I Hate My Husband Too...

I hate my husband too.. especially when he talks to me sweet to cover up his financial status. I am married for 4 years & we postponed having children due to his pathetic financial situation. It is still continuing without an end. He loves me, helps me with house hold chores, he cares for me, he is good as long as I don't ask anything about his financial status. He has a fantasy to pay debts forever throughout his lifetime. He doesn't plan about saving or spending money. Everymonth he has so much amount to spend, so he will not save. I was earning all these years & saving to some extent. I even helped him paying his debts partially. Now am staying at home & my income has stopped, hence am feeling insecured about our future. We discussed about this & he promised to give me some money to save everymonth. He has kept up his promise but is after that money after giving the same to me. He brings new expenditure to spend the money he has given to me and not letting me save the same. Since I was working, I planned some monthly schemes to save & now that is interrupted. I am not willing to goto work & feel its hightime I decide about having a child & my husband start saving. He is particular about returning every penny got from his parents, but the same is not kept up when it comes to my family. He has treated me as bad as a bullshit during our initial period of marriage, but later I made several attemps to change him on the rest and he changed a lot. But the only thing that he fails to realise is about planning his finance. His parents have taught him only about debts & loans. He is brought up in such an environment unlike me. Am fed up talking about this to him and his continuous convincing tactics. Somebody please help me to correct the situation.

marukozhundu marukozhundu
1 Response Feb 11, 2009

What i did with my financially dysfuctional spouse is I drafted a budget... an ob<x>jective third party... to show him just how poorly he was managing as the final word on family finances... I showed him (after all but tying and gagging him to the furniture) how here and there we could've saved, paid-off, invested, etc. Just corner him and before he can elude you (by sweettalk or flight) make him admit that he either doesn't care what you or your budget say, or shifts blame on his parents' bad example, or an addiction to ebay, or whatever... either way, you will both be in agreement that things could look better concerning the finances...and then you'll at least be on your way... all the best!!!!