this from a different angle.first off, let me say that i've no reason to doubt that you're as unhappy as you state to be.before you have a **** fit understand that my wife went to work and i was and remain being a stay at home dad.i am a woodworker and i had my shop set up in our garage and i was'nt established for 2or3 yrs.because i took care of my children as well as our house.so i must say,how someone thinks you can sleep for even a portion of the day is beyond me.when mine first started to go to school was when i was able to stay in my shop all day. i'd open and begin setting up the woods that were being used that day as well as prep when they came home at 2:30,<br />
i essentially shut down and took care of them.a snack,they'd do homework if there was any. i would help them if they needed it.i would'nt give them answers,of course,just help them figuring out the process they needed to apply to find the answer.looking back at my own experience, i find it difficult how someone thinks you could nap let alone sleep all day .if i sound harsh,forgive me,but i call 'em as i see 'em.<br />
another point i'd make is if you are married to this man and you've no awareness of your monies then find a lawyer.the first thing they can do is get a court order to freeze what ever accounts there may be.sit down with pencil and paper and itemize everything you can think of.<br />
of course if you are not married,that will,i'm sure, make things more difficult.don't take any ****.<br />
have you ever gone to a counseler?spoken to anyone?if he won't go,then you do.be well

wow i never knew that anyone else felt this way either. Everyone always seems so happy on the outside. I thought that I was the only one with an a**h*** for a husband. I have told him that i wished he was dead out of anger cause he can be just so darn cruel to me and my children. He is a liar and a cheater an disrespects me every way possible. I was talking with my cousin about him today and explaining to her that i need him right now to get a way out. I need him to get thrrough school. as soon as I have my degree he can kiss my a** goodbye. I am getting a divorce. Right now I have to have tunnel vision. keep my eye on the prize and know that there is a better day coming. Right now it is just so hard, he is like many others on this post have said, a neat freak. Complains when things arent the way he wants them to be, complains about everything that I dont do nothing. But he doesnt do nothing either. I work all day, go to school at night then come home and ge the kids together. He can be so very insulting, there is alot of emotional abuse. and at one time physical abuse. He stays out all night at times and always goes to night clubs. He is always ranting and raving about the smallest things with the kids....we have 5 by the way. The kids are unhappy, I am unhappy....but we only got 2 more years of this hell then maybe we can have the happiness that we so deserve!

Oh honey...i feel your pain somewhat! but there is always a way out. Though it takes so much strength and courage to leave. And it is easier said than done. I am new here and yours is the first story Ive read and it brought tears to my eyes.. please be strong and know there are people out here that are in the same boat and we are willing to help you through this...

Hi! I am so glad you posted that! I wish every day that my husband would get into an accident or have a heart attack. I am in my late 50's and my husband has taken a job on nights. This is an ongoing<br />
thing and had me at my wits end. I have no children at home, but now that he has taken an 11-7 job he expects me to be out of the house all day so he can sleep. How lame is that? I asked him about ear plugs, and he said he should not to have them, as I should be working. I am so fed up wiith his resoning, as we should be enjoying our lives at this point.. I know I shouldn't say anything to feel any different, but every time my husband leaves for work, I wish I could get a call saying he was dead.<br />
Please don't feel guilty about feeling this way, because you are not alone by a long shot.<br />
<br />
Love and Hugs<br />
Deb

I too hope my husband dies. I almost lost my mind putting up with his emotional abuse. We are not weak...we can not afford to me. I need help raising our 6 and 4 year olds. hbs0707 asked, "How does it get to this?" They think of us a property and something that can be broken...like a horse. When you break...they win. Nice game. Get in there and PLAY. It's all a game...play to win.

Dear cwilt,<br />
why are you waiting one minute longer? Go stay at a relatives or friends house and get a lawyer. You will get tons of money and be just fine. Most of all you'll be happy and thats the most important thing! right?

