I Hate Him So Much

I have never hated anyone so much in all my life, he is a lazy selfish jerk.  he never helps me with anything and wont even pick up after himself.  I am six months pregnant and am having really bad hip problems from it, I can barely walk.  He is still a lazy, selfish jerk and barely helps me, he doesnt even try to make things easier for me during a very horrible pregnancy.  He never talks about anything and everytime I have some kind of goal or dream I want to pursue he tells me all the reasons why its a stupid idea.  We have 2 kids, which are mine, his step kids, and he doesnt care about how I feel we should raise them.  He is always spanking my 2 year old, when repeatedly told not to.  I left a career that I was in for 8 years, to follow him around in the stupid army, so I have nothing of my own and no where to go.  He acts like he is doing me a favor by letting me stay home, even though I never wanted it in the first place and he treats me like a personal maid throwing trash and dirty clothes where ever they lie for me to pick them up for him.  Every time I try to talk to him about anything, he is silent and claims he doesnt want to make things worse even though I keep saying that him saying that and not responding to me when I talk is what makes me hate him so much.  The rare times he does respond, he says "I dont agree" in a condescending tone, then goes on about how hes right and there is no way I know anything about anything, nomatter what the subject.  He is mean to my 7 year old boy, even though he claims hes not, my kid is acting out and having self esteem issues because of my husband.  He displays anger issues in road rage and abusing my puppy, and ofcourse the over spanking of a 2 year old.  I talked to him about marriage counseling and he was fine with it, until he found out the hours would interfer with his precious army.  Hes been in for 3 years and I was in for almost 10, half way to retirement ,why was I the one to quite.  I am sick of him acting like he is superior to everyone and putting the army before his family.  He is also secretly smoking and lying about it even though I found tones of proof; wrappers, reciepts, and not to mention I can smell it on his hands.  I have never been so unhappy and I hate him so much, being around him is like finger nails on a chalk board, there is noting I like about him.  He smells, he thinks hes funny, every things a dang joke, the way he treats my kids, hes selfish, lazy, and the list goes on and on.  Oh Yea, his mom is a total B to me and he refuses to say anything to her, I think he has attachment issues with her or something.  I have no where to go, left my job and lost the house I bought at 23 because of him, he turned my life upside down and crushed all my dreams, now I am just waiting for one of us to die.  what should I do?  PS...we have only been married 2 years, I already hate him this much

Jabren Jabren
26-30, F
Feb 27, 2010