O For The Day... To Be Without!!!

My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs and every year is getting worse and worse. We have been married for almost 2 years. My blind fold is coming off everyday and Im truly starting to see the real husband that I unfortually have.

First he is very selfish. He has sooo many toys.. For example... A boat that over 3 years he has put over 20,000 into, and hugh shop that can make 3 of our house. well we live in a doublewide that is owned by my step-mother in law. And he puts all his time and devotion into "his" shop. He has a 4wheeler that over the past 2 yrs he has consumed like 5,000 into. So yea he likes to spend "his" money.

Well Im a stay at home mom with our 13 mth old baby. I do have 2 other children ages 13 yrs and 11 yrs old. They live with their dad, which is only 15 minutes away. And he also has a 5 yr old son that he gets every other weekend. I do smoke ciagrettes and thats really the only thing that I do ask him to buy for me. Other then that it will be stuff for the house and our son. But in his eyes I spend money all the time. And we do live pay check to pay check.

With this home that we are living in, I have painted the whole house by myself, took down all the cabinets and refinished them, help him put down the carpet (when we first moved in) and help him put down the baby's hardwood florring, I have painted both of the porches, redid the boys bedroom because my husband was complaining about it and I was 6 mths preggers too, put shelves into the cabinets, and still am doing misc things around here too. ughhh

well for starters.. over the past 2 yrs I have been asking and begging him to fix one of the bedrooms in this home. It is leaking really badly and now its sooo bad that the wall is literally black and some of the hardwood floor is too. Its nasty.  The sewer outside is awful. Its been like this for almost 1 yr and its getting worse too. Its like he does not care what so ever. Im nagging in his mind!

In the beginning he has cheated on me, would leave on a friday and i wouldnt see him until sunday or monday. Sometimes I would feel he would just want to argue so he could go bar hoping.  He can not go anywhere without looking and staring at women. Hes like addicted to women. I have found on his phone recently textes of naked beautiful girls, and when I see those I feel that im just not good enough. I have no money at all and he doesnt give me any. He calls me all day long, and asks me the same question over and over.. "what r you doing now?" because he is sooo scared that im going to leave and go somewhere. He comes home from work, saids hey to us and heads to his shop to drank beer and smoke pot and we will not see him until the next morning. And its always been like this. I get sex when he feels like it. He has to drank beer just so he can sleep at night. There has been sooo many times that he has gotten mad at me and ran off to the bar til 5am. On his phone statements I would find taxi numbers and one time I found a escort number too.

Well all yr last year we agreed that when we filed our taxes that I would get me a car with it. Because we would be claiming our son for the first time. And I have been without a car for over a yr now. O man that sucked too! well he came home one day and told me that he had filed the taxes and the check should be coming in the mail in 3 weeks. That we were getting 1700.00 back. I was sorda shocked, but i believed him.. like always.. Stupid Me! Well a week goes by and i start walking to the mailbox hoping for the check because i was excited about me finally getting a car.. Well one day my mom watched our son so I could go to the doctor. When we got back, she brought up the taxes. That she couldnt believe that was all we were getting. Well when she lefted  I called the tax place.. Well come to find out.. he lied to me Again. We were getting 4596.00 back and he had gotten it 2 weeks ago rapid refund into his bank, and whats sooo sad about it is during those 2 weeks when he had all that money in the bank there were days i needed cigarettes and he would tell me that his bank was dry and that i wanted a drink and i would scrap my pennies and knowing that he had the money. And whats the worst is he saw me many times walk to that mailbox looking for a check.

And what does he tell me when I confront him... That I would spend it all, "who's name is my paycheck in?".. "do you want me to write you a check and put it in the mailbox for you to get out?". .. "That yea you may take care of our son, but thats your job, Im the one who provides for him". Well at the end he had over 5300.00 in a matter of 4 weeks. And the only thing he had to show for it was a wooded swingset he had gotten for 900.00. And he did get me a 1400.00 car. That i do love because its mine. And its the only thing that i have around here that I can call Mine! well also at the end... He overdrafted with his bank 1000.00 that he had to pay back. One thing I love is karma. She is great.

So yea.. Im wanting to leave him, but not until i get my own home for me and my son! But in the meantime I would love some advice, thoughts anything. because I have no friends and no one to talk to about this. thanks soo much. Sorry sooo long!

Dreamgurl1012 Dreamgurl1012
31-35, F
1 Response Feb 22, 2010

You sound very strong and very capable and I think you'll be OK! Keep your head up. I know it's hard with a baby, but if you can get even a part-time job or temp work it'll make you feel better and enable you to leave that much sooner. Just make sure your pay is automatically deposited into your own separate bank account. Good luck!