Stupidity Just Can't Be Fixed!

I've been married for 13 years.  God knows why.  I figured out pretty fast that "quirky" was really just a cover for stupid and obnoxious.  I think maybe I stay married because its easier than going through the crap of getting a divorce.  I have two special needs kids--they have special needs because stupid carries a genetic condition that he's passed on to them.  I would have known about it if he would have ponied up a sample for lab work done during the 1st pregnancy.  I love my kids, but they shouldn't have to suffer for something we could have prevented had we known ahead of time (God, that sounds awful).  Stupid won't spend time with the kids, and they have need for LOTS of time.  All stupid wants to do is yell at the kids or ignore them--never anything in between.  Sometimes, like tonight, it just gets to the point where I tell him to get out.  Then he pulls this "what did I do" face.  Stupid man.

Stupid refuses to pay any attention to the doctors, therapists, specialists.  He refuses to participate in any school related activities.  Stupid refuses to chaperone any field trips.  Stupid even refuses to do something simple like going to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions.

Stupid lost his job over a year ago and refuses to take anything less than what he was doing.  We're down to one income--mine; and that's upporting two special needs kids, my 72 yo mom, and a freaking special needs dog.  I'm barely keeping our heads above water.  Unemployment ends in June and he won't even consider taking a job at McDonalds (which would pay more than the unemployment does).

If I toss him out, I'm stuck with a freaking house I never wanted out in booneyville.  My credit is crap now, but if I have to dump the house I might as well flush the toilet on the ol' credit rating.  If I toss stupid out, I'll also feel a lot of guilt.  He doesn't have any family to go to and he's pretty much ostracized his friends.  He'd be homeless.  Then there's also the issue that there's no way I could ever count on getting child support out of him as things stand--can't get blood out of a turnip.  Heck, some stupid judge might even make me pay spousal support to HIM. 

It just makes me want to scream and throw things!  He wrote out his "last will and testament" fool thinks he had a stroke--Stupid has issues with anxiety attacks.  Some days I wish the Good Lord would see fit to call him home.  That's awful, yeah.  But, God...

wildfern34 wildfern34
36-40, F
14 Responses Mar 9, 2010

I feel for your situation. It's hard when there are kids involved. I am not sure how you were able to last this long and supported the family. I wish that there are some justice to set you free, and reward you for all the things you have been suffering with. The immediate thought would be yeah, why don't you leave him, but as you've presented, it's a lot more complicated than just walking out the door. I wish you luck. My friend was in a situation with kids but with a different twist and she couldn't leave for many reasons that are too complicated to call quit.

I sometimes wonder if every woman is married to stupid and just doesn't publicly admit it unless it's on an anonymous board. My stupid has ruined marriage for me. How can anyone love feeling trapped like this? I will never marry again if I ever get the courage to divorce. Not only does stupid have no job, and hasn't for over 10 years with the exception of some "odd jobs" here and there, he's also extremely lazy, and has no friends so stupid constantly relies on me for emotional support. Stupid complains that we're broke, yet cries to me when he wants to buy something or because his teeth are falling out of his mouth, or because his truck broke down again. I had to sell my body to supplement my income because we were falling short every month until I could no longer continue, but I am high considering going back because we need the money. He barely spends time with the kids. He drinks all the time so is always too hungover to go anywhere, he smokes in front of everyone even when we're sick, and he farts and smells bad all the time he is nasty. He's also a crappy lover. Stupid is also a huge, ignorant bigot and has gotten worse since his obsession with alternative politics. He will sit in his chatrooms and watch Youtube all day if you let him. I realized that I hate him. I really hate him and life would be so much easier if he would just die. Then again, I'm stupid too. I'm stupid for moving out of state and having another child with him. Thank goodness I am fixing my mistake now and talked him I to loving us back home so I feel less trapped again. Maybe I will leave him when we get there? Who knows???

I feel the same...cant stand this dreadful person@!!!

