Post

He Always Yells

just asking my husband a simple question or anyhting and he has to yell his response or answer like a loud, obnoxious, rude, uncivilized freak!

i hate it. just answer me like a normal human being would do. he'll be holding my daughter and yelling at me "i dont know. leave me the f- alone!" to a simple question like "what did you and your mom talk about?"

i feel like i should never speak or ask questions. god forbid if hes watching tv and i ask him to read the baby her night time books, as im busy writing 50 thank you notes or figuring bills. he HAS to throw the remote and take a huge gasp of air and let out a big sigh of aggrevation towards me. and its not like im asking him to change her or read to her while im doing leisure activites. im doing things that HAVE to be done and things he wont do or does a crappy job doing, and in that case i have to go back and re-do myself.

he calls me a B*I*T*C*H at least once everyday in front of uor 1 yr old. and i feel like he the real "B" always moping and complaining. hes so lazy. but yet his *** can play golf in the middle of the summer all day long.

hes a loud mouth barbarian. i just want to punch him in the freakin mouth and yell "WHISPER". what the hell? i guess its that hard or frustrating to actually give me an answer without acting like hes in great physical pain and im screwing a knife through his back. we never communicate openly about anything. i avoid conversation and questions so that i wont have to hear him go "agggghhhhhhhh" then me say "youre such an a-hole! whats your deal" and then his response, as always...."go to hell, you f-ing b**ch!"

real nice huh?what kind of MAN talks like that to his wife? not some ***** on the street, but his wife that gave birth to his very beloved first daughter and child.

and i do tell him all the time to stop talkig to me like that esp. in front of MY KID! its so rude and i will not let her grow up in a house where her father disrespects me! i always tell him he better treat me lke he would want his daughter to be treated when shes old enough to date and be married.

looks as if he just doenst give a flying ****!

getaway getaway 22-25, F 18 Responses Jan 6, 2009

Your Response

Cancel

My husband of 7 yrs. has recently I guess in the past 3 yrs. started yelling at me and my children (which are his too). Personally I can take the yelling, cursing, blaming me for everything towards me, but when he does it to the children I get pushed to my boiling point. He acts like a big bully. Always blaming everyone for his problems. Complaining about me not being at his beckon call while he is sitting on his butt playing on his iPad. Even when we go out in public he yells at strangers in the car of course the kids and I are the only ones who actually hear it. The only sanity time for me is when he is gone to work out of town. I get me time, the kids get happy time no one is yelling or cursing. I would love for him to go to counseling but haven't been able to convince him to yet. Any advice for someone who isn't ready to give up who would like it to work out but doesn't know where to start?

Hi Ladies. I have been going through the same thing for 15 years now. In the beginning it was the worst, but it's still not good. I have always wanted out. Even at 21 and pregnant, walking down the isle I knew in my heart it wasn't a good idea to marry him. I cut myself so short. He was immature, still wanted his freedom, had no clue what marriage ment, and wasn't ready for the commitment. But he said he did and being pregnant I thought he needed to be ready and I didn't want to raise out baby alone. So we got married and once we were and he started to get an idea what that meant, the work he had to do, what other men expected of him with a wife and baby to take care of, he didn't want it. So that is why he was such a jerk. Because they realize they can't have fun anymore and they have to work when they just want to be free to do what they did before and we weren't finanically prepared so we can't just end it. So they take it out on us. Blame us for everything. Overtime they will either find a way to leave, or they will stay and get used to it, used to treating us bad and getting their needs taken care of, and start to enjoy the control they find they have over us. This is even worse and it just becomes a cycle of confusion and abuse where you believe it is normal, but it is not. Because the relationship didn't start out with a man mature enough to truely understand what they were commiting to, that will never happen with them. They will always feel like they were suckered into it and blame you for ruining their lives. Even if as they mature over time, if the relationship didn't start with a man who respects you, they don't grow to respect that woman later on, even if their are times when they try, the ability and anger will always be there waiting to resurface. These men who treat women like this grow up in homes where their father treated their mother that way too. So they think it is normal, they think they have the right to keep us in line. A man who starts off with you on the right foot, loving you just because they want to and commit just because they want to from the start, that is what we need to find and deserve. It is what we cut ourselves short of when we married them. Leaving these men is the first thing we need to do to start giving ourselves back our respect. I also am reading about the health problems that have kept some of us in these relationship. I also have had health problems and although we would hope this would help them care about us, and the fact that we really do need someone, it actually just makes them feel more trapped. The only solution is to leave as soon as you can possibly find a way and start over with someone who wants to be with us. I have been working on leaving for 15 years, but I haven't given up so you don't either!

Some of these stories touched my heart in so many ways. I married an abusive man and lived with him for 13 years, he hurt me in ways I can't bear to write here, the pain and bruises went away but the humiliation left its scars. Pulling myself together was difficult to do because I hurt all over, my son gave me the courage to move on. I left my husband and only had $100 dollars a dear friend gave me because my husband at the time cleaned out all the accounts. The sickest thing was I loved that man whose hands hurt me and I only remember them loving me. I got out and a friend of mine always told me: "the best was yet to come.' And it did-I pray for all of you-God Bless you all. I wish you all peace and love-love yourselves...Mary

I have 5 more years to wait until I am done with the same kind of insolent POS you guys all have. If I get told to shut the f***!up one more time, I am going to scream...

