Is This How Its Supposed to Be?

So where to start? I hate my husband. He is always playing World of Warcraft and has a fit whenever I try to talk to him while he is playing. Our life revolves around this game and I am really getting tired of it. He also seems to think that he is Gods gift to the world and is so much smarter than anyone. I am so sick of him telling me how stupid I am. We have been married for a year and dated for 5 years. Is this really how its supposed to be? Are you supposed to be with someone who doesnt even know you exist. We moved about 1500 miles away from our family and friends so he could get a better job and all the money in world would not be worth being alone with this *******.

mayday21 mayday21
5 Responses Mar 22, 2009

I have stayed in my realtionship far too long. My husband drives a truck and he's gone for days at a time, when he comes home he ignores even the smallest bit maintenence on our home and vehicles, doesn't participate in raising a child that he begged me to have, doesn't utter two words to me BUT he will chain smoke cigarettes (he likes to go in the bathroom and smoke for like 30 or 40 minutes at a time) and he lives on Xbox chatting and laughing with his friends as he plays games...<br />
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He is so immature and out of touch as a husband and a father! We communicate very little!!!! And trust me sister my situation gets worse and worse.<br />
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Everyday I pray to God for money or a job that will allow me to be self-sufficient! <br />
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Before finding this blog, I had absolutely no freaking idea how many marriages were in turmoil. I thought I was one of few who hated their husbands! I hate him more than I've ever hated anyone. I feel better knowing that I'm not alone but I'm sad that we're all living in hell =(

And they say we have emotional problems. What lairs!!

She's right. It would be better to get it done and over with now than waist half your adult life and have four kids with a jerk off. I've have done that and things have got a little better, after they got a lot worse. Man did I go through hell to grow some balls. It's a waist of time and energy. Besides you could get depressed and come down with a chronic disease because of the stress. I now have fibromyagia and have been in a mental hospital for two weeks because of putting up with his bull ****. If I would have realized what I was getting myself into I wouldn't have tried so hard to "HANG IN THERE". All that will happen is you'll end up hating him more and more tell you snap out of feeling sorry for the poor excuse for a man. Put your foot down, show him this web site. What ever you do don't be afraid of the idiot, and he thinks he's so smart. If he was smart he wouldn't treating you like trash and be looking down the road to divorce. They can smell fear and love it. Look up sociopath, it might help you let go. Turn his crap back around on him, or go home to your family and friends. They will understand that you want to be with someone that doesn't treat you badly. Don't feel like you've failed, he's the one who has failed at marriage NOT YOU! (6 years is nothing compared to my 14) You don't want to go through what I've been through. Look up how to become assertive, to try to take control over your life AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. Detachment is also a good one to look into. Try to get strong for yourself not for him. Get a degree, don't worry about being lonely. And what ever you do get smarter about how to choose the next man in your life. Passion is over rated I'd rather be with someone down to earth and stable, with a degree or two. Someone that wants a beauty in there life and get's overlooked by most of them. Someone like that would treat you like the angle you are, and that's what really matters. Watch out for the sociopaths, they are THE charmers. It's almost as if they have this as there super power!

You've only been married a year and he's telling you you're stupid all the time and treating you like you're non-existent? That's horrible. Trust me, I have been married a long time -- too long -- this stuff does not get better. It gets worse over time. <br />
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Move back home to your family and friends. Maybe he'll wake up if he ever notices you are missing.<br />
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Take some time off and rethink what you're doing here.<br />
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Don't wait until you have kids and a mortgage and financial stuff together. It's much harder then.

I'd tell him how strongly you feel. Let him know all the money in the world is not worth being alone with him. I let mine know all the crap that goes through my head hoping he'll leave on his own. Yours is addicted to games. It's just as bad as drugs or alcohol if that's his world and wants nothing to do with you. At least you don't have problems in your sex life as well as being financially strapped along with the addiction. Tell him your marriage is headed downhill fast and if he doesn't come out the hole he's hiding in and give you some respect and time he's going to end up being served papers. At least you'd be giving him a heads up as to what's to come, TELL HIM IT'S BETTER THAT HE KNOWS AHEAD OF TIME SO IT'S HIS CHOICE TO KEEP IT UP. He's got two options get served or try to change his behavior. Instead of him being surprised and wonder what he did wrong whne he does get served. I'm not sure why men think all we need from them is for them to work and we should be happy. I know it sucks elephant balls and it hurts. Let him know your reality bites and it will end up biting him in the a** if he doesn't realize the hell he's putting you through. Let him know in a way that holds back the anger you feel. Show as little emotion as possible, you as if it wouldn't hurt you at all to move home and start another life. If he comes back with okay, go ahead and leave don't be afraid to disappear for a day or so to scare the hell out of him. My **** weed for a husband isn't ready for me to divorce him and is doing all he can to kiss my *** now that I filed for divorce and told him to get drunk one more time so I can get the papers served to him. He knows I'm more than ready to do what it takes to get him out. He doesn't complain about anything anymore. He does whats asked of him, and I don't have to do what he asks if I have have plans. There is more respect between us now that he's no longer the biggest jerk on the planet to me. Sometimes I still bring up the fact that he should be happy I haven't divorced him by saying. "If you were not here I wouldn't have to....Or if you were not here I would not have to deal with...Or this wouldn't be an issue if you were not here. Do you need TO BE SERVED? Don't make me feel like I need TO GET THE PAPERS SERVED. Life shouldn't be THIS MUCH harder with you around." If he starts to give me any crap I can shut him up quickly with any of the above statements. He's a lowlife idiot I'd rather have nothing to do with, but I'm nice to him most of the time, and he's nice to me most of the time so I guess as long as the dumb*** ISN'T GETTING DRUNK I'll DEAL WITH HIM.