My husband is a real creep too. He is a very religious man- he thinks- yet he is the cruelest person I have ever known. He is making me raise our grandson- for 12 years now against my will. I have had to give up my entire life for this- no friends, nobody to go to lunch with or travel with anymore. My husband makes a very good living- amost 400, 000 a year- do I get anything out of it- heck no- only grief and rude remarks about how unthankful I am. My grandson can lip of to me after i have done all his laundry and cooked his dinner and my husband will not correct him. If I cry because I am hurt- I am self centered. If I cry because he calls me names- I am a psycho and ned meds. All of our friends have given up- and he never really has had any friends anyway- they were husbands of the friends I have made. His daughter loathe him and his family has nothing to do with him either. He thinks he is so much better and puts me down all the time. I just wish he would die so my painful life would end. I do my best to believe there might be better days ahead. We have been married 42 years- hardly any of them happy- but he is God's man he says- and I am the sinner. I keep a very clean house, cook the meals, do all the errands, go to church with him so he looks good in the eyes of the church. I just don't think he sees himself as he really is. He is cold hearted to every one but the spoiled grandson who lives here. He is actually ruining his life being such a poor example of a man. The grandson is failing most of his classes- doesn't lift a finger to do anything- my husband says he is only a kid once and should be able to do what he wants- what a joke. Sometimes I wish when I go to bed I would not wake up. I have no choices in life- I feel like my life was stolen.

Trust me. He hates your guts to and probably wishes you were dead also and feels trapped in a prison. If American women didnt nag and ***** and complain constantly, this wouldnt happen. There are MILLIONS of American men marrying women from Russia,Ukraine,Columbia,china,Taiwan, Phillipines and other countries. They are doing this because they are FED UP with American witch gold diggers. Pre nuptual agreements certainly were not created to protect the woman,LOL, they were created to protect men, because they get burned so bad by the women. The American female superior to men additude and sense of entitlement garbage make American women the WORST possible choice for a wife. Men just want to be loved and they are flocking to other countries by the millions for it. These marriages to foriegn women are FAR more successful and FAR more happier. NEVER again will I trust an American woman. There is now a huge and growing movement to educate and WARN younger American men and hopefully convince them to NOT marry an American woman. Google something like problems with american women, or American women vs foriegn women. You will see tons of web sites about it. One good one is called nomarriage dot com. Yes, there are dirt bag men out there and I dont care about them. Let the American women have them,lol. The good guys who are loving,caring good men need to be educated,warned and guided on how to find true love and happiness in a foriegn woman who will truely love him from her heart.

Trust me. He hates your guts to and probably wishes you were dead also and feels trapped in a prison. If American women didnt nag and ***** and complain constantly, this wouldnt happen. There are MILLIONS of American men marrying women from Russia,Ukraine,Columbia,china,Taiwan, Phillipines and other countries. They are doing this because they are FED UP with American witch gold diggers. Pre nuptual agreements certainly were not created to protect the woman,LOL, they were created to protect men, because they get burned so bad by the women. The American female superior to men additude and sense of entitlement garbage make American women the WORST possible choice for a wife. Men just want to be loved and they are flocking to other countries by the millions for it. These marriages to foriegn women are FAR more successful and FAR more happier. NEVER again will I trust an American woman. There is now a huge and growing movement to educate and WARN younger American men and hopefully convince them to NOT marry an American woman. Google something like problems with american women, or American women vs foriegn women. You will see tons of web sites about it. One good one is called nomarriage dot com. Yes, there are dirt bag men out there and I dont care about them. Let the American women have them,lol. The good guys who are loving,caring good men need to be educated,warned and guided on how to find true love and happiness in a foriegn woman who will truely love him from her heart.

I feel the same way you do! It isn't healthy. I hate it. I am currently in school, so I can have a decent paying job soon, and leave him. I hate waking u next to him/everything about him. I have had the same horrible thoughts you have. It isn't good for us to feel this way about another human being. Go back to school. They offer alot of classes online, and Iam pretty sure you will recieve a nice amount of a pell grant (free money) from the government.God helps them who help themselves!