I have 5 more years to wait until I am done with the same kind of insolent POS you guys all have. If I get told to shut the f***!up one more time, I am going to scream...

get out of the relationhiop when you can, it does not get any better, after 40 years of marriage and after a hip surgery, he just screams and yells, trying to control me by locking up my pain meds, I should have known that 35 years ago, you can start your lfe over again

because we always hope they will change but they never will. we are women who believe people are basically good but they are not. these men use the same routines with their women me included but because they try to isolate us we think maybe it has something to do with us. it doesnt they are the losers they change a good women who loved them into someone who hates them . life could be so different they are the sad losers . it is not wrong of us to stay but wrong for them . we make the homes the joy the life the love they have nothing . make nice friends these men are not important because they make lives hell . why should any women leave her home ignore them when u can anger is something they need deprive them of it and they panic silence or just carrying on and laughing and singing and listening to music ignore them they are spoilt brats live your life not theirs

my husband is the same as all of these women's husbands--actually we arent married, we've just been together for 12 yrs. we have 4 children. he is constanlty cussing at me, calling me names, screaming at me, finding things to fight over. yeah, he actually looks to fight with me--he is 3 times my size--he gets in my face and spits and screams--every small tiny mistake i make, he makes a federal case out of it, he enjoys pointing out my faults and rubs it in my face when i make a mistake, like, turning the AC on 76 instead of 75. he is especially mean to me when he hasnt had sex in 3 or more days--he tells me im stupid, retarded, dumb, worthless, and a horrible mother. he says i cant raise the kids right. if he is a bad mood, he takes it out on me, sometimes looking around for things in the house to scream at me about. right now im just in a daze,

my husband is the same as all of these women's husbands--actually we arent married, we've just been together for 12 yrs. we have 4 children. he is constanlty cussing at me, calling me names, screaming at me, finding things to fight over. yeah, he actually looks to fight with me--he is 3 times my size--he gets in my face and spits and screams--every small tiny mistake i make, he makes a federal case out of it, he enjoys pointing out my faults and rubs it in my face when i make a mistake, like, turning the AC on 76 instead of 75. he is especially mean to me when he hasnt had sex in 3 or more days--he tells me im stupid, retarded, dumb, worthless, and a horrible mother. he says i cant raise the kids right. if he is a bad mood, he takes it out on me, sometimes looking around for things in the house to scream at me about. right now im just in a daze,

İts so sad to read that there are so many women out there living in unbearable situations and continuing to do so .İ prey for all that God will bring you out of the hell you are living in .No one deserves to be abused in any way we all have a life and our lives are precious .A lot of these men need help too but dont forget Ladies the first person to help must be yourself ,DON'T ever accept any kind of abuse what so ever ,you can't Love anyone fully until you love yourself first .By accepting abuse that means living with it day in and day out its like saying your own life is worthless .The truth is your life is VERY precious there is always help for people but they have to speak up .maybe go to a church or a social worker even the police a family member a close friend ,a neighbour ,No one is that alone .When it comes to ABUSE dont suffer in silence .Alot of women stay in these relationships for years Dont CONFRONT the absuer seek help from outside be careful with your life dont put your self in danger there is help for abused women .

I think what is, is we see getting help as an absolute last resort for many reasons. First, it is humiliating and we don't want people to know. The second reason is probably that we are angry about it, but we don't believe it is so bad that we would give up our homes and what little stability we still have and let them win by going and living in a shelter. We feel like we have given up enough and don't deserve that. We know what those shelters are like, we have probably looked into them and they are not great places. Not having guts to do something like that is part of it. Also we love them and we feel like sticking it out is where we do have some guts. For me, going to school is helping. That is the way I want to get out. There is pride and want to be normal be like everyone else and not wanting to rely on others.

My husband yells at me in front of people one time every vacation and then then I just want to go home. I hate him so much. I am just with him until my youngest is out of College

You know i feel exactly the samr way!

I feel like his more drifting away from me, not secually attractive.

I was such a confident persone before but know my confidence level has dropped and i ahave become more negative thininking in life....

He controls my money and he does not like it when i speak to my parent's

he yells when he talks to me...

i think we are drifting apart.. and it's not even 2 years, whenever i try to communicate with him his like r u stupid and then he tell me i don't know anything

PLS HELP ME!

dmps-look into battered woman shelters. I know that is not a great life, but it would be better than what he is putting you into. You can also contact a lawyer to speak to about options. I know in Georgia there are abuse laws and you could possibly end up with the house. I am not sure if you can maintain the household on your own, but you need to speak to someone. It is a crime to abuse someone. What he is doing is illegal and needs to stop. Do some research on woman support groups that might be able to help with information and possibly financial support.

