Worthless

I have been married for 4 years. I have never spent a holiday with him, he is always with another woman on our ann., he disrespects and abuses me....pretty much is a good example of a worthless waste of air. Still not sure how I fell for him.

amyjo3 amyjo3
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 10, 2009

Sometimes we think that people like that deserve a chance and all they need is something or someone to be a better person for. I've given mine many reasons but he's still a idiot about the whole family and marriage deal. I guess no matter how many reasons we give them to get there head straight it just doesn't work, even if we have all the faith in the world in them. I thought he had enough brains to do what it takes but I guess it's just to much work that he's unwilling do. <br />
www.winbackyourheart.com might help you out some too.<br />
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I'm sick of looking like an idiot for believing he's able to do the right thing. Life would be so ****** up if mine would just get his act together. Mine said he's scared to death to loose me and the kids,but even more scared to pass up a job in this economy. I told him,"What good is a job you can't get to when your wife divorces you for continuing to drink." He said he'll be going to AA and get a good substance abuse counselor, along with another doctor. His appointment is today and I hope the doctor can perscribe him Zanax for his need to get high. Trazodone to help with insomnia, because he said if he can't sleep well he wants to drink to sleep. Anabuse which he's asked for in the past from other doctors and they haven't given because it makes the alcoholic ill when they drink. But it provides motivation not to drink which would mean the world to him right now. I think I've given him enough motivation not to drink, but whatever. I've told him that if this doesn't work and he continues to drink he will be out on the street with no way to get to work and no medical insurance. I hate the fact I've had to become so hard hearted with him, but I'm tired of being let down. I thought he could use his brain enough to learn and do what it takes to stop drinking, maybe there aren't enough brain cells left. I'd like to give our marriage a chance, but I'm running out of ideas and he's running out of excuses. This last idea about the doctor is the last idea I have for him to try and then I'm promising myself to let him go. It's all coming together now, and my eyes have been opened. Love can't heal all I guess. I picked one that was way to screwed in the head, I didn't think he was that screwed up at first. I never wanted to admit to this because I wanted to believe he could be a better person and I believed his lies.He is not mean or abusive since he's come out of christian rehab, but they had no relapse prevention programs in place. So 60 bottles of vodka down the road here I am. I just don't want to live with a drunk, even if he's nice and has a job. <br />
I shouldn't have even thought about giving him a chance to prove himself to me. I promise myself that I'll be done with him soon if he can't show me different. I have never felt this strongly about this decision and he knows it.

Thank you very much for the input. I will def. go look at it. I am big on educating myself because as I see it ignorance gets us nowhere. I think the thing that drew me to him was the fact I wanted to fix him, which never works. And then we had our first child...things went downhill from there. No it wasnt love, it was a sick mental addiction to him. thanks again summer!

Sounds like you have an authoritarian sociopath on your hands. Your brain has actually become addicted to emotional intensity, it was not passion or love and probably never was. Visit this web site it might help. www.takebackyourheart.com<br />
And look up authoritarian sociopath. Getting educated on this stuff helps you make positive decisions for yourself.