So Very Tired

My husband is a paranoid schizophrenic.  I have been living with this for three years.  He will not stay on his medications.  He says he will, but then after a few weeks, he stops.  For over two years he thought he was being followed by the government. In the meantime, I have been raising two kids almost entirely by myself.  He manages to go to work everyday, thank God, and keep a job, much to my amazemnet.  He is my albatrose.  A dead weight hung around my neck.  I've tried to help him, as have his parents and mine but it's useless.  He told me that he cannot handle the responsibility of being a husband and father.  His parents have begged me not to leave him.  Saying that his is ill and "that if he had cancer, would I leave him?"  This isn't cancer!  At least someone with that disease would want to get better, or they would die.  I can't keep waiting for a fiery car crash to kill him on his way to work.  Divorce is my only option.  I'm not afraid to be on my own.  I look forward to it.  Anything is better than the empty half-life I've been living for all these years. 

soverytired soverytired
31-35
Feb 15, 2009