He's a Lier, Who Acts Like It's My Fault I Don't Trust Him!

My husband has systematically destroyed any love I had for him - and then compounds it all by acting like I choose to feel this way about him.

He admits that he has lied to me, that he has hidden things, that he has done things which have put our financial and emotional wellbeing at risk - yet does not take accountability.

Through his entire life he says that he has been bullied.  Untill recently I believed him.  Now I don't.  He says that I am bullying him - and the basis for this is that when he does something which is stupid, thoughtless, mean, dangerous - I tell him I don't like it - first ask him not to do it again - then tell him not to do it again - then beg him not to do it again - and if I get angry and god forbid show I am angry then I am just being nasty because he doesn't do what I tell him.

He doesn't give a damn - yet he refuses to move out.  I stopped loving this person a long time ago - yet I still feel like I should support him through this time as he says his Dr says he is depressed.  He defo has mental health issues - but I don't believe he is really trying to sort these out.  He lies constantly - how do you believe someone who lies all the time?


amethystmoon amethystmoon
2 Responses May 2, 2009

This sounds like my husband, too: the lies and the hiding things, the disrespect, though he is a good provider. Get away from him. He needs a shrink.

It sounds like your in the same situation as I. Mine has been "DEPRESSED" for the last three years. He also lies about everything, just to sound like he's doing the right thing. Like taking his medication, drinking and telling me he'll do something and just never do it. I feel the same way. Like he's making me hate him and he thinks all this I bring up is no big deal. Like I'm making up issues to fight about, just to fight. But it's not like that at all because I wouldn't fight about things at all if I wanted are marriage to go down the drain. I bring things up because I care about the health of our relationship. I think he's stupid for thinking I'm going to stick with the idiot if he's just going to ignore the fact that he's got major issues I'd rather not deal with the rest of my life. He's made bad choices, and just keeps making them, like he's got something wrong with his brain that can't let him learn from his mistakes. He could choose to go into rehab again and isn't. He could at least choose to go to AA, but doesn't. He could choose to get more education to make a better living for his family and doesn't. He could choose to do many other things like get me gifts on holidays, which he hasn't except for Christmas. Christmas is the only holiday important to him, so he doesn't see why any others are important to me besides Christmas. He could act like he loves me. He could do many other things besides ask for a divorce. It hurts that he's practically begging me to divorce him and no matter how much I try to get it through his head he doesn't get it. It's almost as if he wants me to divorce him. He's got no license, no GED, and is a drunk. Best of luck to the next lady! He's got five kids and makes only $9.00 and hour. AND IT'S MY FAULT FOR MARRING A LOSER. Why the hell isn't it his fault for not becoming a more responsible adult. As if I was supposed to read the future and know what an idiot he was going to choose to be 14 years later. I guess I'm the dumb one for not knowing he was really this stupid. This is why I think men like my husband and yours suck big hairy elephant balls..Why can't they get it, are they really that stupid? I decided mine is. After he get's a surgery to have no more children I'm getting papers served and getting court dates set to make sure he says away from me for good. He's failed, not I. Maybe you should just stop feeling sorry for the peace of **** like I have.