HE Is Just Generally An A-hole

Okay, I hate my husband.  Maybe hate is a strong word...or is it?  Here's the deal.  I used to love him.  When I first met him, I was self-conscious, had just lost a lot of weight, met him after I joined the military, was away from home and lonely, looking to "lose my virginity."  I was actually interested in my immediate supervisor--a goofball with a pierced tongue going nowhere--but met his best friend, instead.  Jack (we'll call him) seemed so clean and neat.  He was nice-looking and had only had one girlfriend prior to myself.  Having acne and very low on self-esteem, I immediately latched onto him.  I fancied myself in love with him, and I am sure I was, but I now realize that he is rude to his mom, his dad, everyone who is his family, and that includes me.  His mom must have served him or cleaned up after him or something because he definitely takes me for granted.  He is rude, short on the phone, spends too much time with the TV and computer.  Even though we both work full time, I pick up our 4-year-old from preschool and drop her off every morning.  He is rude to me unless he wants sex, in which case he is falsely nice and thoughtful.  I have stopped having sex with him, since it makes me ill.  I refuse to ever cheat, because I'm not made that way.  I stay with him because our daughter deserves a family, but I have to ay he makes me sick.  He quotes Family Guy, masturbates to **** movies onDemand while my daughter and I sleep, and he is only interested in me if I do something for him--dinner, sex, etc.  He's a total perfectionist when he actually takes an interest in the house, and questions things I do and how I do them.  Otherwise, he's Mr. Workaholic, giving of himself to coworkers and the completion of the mission.  He is never home (not always as a result of his military deployments...he used to spend hours "gaming" at a "dungeons and dragons" type place).  His not being home is so consistent that my 4-year-old doesn't even want to hug or kiss him when he is home.  He makes me sick.  I cannot stand him.  Things I used to find endearing I now abhor.  I am 34 years old and he is 35.  He gets annoyed that I call him out on things, like when he ways "move" instead of "excuse me" or when he continually passes gas in the car and is happy about it.  He micromanages everything I do, and I love it when he is gone any more.  My little girl and I are lonely, but we're best friends, and he is a third wheel.  I cannot stand him.  He is not physically abusive, he has no bad habits like gambling or drinking, and his only fetish is that he wants to be "enslaved" by hot chicks in leather.  I know he's no risk to myself or my child.  There's no point in leaving him.  I just can't stand him, any more.  He is obnoxious.  He is rude to me and his family.  His own child doesn't like him.

wennowill wennowill
3 Responses Nov 26, 2008

You said "there's no point in leaving him." It sounds to me like you have many reasons to leave him. Happiness is one.

I understand how you feel. My husband is rude and nasty. He goes through my cell phone and accuses me of sleeping with my male co-workers. I don't even have sex with him. The last time I did, I felt the same as you, ILL!! Sick to my stomach!! I absolutely, hate my husband!!!!

[[[HUGS]]] I'm so sorry for you. I hope things work out.