I would just suck it up and leave if I were you. Fix your credit later life is to short to live with someone like that. I would stop taking putty on him if I were you and show him that your not playing around and just leave. Maybe then he will think twice about getting a job and want to spend time with his kids cause he might miss them. Why take mercy on him? What is he doing for you? People only do to you what you allow them to do and. Y taking pity on him you are allowing him to do what he wants to you and the kids.put you foot down and throw his *** out or leave.

If you have special needs kids that takes enough from you YOU DON'T NEED STUPID TO ADD TO MORE ISSUES. GET RID OF STUPID he is being useless, immature, and an ahole....You can probalby get assistance for yourself with special needs kids look into your local centers etc. <br />
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Oh my gosh ehat is the end result of this situation you posted 2 years ago?

Stupid needs to grow up and get a clue!

Boy I thought I was the only who was married to Stupid. Looks like a lot of us ladies are!!

Going through the exact thing, minus the condition of the children. I feel as if sometimes I pretend to love him out of pity and then when I remember what he puts me through pity myself.

I'm married for 25yrs with 2good sons who are my prize at least for being with my stupid that long.<br />
My family helped us a lot since we were still living at my poor country.<br />
My family brought me,my sons and stupid here.I though he will prove himself when he has a chance but no,he proved more and more his stupidity!!stupid loves gambilng on football games ans stupid is not participing any family activities.He never plans for future,never thinks of saving.When having a little money,stupid loves to come back to our home town,using excuse of visiting his parents.Actually,stupid just enjoys showing off his expensive stuff and giving them away to be flattered,while he never buys any like that for me or my sons.Stupid never wants to tell me about his money/expenses,trying to hide money to use for stupid things.Stupid is really stupid ,thinking a few items can make him a rich ,sucessful guy in front of people.Stupid never thinks that it make a bigger and bigger distance between us and him,between us and his family.He is stupid enough not to think about that..He never cares about my son who is college student now,almost graduates.Stupid is so proud of his son,saying that"we will have a big graduation party for him".THat's all he can do as a father after 4yrs doing nothing for his son,stupid.THat idea upset me and my son a lot.BEfore I was super nice with my inlaw,I used to love them sincerely but now stupid makes me cold and never be the same as before.I hate stupid but I can not leave him yet.Maybe I still loves him ,maybe I 'm not angry enough because he tries not to confront me anymore,maybe ...but I dont feel happy.Everyday,I think about him with hatress,When I talks with my firends,I said alll bad things about him,when I looks at him,I thinks bad thngs too"I hate you,I hate you so much"because he gives me a miserable life.I hate being poor then he lets me deal with pauvrety since he married me until now still.<br />
Stupid,I hate you,stupid!!!I saw this page and I feel better knowing that my stupid is not the only one.<br />
My friends,poor us,we all have stupids to deal with!!!God Bless us!!!

It is really sad that I'm sitting here on New Year's eve writing this. I stumbled on your post and I can't believe the similarities. Your stupid sounds just like my stupid. But at least your stupid has worked for most of yor marriage. My stupid only worked about 4 months in our 12 year marriage. We also have kids with special needs (I've noticed his nephews have similar issues, so it comes from his side of the family too). Stupid wants me to quit all my kids' much needed therapies because he thinks they are a waste of money. Instead of working so he could provide for the kids, he just wants to ***** away everything the kids need. I made a very good living up until a year ago. But now, my business has nose dived, and we are poor, poor, poor. But he still does not want to go to work. His family is crazy. They come here every year (they live in another country) and then go on vacation with stupid with my money! Of course I can't ever go because I am always WORKING! I think I can safely say my stupid is stupider than your stupid.

Thankfully I don't have to deal with children like what you poor ladies go through....I just have a jackass to deal with, he can be moronic and feels pissy for he is only collecting SS right now YET DOESN'T REALLY LOOK FOR WORK I FILL THE APPTS OUT..OH WELL ITS NICE TO SHARE AND VENT HERE GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU AND TRY TO STAY AT YOUR BEST...MERRY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!!!<br />
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My stupid is the same why with are 3 sons and 2 of are sons are special needs kids. Sorry I can not help you : (

I understand. My stupid sounds sort of like your stupid, jobless, don't want to work until something better comes along and barely pays attention to the kids. My Yahweh bless us.