I Regret Ever Having Married Or Even Having Met My Lying, Controlling, Inconsiderate Pig

I have been married 2 years and have 1 child and another on the way.  I can honestly say I HATE MY HUSBAND!!!!! I wish I never met him. He is the biggest liar, back stabber, 2faced, bipolar, inconsiderate SOB I have ever laid my eyes on.  Here's my story.  I met him through a family member.  I should have thought twice because this family member is kind of shady to begin with, but I said it wouldn't hurt to at least talk to him.  When he called we hit it off.  He laughed at all my jokes and stories and I thought he was a good listener.  I wasn't really into men of my ethnic origin as they have a reputation for being controlling, arrogant, selfish, abusive etc. In my case it turned out to be completely true.   He lived in one state and I lived in another.  We tried doing the long distance thing, and for me I was fine with it.  But he wanted more.  I was out going, out spoke and independent.  He too was established, educated, an on paper met all my requirements.  I swear I should have looked deeper, and should have paid closer attention to signs.  We traveled back and forth to see one another.  Before I knew it he proposed.  I guess he did so, because the idea of my being ot of sight and out of reach bothered him, and I believe he wanted me to himself.  Not bragging I swear its the truth.  Before I knew it, he'd already flown to ask my parents for my hand in marriage, and announced to family and friends we were to be married.  Before I knew it the wheels were already set in motion and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  By the time, I knew he was abusive it was too late.  I was 3 weeks before the wedding when I got my first slap.  I begged my foks to let me out of the wedding, and they told me I wasn't going to bring shame to them by canceling the wedding.  And to mke matters worse I was pregnant. So, my wedding day was the most miserable day of my life.  But I told myself, no matter what just keep smiling so no one knows how much you're hurting.  When I moved down to his state, I realized how miserable my life was going to be and between the constant fights being yelled at, cussed at, pushed and threatened, I snuck out early one morning 6 months pregnant and 2 months married, and ran.  I got on a shuttle, boarded a plane, and ran back to my parents.  My parents were mortified again I begged, and pleaded.  But they forced me to go back.  I'd used every penny I had to move, ship my things, pay for 20% of the wedding, and buy my baby all the clothes I felt she could use.  I mean when I returned to him, I was flat broke, and was now reminded that I lived in his house, and drove his car, and I should do as he says.  To make matters worse, his mother moved in.  OMG!!!!! That *****was a freakin nightmare.  She was horrid.  Not only was she intrusive, condesending, and a liar.  She would complain if I sat to close to my husband, she would complain about how I cooked.  And god forbid if he started acting like a jackass as he always did.  She was join in and then it was my fault everything was going wrong in our marriage.  Did I mention he decided to fly down to a party the week I was due?  Oh yes he felt it was important he fly to party to hang with his boys.  UGH!!!! he made me sick.  He would instigate fights infront of his mom and then say " you see what she did"  You see how she talks to me, and then try to pull the macho card in front of her.  And do you know this old witch told me I am never to talk back to my husband.  It is his house, and he runs it, and I get no say so.  I was floored.  By the time our child was born it was worse, because now, when he threaten to hit, when I responded I swear I'll call the cops which scared the first time while I was pregnant, now he'd follow through.  One day he beat the living daylights out of me.  Once again, I ran away, rented a car, borrowed money from my folks and ran, and my father forced me to return claiming it was my fault.  God help me but thinking back on all these memories makes me sick.  OMG, and the worst part is he has never apologized, nor admitted to what he has done.  I know I've gone on and on, but just recalling all the details is sooooo painful, my keyboard is soaked.  I have been abandoned by my family, he has isolated me from everyone.  Just like another writer wrote everytime, he leaves the house...well let me not say it, but my life has been torture.  He has never owned up to what he has done to me.  He will never admit it, and he constantly berates me, tells me I'm a horrible mother if I take my child out, he accuses me of exposing her to h1n1. I wish I had a job to get my finances in order so I could just finally leave him.  I hate him I hate him!!!!! God forgive me but I hate him. 

Oh one more thing he has a sister that he treats like a surrogate mother.  He dare not bad mouth her nor raise a voice to her the way he speaks to me and his mother.  Yes, if you think he talks to me like he's crazy the way he yells at his own mother is quite frightening.  Anyway, his older sister runs everyone, and when I realized this and decided I wasn't trying to be run, I got on her **** list and she has done everything in her power to make my life a living hell.  

I hate them all!!!!!!!

marrid2apig marrid2apig
11 Responses Jan 9, 2010

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I know where your coming from my husband is crazy he believes in DD and I can't even say what's on my mind or how I feel if he does not like it I get in crap and we have a 1 1/2 yr old

They are crazy and have no respect. For us and they will never change

I hate my husband too, he is 75 and I am 55,he acts like a 4 year old way too often,but now he has cancer and I am trying to stay with him,but I hate him,God forgive me.incinsiderate son of a mother f^%$%#!!

Educated men are not really educated.I regret my marriage because I never saw what I can see in my husband today. Selfish, self-centred, money minded people-he got his real education from the uneducated background who in the name of culture can kill a person to fulfil their selfish needs.MILs just forget that they are females too. They will do everything to get those Penis allowances on the name of their son and make sure he gets them too.