I feel your pain too! I don't want to hate anybody,but the more we fight and he blows up, the more I do. I just want it to end, my kids love him but he is verbally abusive and explosive , then 30 min. later he's nice to them. I just want to leave him , but financially we are strapped, I hate it! whatever.

Hi ladies,<br />
hope you dont mind a mans thoughts here. I have read all of these responses. Wow. this is crazy. It's a crazy world. The family unit is disinigrating before our eyes! You guys should also read the forum here " I hate my wife" to see the other side of bad marriages. My opinion is this. The law needs to be changed to help stop some of this madness. I think a marriage license needs to be obtained one full year prior to marriage AND a pre marital class must be completed. In the class actual divorce cases should be studied and a clear understanding of family law achieved. The legal,financial and emotional consequences of jumping into marriage too quickly must be understood. Marriage vows that we say to eachother on the marriage day should be compaired to family law. There is absolutely NO resemblance of the two. The fact is that as soon as we say those words and the pastor says, I now pronounce you husband and wife, those words dont apply anymore and family law does. I have been divorced twice, I have four children and my life is destroyed! I would like ask one thing of you ladies in bad marriages. Please please please, do not LIE. Do not lie and run off making false reports to the police,to family,to employers or to courts out of revenge or to make your actions of leaving appear justified. Most of all do NOT lie to the children and say all kinds of bad things about the dad. It's wrong to lie. If you want out, then go. The pain will pass,things will work out in the long run. Please dont lie.

I have a husband that always lies over little things and calls me a liar or challenges me over everything i say. He calls me crazy if I say there is something in my drink at a restraunt and anything I say to him he rolls his eyes at me and responds to me in a loud nasty manner. Like once my son was on a swing and I saw him falling off and I screamed "hes falling" cause it scared me and he said " ok im ready to go cause you are emberasing me" instead of being concerned about his son. Then he called me crazy. Also I have a teenage girl that now calls me names and a liar because she follows in his footsteps. I have four kids- 2 toddlers-2 teenagers. When I whisper something to him he always responds in a loud rude manner -for example once my 2 year old spilled a drink and she needed a refill so I whispered to him in the exact words"hon can you ask the waitress to bring a refill" and he responded in a loud, rude manner" she is bringing it she is not a retard" and he said it so loud that people looked and the waitress was in earshot so it sounds like I was saying something bad about her even though I was not. He makes it sound like I was complaining or something. And he also comes home from work and says "what did you do all day , the place is a mess?" Even though he doesn't know i cleaned 100 messes during the day. I do wish the same fate on my husband as the others. I feel like throwing up when he is around me or trying to get close. I use to feel happy when he came home but he forever tells lies too. He also tries to argue over everything and says im b****** if I say anything he doesnt like to hear. If I call him out on being a jerk he turns it around on me like i did something wrong. He also never listens to anything I have to say even if it is just about my day. He says"huh, what did you say" but then he has the nerve to say its a misunderstanding if we argue over him not listening to me . I too am trapped but Im scared , I have no job ,no car(we have one we share)and live a lifestyle I am used too. If I left I would have to be on welfare and I'm not sure what's worse because I also don't want to split my time with my little ones with him which is what i would have to do. I do everything for them and I could not handle the stress of knowing he isnt watching them like I do. What am I to do. Woman waiting for freedom .

Hey sweets, I'm not quite there yet. So on the way, I got 4 kids, no family or friends around. He's moved us so much it's hard to make the effort to make new ones. I say it's the little evil things that make life bearable. Let the air out of his spare, so if he gets a flat....., wipe yourself with his bath towel, over salt his food, turn the volume up on his car radio, and my favorite use his toothbrush to clean the toilet, floor, or that crude in the skin drain.

Husband here. You and the kids are my prison. Ever think that we hope you get hit by a train also?

