He's So Mean
I am sitting here hoping to read this story later and think its not happening to me. I loved him so much . There was nothing I would not do for him. I forgave him when I found out he cheated..(like a dummie). I accepted his entire family as my own , and put my own family and friends on the back burner.-That was the biggest mistake . I saw all the potential he had and helped him pursue his desires , while ignoring mine. Instead I focused my energies on building a family and investing time with my children. After my children were born i felt like I was not alone in the house anymore. Time and time again my mother advised me there was some serious emotional, verbal and mental abuse going on.When i creid over abusive things he laughed or just decided not to say anything AGAIN. When i fell he laughed with his family and friends. I made up my mind never to let him see me cry again.What hurt most when i did and still do everything to help him he finds a reason to hurt me and blames it on my character. I am not perfect and never claimed to be. I am a work in progress. One thing held true despite all of that .. I loved him .. Now the love is gone . I have learned alot. Never love anyone until you first love yourself ,because to love yourself you have to know yourself. That is something I did not know ME. I looked to him to help find me or to create a new me because the one I knew was so messed up , i thought that would fix (heal) me .. and it didnt , It actually made things alot worse. And lastly I have stopped expecting things from him that I know he will never give me , the kind of things people with unconditional love for one another do, like I used to have for him. Whats so sad I dont know if anyone will ever be his Ms.Right , because I sure had a go at it , and i tried my best and lost myself in the process . No longer though . The race is over . I will never win his heart . Its his and his alone . Now my heart is mine.