So sorry to hear about your situation. Have you talked to a domestic violence counselor? Usually the judicial system favors women in custody cases, and if you can establish domestic violence you may be able to get a restraining order on him.<br />
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Also, have you considered that as a doctor, he has a lot to lose from the standpoint of his professional reputation if you were to press charges?<br />
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Please consider talking to professional counselors. You need help from an experienced professional. I wish I knew how else to help you. Good luck.

I am speechless! And I feel horrible for you, to even be let down by one's parents has to be so terribly painful. Are you in a large city? Is there a women's shelter where you live?<br />
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Can you take photos of your bruises to show the police?

I am so glad I found this website. It has given me the chance to know I'm not alone. I can't be the only woman that has regrets about marriage, but I wonder are there other women that regrt having had children with their abuser? I am stuck with this son of a ***** being a part of my life until my children are 18. OMG what have I done? I wanted to be maried and was blessed with kids, and now somehow regret it all. I love my kids, but even they have started to become a liablity in my happiness, now he uses the kids as a means to attack me. I know children truly don't know any better, but my child is taking full advantage of the fact that dad lets them do the opposite of what I tell them not to do. Its bloody annoying. When I was a kid I used to beg my mom to leave my dad because he was suck a jerk to her. She called me her liability because my father knew I resented him and the way he treated her, and often would treat her worse. I couldn't win. My mom was so desperate for my father to lov her that she would often cast me aside to win his affections. I love my kids but there are days I think the only way to get away from him and get him out of my life for good is to relinquinsh my parental rights to him. But I love my kids very much, but I wonder if I hate him more? Its like the American judicial system sets it up for women to fail. Not all cases are the same, and you can't force a woman to stay in the same city or county as her abuser because the father has rights too. What if the emotional and mental damage does far greater harm in the long run? Don't judges ever think of that? Ugh!!! this is such Bulls**!!!!!

thats the problem men never change . their basic nature is same especially indian men. they feel they have the right to accuse their women n other female of the house encourage this not knowing that they themselves are women n how would they feel if this happens to them.<br />
the basic problem is the mothers being a wife herself still encourage their son to misbehave.<br />
i pray that u get a better life ahead. oh god y did u made men like this!!

When does it get better or easier? Each day I spend here is one filled with painful disgustin thoughts of how miserable I am. Its weird as much as I resent him, I wonder why we don't have sex? I shouldn't care considering I hate him so much, but the fact that he may be cheating makes me feel even worse. When he speaks to his family memebers in front of me he speaks in their traditional language so I won't understand what he's saying, but when he thinks I'm out of ear shot he speaks to them in English. What a bastard. I'm trying to look for a job but with a baby on the way, not many people want to hire me knowing I'll be going on leave in a few months. My days are filled with job hunting, diaper changes, cooking, cleaning, laundry, more diaper changes, crying, self loathing, not enough prayer, more self loathing, pity parties, more cooking, and finally sleep when he goes off to work at the Hospital. Can you believe he's a doctor? Yes ladies, educated men treat their wives like **** too. The worst offender in this whole scheme of things is his menacing, kaniving, 2 faced sister. I hope that ***** dies a miserable painful death. She has made my life a living hell. I turned to this monster for help when I could get it from my folks and this monster turned on me and encouraged my husband to treat me worse. I should have never given him all the chances I did. I live with soooooo much regret. When does the hurting ever end. Thank God I have this site to vent my frustrations.

OMG! I wish I could help you some how! I know somedays you must wonder how you could possibly have any more tears to cry, but they still come. Having parents that don't or won't understand has got to be the toughest thing to deal with. I know you must be young and have so much to give. You must get your children out of the situation. You will regret not doing so the rest of your life. Abuse dosen't ever lessen in time, it gets worse, as I know you already know. Do you belong to a church? If you can get support there or already have it, use that support to make a move. Try to save up some money anyway you can and keep a bag packed with a change of clothes for you and kids ready to go if needed. Call the police if you have to. Be brave!! I pray for you.

Ugh. I feel for you. My mother in law is from INDIA. She and her husband came to stay with us for six months. Man, I hated it. I was on prozac by the end of it. And, swore I'd take the kids and leave if he ever put me threw that again. Actually, I know that's when our relationship ended. She stole my wedding sari took it back to India with her. Never told anyone and when asked LIED to everyone about it. I insisted it was gone and showed my hsuband where I stored it. Finally, she admitted she took it. My hsuband's sisters made her return it. It's in the garage now. I hope the dog eats it.<br />
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And, my diamond earrings set in platnium are missing. I know Indians don't usually get into diamonds or platnium but she new how much they meant to me. And, was and is jealous of what my hsuband buys me. GONE. Just plain gone when she left with my sari. My husband won't ask her about that of course. How could he accuse her of taking somethng else? She's stolen from me before...all kinds of things. Things she just likes and feels intitled to. The first visit she took pictures of her son out of my picture fr<x>ames. Yes, she has some nerve.<br />
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My only recourse is to spend money. It's the only way I can get back at my husband. He fights and is just as pissed as I am. He cuts me off and then cuts me back in. Sometimes I steal the credit card if he's been especially rotten like leaving me alone for weeks when he goes to denver for a skiing vacation week long! AND, you know how the older generation is...its always worse. His dad won't even speak to me the white girl. That's how he calls me, its eithe rthe white girl or the fat white girl. LOL.