WOW, I thought I was the only one who hates their marriage. I'm in the same sit and I have completely given up on our relationship. I only stay because I have some mental disorders and I'm scared to death that they will take my baby away. Well she's 8 but I still can't take that chance. But there is hope my doctor told me to call some abuse places and explain my problem. He also agreed to go to court with me whenever I need his help. My husband dosen't beat me anymore now its verbal and emotional. I have to remimber that even that the beatings stopped it still is abuse. He complains NON-STOP, about every thing. He's complaining now about how I need to go to bed because I have to get up for our daughter. I was in the military for 11 years, took care of her, the house, the bills, the appointments and brought in the only income into the house. But when I got medically retired he somehow thought I could really dig my heels in and work harder! I have 3 spinal conditions and take mophine, potent painkillers and my mental meds. I'm not even supposed to DRIVE. But god granted me a glimmer of hope at the end of my journey. When my husband and I were seperated I met an amazing man. He told me he'd be here for me forever in any compacity that I needed. We became best friends and eventually lovers. And true to his word 4 years later he stands quietly behind me. He remainded even when I let that jack *** come back. He listens to all my problems and calms me when I need it. We're making plans for my escape later this year.

you should just save little money here and there and just one day leave, by yourself and he will see how much he has neglected you and how much he truly needs you, and may be how much he once loved you.

you should just save little money here and there and just one day leave, by yourself and he will see how much he has neglected you and how much he truly needs you, and may be how much he once loved you.

I agree with you totally honey. I hate my son of a ***** husband like you wouldn't believe. I'm 35 and bidein my time till my youngest turns 18 in 9 yrs and I am out of it. Maybe a life wasted who knows but I have a made my bed will lie in it attitude. I agree with the accident dream. I have laid awake at night thinking about him dying in a car wreck etc. It would be so sweet!! He treats me like ****, doesn't work and is a complete useless feck, but...he is a good dad and my kid loves him so I can wait. And when that day comes I'm gonna open a bottle of champange, drink it, light a cigerette blow the smoke in his stupid face and leave. I'm sick of hearing how fat, lazy, slutty, stupid and useless I am. I cant wait to **** him ovr like he has done to me over the last 12 years. Good luck mrs. Keep your chiun up, u'll be ok:)

Sorry hoolita I meant too give a thumbs up on your posting but accidentally hit the arrow down ;(

I've been married almost 22 years. We both married late (37), first time for each of us. We both figured we were each other's last chance. We have 2 beautiful daughters, 20 and 17. I married him because I desperately wanted children. We worked together and were friends for over 3 years before anything got started. The sex was never very good, he was very inexperienced and shy. We now have not had sex for probably 15 years. I joke with my friends that I'm a born-again virgin. I never expected that this would be a huge part of our relationship, but it is truly non-existent. I've given up making moves. In the past, when I've tried to so much as hold his hand, he pushes his arm toward me, to keep me at a distance. I can probably count on one hand the number of compliments he has ever given me. I've given up cooking because I'm happy with a bowl of cereal. I see no reason to put myself out for him. He doesn't do anything for me, why should I do anything for him? <br />
<br />
I'd love to leave, but I'm almost 59 and haven't worked in about 10 years. He retired 4 years ago, at 54. Since then, the nest egg has diminished considerably and he is now constantly worried about money. <br />
<br />
I've read some of the comments here, women wishing their husbands would just drop dead. I hear them.<br />
<br />
He takes care of himself, works out regularly, and is very disciplined about eating habits and such. Me, not so much.