Dmps1956

Get out now! He sounds like nothing but an abusive peice of you know what! Men like him prey on the innocent, weak ,sick, and helpless and that is only because he himself is a coward on the inside. When men act like that its because they are scared of life and take it out on those who they feel cant help themselves. I know you might be scared you feel as if you will have nothing without him because you are ill! I myself am ill I also have seizures and I have a very bad neurological disease and hashimotos disease wich interferes with all my other illnesses and make everything worse. Keep applying for social security, everyone even the terminal usually get denied after the first time of applying. I know how frustrating it is but you have to try more than once to apply and even get a lawyer if you must! As far as getting out of the house now, You need to call around there is alot of help in every state and county that is sometimes kept under the rugs. What you need to do is ask your Dr. for a social worker and he or she will be able to get you all the help you need! Have you ever consided metro housing? Since your disabled you would be moved to one of the frist on the list. As far as the husband goes, please gain courage and the next time he physically abuses you call for help. There are many things to do and advocates to talk to about these types of things. I hope this helps. and good luck to you!

OMG I have a husband EXACTLY like all of yours. My husband is so bad that back in 2006 I had a stroke, then had to have emergency brain surgery due to a subdural hematoma from hitting my head while on the coumadin. I was in a coma for five days and when they moved me from ICU to Intermediate care, he would come and visit and do nothing but yell and scream at me. The nursing staff would always come running in to see if I was okay. I begged for Dartmouth Hospital to try and make arrangements to allow me to stay an extra two weeks, which they managed to do (I was in the hospital/rehab for about four months). He would tell me that I am a burden (and he still tells me that) and I ruined his life with my illness. He has ADHD, but there is no excuse for this type of abuse. I am permanentlyt disabled (I also have epilepsy and severely hearing impaired) and he has started to physically abuse me, then says I lied about it and doesn't remember doing it. I do not have a job because if my long illness and he has me over a financial barrel. He told me that he cannot deal witht he fact that I have no short term memory due to the brain damage from the stroke, I have to lip read and my epilepsy meds make me slow to respond to questions and God forbid, he has to repeat something to me. Tonight for instance, he asked where the Polysporin was in the medicine cabinet and I didn't something horrible "I didn't answer with just a YES or NO answer" and he is sick of me being so stupid (I hold two master's degrees). One day he tells me that he loves me and then he tells me that he is sick of my stupid BS and wants me out of his house (my name is not on the house). I am scared and have nowhere to go and no way to support myself. Even though I have put into the Social security system since I was 16 years old (I am now 54), I was turned down for disability after my stroke, which made him very angry. He doesn't treat anyone else this way and he says it is because I deserve what I get and he doesn't feel one bit bad about the abuse. I am afraid and if anyone can give me ANY kind of advice, I would truly appreciate it. I am all alone.

i am so sorry to read that you are suffering so much ABUSE .There must be somewhere you can go ,Do you have any family that perhaps you could turn to .Really no one deserves to be treated the way your husband is treating you .Your husband will probally get worse not better as time goes by ,he knows what he is doing ,real Love does not harm the other person .You should try and get into a safe house a shelter for abused women ,there should be trained people there to help you get into your own place and also onto some kind of social security payment ,Really there is help out there go to social security and tell them what ahs been happening ,Even go to the police İ am serious they should be able to advice you .İf you continue to live the way you have been nothing will change ,more than likely it will get worse .From what you have written your husband sounds like he needs professional help too .First you MUST help yourself .GodBless you and keep ypu safe

My husband does the same thing when I say I'm going to tell someone that he hits me. He get's this evil smirk on his face and says I never hit you. You can get a free lawyer to help with your SS case. I am sure you qualify, but sometimes you need a lawyer to make it happen. You can also tell the lawyer what else is happening. You need some peace and mind about losing your home. If you are married it belongs to you even if your name isn't on it. He it lying to you about that. SS lawyers only get paid if you win and it get's taken out of any back pay and they will be able to tell you what the exact law is that makes that home belong to you.

I lived that way with my husband for 15 years and felt like I couldn't escape because I have a heart condition and can't work. One day I couldn't stand it anymore so I went into the bedroom and packed several bags, took them out to my car and left. I didn't tell him where I went but he had 4 days to sit there alone and think about it. He called my sister to find out where I was and she wouldn't tell him other than I was at a motel. He drove around until he found the car. Since it was winter and snow coming down I went back but I applied for housing and looked around town for an apartment. There were none open. Anyway he changed and rarely yells at me anymore. He doesn't want to be left alone. I had a heart attack a month ago and he was really scared I'd die. They can change when they need to but as long as they get away with it they will. I guess it's a male thing but of course not all men are that way. My daughter has been going through that this last year and she was leaving her husband so he agreed to get counseling. Hopefully it will help them.

it was like reading about my life...with out the child..I am 20 years old ...I have no children with my husband ...he acts just like that ...calling me a stupid ***** ...screaming embrassing me in front of my family ....I should ..i keep saying this to my self yet here I stay.

Sounds like my husband! He calls me a crazy ***** insane loser etc in front of my 2 yo. I support his lazy *** and get no credit for it. He is so lazy and rude. he has no respect for anything!!