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Im Two Inches Tall

My husband just got back from a business trip.  He has been gone all week.  (Its been a very quiet and HAPPY week.)  The afternoon started with him griping about me not making him feel welcome enough because I was chasing two very small children instead of waiting on him hand and foot.  I even attempted to offer a sincere apology which he just threw in my face.

I needed to go to the grocery store and I was waiting for him to come home so I didnt have to take the toddler.  Well everyone decided to go.  I was trying to expedite the shopping trip because it was starting to get late and our toddler needed time to unwind before bedtime.   He didn't like being rushed.  So as soon as we got to the parking lot he started cursing me out.  He threw every insult he could - all infront of both little kids.  I actually stood up for myself and interrupted him and said, "You will not curse at me in front of our children."  I said if firmly.  THAT DID NOT GO OVER WELL!  He continued berrading me but at least now he's not talking to me.

Its bad enough that my children know the swear words because he cannot control his tongue.  But it is completely unacceptable for him to continue to treat me so poorly.  I am scared to death that my sons will treat women as badly as he treats me and that my daughter will be treated this poorly. 

I just keep telling myself that it has to get better.  I have invested so much.  It just takes a little more time...I hope.

NoGodsNoMasters NoGodsNoMasters 31-35, F 8 Responses Jun 25, 2009

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I worked in battered women's shelters for 20 years - yes, really - and the one thing I told women, that I will share with you is this: "Your boys will become the men you surround yourselves with, and your daughters will marry them". -- we teach people how to treat us, I hope you look in the mirror when you wake up in the morning and see the person your babies see, your mama sees, your best friend sees and say out loud "I AM WORTH BETTER". Take good care & God bless you.

((OverWhelmedMom))-<br />
Sounds like a D-double douche bag!<br />
I feel for you, but make an escape plan, girl...<br />
If you can't do it for you, then do it for the kids.<br />
These abusers (emotional/physical or otherwise) never get better. It ALWAYS gets worse.

He believes in spanking; I dont. No marks have ever been left. <br />
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If I leave, he gets unsupervised visitation. I cannot PROVE he is doing anything wrong. So what he's mean to me. I dont see a judge really caring unless I can provided documented proof that he would put the kids in immediate danger. I married a bully. Like in school its hard to prove that your being bullied; even harder to do in court. No judge buys into that. Its safer for my kids for me to stay so I can always be there.

You're staying even thought he's HITTING your kids?<br />
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Man up and get the **** out before they end up seriously hurt mentally and physically.

Honestly, I am terrified to leave him because I dont trust him to be left unsupervised with our children. All he ever does is hit and yell at them. When he doesnt get to do what he wants to do; he throws a fit and takes his frustration out on whomever is near him. He never supervises them. He thinks its perfectly acceptable to allow a two year old to play outside by himself unsupervised. I would NEVER leave my kids in his custody because I would be afraid for their lives. I dont trust his family either.<br />
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I dont trust the courts. I also dont want my kids to feel like their "different" or torn between two parents. So this is not a decision I take lightly.<br />
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This morning he yelled at me because I jumped in between him and our toddler and wouldn't let him hit our toddler. He cursed me out and told me that I was spoiling him because I "spare the rod." I am NOT an advocate of spanking. Especially when young children our concerned. <br />
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The kid is two, but he is not spoiled. Trust me, I dont put up with shenanigans.

Cruel and Inhuman Treatment Law and Legal Definition-This is good enough have any rights striped from him in court if he is found guilty. Stop feeling sorry for the mental case. <br />
You have determination, but you could put it to better use investing in yourself. Not just by taking time for yourself and reading, but by taking action to make your future better. Education is the key to empowerment, and don't think for a minute your not smart enough. <br />
The kids song," Keep trying, keep trying, don't give up, don't give up." Shouldn't be put into the context of your marriage. He will not realize what he's doing tell your out of his life. It could never happen at all. He's just not all that into you and will not become into you tell your out of his life. Then he might try to get you back by acting all wonderful, but it'll just be an act so he can be the cruel and inhuman person he is. How hard would it be to find someone he can treat like this right off the bat. He'd have to put a lot of work into treating someone better to get them wrapped up as tight as you. Of course he'll try to keep you, but that's when you have got to turn the tables and make his life hell for your own good and the good of your children. Feeling sorry for some and loving them even through it all can't change someone if they enjoy treating you like this he's not going to stop. He's sick in the head, but that's not a good enough reason to fell sorry for him. It doesn't sound like he has the ability to be reasoned with. He'll be judged by God and will not be given much mercy. Why should you have to pity him and give him mercy. Do you really want to grow old with someone like this. This is cruel and inhuman treatment you are enduring, legally there are laws against such treatment. If my husband treated me like your I'd have a much easier time getting him out of the house legally with a restraining order. You can call child protective services on him and have him band from your children if you don't trust him to have visitation. Child protective services would take a stand against him. Your children may love him, but they don't know whats best for themselves, you should.<br />
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Don't you feel like your in a war zone when he's around. Is okay to keep your children in a war zone just so they can spend time with there Dad. <br />
Now I think I understand why men stay with woman there not really into anymore. They have something to gain from the relationship. In your husbands case, he really enjoys treating you badly. If he didn't he'd get a divorce. I hate my husband and have just started treating him badly the last 4 months. I don't like it, I can't live like this. I have to divorce him, so I can become a better and more loving person.

I go to a women's therapy session weekly so I better cope with his outbursts. It really helps. I cannot tell you how much it has rebuilt my self esteem.

HUG That really sucks. What actions and steps are being made that you feel will improve the situation. Therapy?