There is nothing worse than living with someone you despise. I am not joking when I say that I get sick physically when he walks in. He's a spoiled baby who's let himself go, eats like a pig, and is lazy around our house. I used to love him, but he has killed it all with his affairs, his lying, his disrespect and general selfishness. It's HIS world and we are all just lucky to be living in it. AND, last week I caught him in a lie about his buddy and an affair. He tried to correct himself, but it was out there. So yesterday, he comes in from playing golf & said the buddy was afraid I might say something to his wife at the Super Bowl party we were invited to. So H. wants me to cover for scumbag too. At first I told him I wouldn't, then I told him I would go along with it. When we GOT there, I told him not to count on me keeping my mouth shut. Of course, I wouldn't freely go to her and tell her at this point. I WANT to. I'm torn. But, I sat across the room from scumbag's wife and daughter & was nauseated. We got into a major battle when we got home. I hate my husband. Everyone thinks he is such a great guy..but he has a really DARK side, he is a fake, he is a joke. He is impulsive & childish.I am getting too old to try to start over. This guy promised me his undying love & devotions. I got it for 1 out of 15 years we've been married. I wish I'd never laid eyes on him. On top of everything else, I have MS. Stress is the last thing I need, but that's all I know anymore. Any advice would be considered a gift.

Doesn't he have to pay you child support and alimony if you get a divorce? Especially given the abusive nature of the relationship?

divorce women or make it work

Well, it's been over 4 months since we've had sex. Almost had to yesterday. God, I hope I don't have to today. I want to scream "Don't "f-ing" touch me!" Guess I need to learn to pretend to like it. If I do, then I can have a little more freedom. But.... YUCK!

I feel for you, I hate my husband and am constantly hoping that he'll just disappear but that somehow the life he provides - house, food etc -( I am a stay at home mom too) wouldn't change. Like you, with the area I live in I could never get a job that would pay enough to support me let alone two young kids. I doubt that I could do it working two jobs - even if I did where would they be? He is not physically abusive and not intentionally emotionally abusive so I can't go to anyone for help. <br />
<br />
I hope that one day your life gets better, for now I guess just relish the times when he is gone.

I'm a guy, but let me try to be constructive: please warn girls and young women about being trapped in hellish marriage. Think about it: marriage is a legal construct that gives men and women NO WAY OUT. You are experiencing this now. If you were not married, but were two independent adults who had been sharing incomes and the rent / mortgage, you would not be in this trap. You'd have your own identity and your own economic freedom.<br />
<br />
Please, warn the young about marriage. That will give your suffering some meaning.

Girl-Ive said the same thing and to his face no less. This makes me feel even worse becasue I'm not a nasty vengeful person, sometimes I just wish he would go away and not come back no matter what it took to make that happen. I dont have much time right now cuz I have to take my son to a Pinewood Derby workshop, but I'll be back to talk to ya soon, I thought I was the only person to be pushed to think that mean.

I UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL OF YOU ARE SAYING!!!!!!! I HATE MY HUSBAND TO !!! I AM SO TIRED OF BEING BENEATH HIM . HE IS SO GREAT BECAUSE HE MAKES ALL THIS MONEY AND IM JUST A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP. HE IS RARELY HOME BECAUSE OF HIS JOB AND WHEN HE IS I STAY IN MY ROOM . I DONT EVEN TALK TO HIM. I LOAD UP ON VOLUME AND AMBIEM SO I CAN JUST SLEEP THE TIME AWAY WHILE HIS HERE. IF I AM UP AND AWAKE IT IS CONSTANT DEGRADING.I AM SO DEPRESSED ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY THAT GOD WILL TAKE ONE OF US SOON . I REALLY HOPE ITS HIM SOON BECUASE I WANT MY LIFE BACK

Newbie here. I'm the same boat - three kids. No access to money. I have a 3, 2, and 3 month old. And, I am a lazy bum. He bought pizza tonight - spent a whopping $11 - and ranted and raved when I asked him to help with the newborn while I put the older two to bed. I was a lazy ***** because I couldn't do it all at once. AND, he shouldn't have to do anything after suffering to buy us a $11 pizza.<br />
<br />
I seriously pray daily that he dies on his way home from work. That he just doesn't ever come home. I used to wait anxiously for him. Now, I wish he wouldn't touch me. Let alone kiss me. And, for gods sake stay on your side of the bed!