I Have Had It!

For the last seven years of my life I have been complety devouted to my husband.  I have been faithful, supportive, and honest to him the whole time.  I have always put his needs before mine and finally, I have had it.  Yesterday was and is the last time he will every embarass me again. 

Yesdterday I took the opportunity to relax at the beach with my sister in-law and our children, when I got home my husband had phone to see how my day was going.  While I was on the phone with him my best friend's boyfirend unexpectanty showed up looking for his girlfriend.  I explained to my husband that I had to let him go so that I could try to track down my friend.  After hanging up the phone with him, I called my girlfriend to make sure she wasn't on her way over to meet her boyfriend.  When she answered the phone I let her speak with her boyfriend; before he left the house he put me back on the phone with my friend so that we could talk.  While I was on the phone with her my husband was frantically calling on our second line, so I hung up with my frind to speak with him.  As soon as I get on the phone  he starts yelling about how I am chating on him with my best friend's boyfriend.  At this point I am so upset that after seven years I find out that my husband thinks that poorly of me.  Instead of buying into his crap I tell hime that I am not getting into this conversation with him and that I am going to hand up the phone.

I think the worst thing about this whole sistuation is that this isn't the first time he has emabrassed me like this.  The last time he did something like this he drove by me with his head haning out his best friend's car screaming nasty things to me.  The time before that, he accused me of sleeping with his sister's boyfriend (he is seriously 6 years younger than my dad), and the time before that he accused me of cheating on him with his best friend.

Even before yesterday's episoce I hated my husband.  I hate the fact that it is ALWAYS about him, what he wants to do, what he wants to buy, what he needs to do ect.  We have a 15 month old daughter and when he acts like this I get angry because it shouldn't be about his or my wants and needs anymore, it's about HER needs, and HER wants.

I am angry because I feel trapted, trapted in non-trusting and non-loving marriage and I want to get out, but everyone I talk to keeps telling me to stick it out, wait for it to get better, wait for him to grow up.  It's BS

reannastar reannastar
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 20, 2010

we are living the same life. i am sorry for you... and for me... don't wait for the 2nd or 3rd child to come. it never gets better and you find yourself more and more trapped... and sadder and sadder...