I absolutely love that I found this!
Needless to say, the love is dead.
WTF was I thinking?
As I lie here, sleepless, kept awake by horrendous pig snoring noises...
Everyone outside this house thinks you're great and, to them, you are. Volunteer to coach, check, Sunday school, oh yes, community service, you betcha, but inside this house, there is a whole different person. We often talk, when you aren't home, about taping what goes on, as we wouldn't believe the astonding difference, if we weren't living it.
When we met, I thought, oh poor wounded bird, that first wife was really terrible. Years later, you still complain about her constantly, but make no mistake, I'm not listening to that garbage anymore. I have every idea why she ran for the hills. I bet you'll be justifying my absence with those same stories. You go right ahead. Maybe the next one will be a better judge of character.
I tell you something, it gets ignored. Years later, one of you nasty redneck friends says the same thing and it becomes the holy graille.
You control every detail of of lives, even monitoring our cell use. We are paralyzed with fear at your angry outbursts, lest anyone speak up about your behavior. Your are selfish, vindictive and unforgiving. The kids are afraid of you.
We are nearing bankruptcy for the spending that never ends. We can't even get our kids a gift without you using it as an excuse to purchase a major ticket item, for yourself. "You deserve it," you say and I, "just don't want you to enjoy anything." You've spent all our tax returns, refi'd, maxed cards and cashed in retirement and I never saw a dime. You will make sure we have no financial future. I need something, well I better wait until I get a good steady source of income, but you're planning your next vacation/ buying a boat/ perusing the new electronics you "must" have?
Circumstance made me dependent on you, but guess what baby? The party is almost over. It has been a misery and this misery no longer needs my company.
We never really blended our family, as your obvious favorite has no problem getting what the others have been told no about.
I see now that my agreeing to marry you was a serious case of duper's delight, on your part. I broke it off right beforehand, siting what I believed would become irreconsilable differences like, frugality, education, liberalism, feminism, gay rights, to name but a few but you had an answer for everything. It "would balance you out."
You see, I'm on to you. I know that, "I'll work on it," really means, I'll keep (insert financial, anger mgmt, etc. here) under wraps for a bit, at least until the threat of leaving has passed.
Then there's the misc. stuff that I'm just so done with, the skid marks, bowel problems, hillbilly redneck, lack of manners, impotent, straight garbage diet, bad driver, ignorant, mysogynistic, poor pet owner and I'm gonna stop now, cuz' really, I could so go on forever.
Guess what though... because I am so onto you-
as soon as I get that first check, I am beyond out of here!
I'm lookin' forward to freedom.