What The F$r()#*$e(#_#()_# #($*_#(*$_@#*$_)(#$$@

I've ready many of your posts and can't believe how my situation is so similar to many of yours.  Well, not to keep yo waiting, here's my story.

I can't honestly say we are married but we've been together for 13 years.   The first 8 were out of fear (to be honest) and then I Ieft for 2 years.  Then I thought he had his stuff together and we're back together.  Will someone just shoot me?   I learned all I needed with the first 8 - I didn't need a constant reminder of his bullsh*% these last 3 years.  He reminds me of a lost dog chasing is tale, " I cant get it , I can get it, I can get it".  He's so complacent with everything (if it's not broke don't fix it);  doesn't want to do anything else but wear a uniform and not get asked questions.   He has no idea what the purpose is of having a banking account.  Can he tell time?  I wouldn't know for the 100 times he asks me what time its.  Has no clue that holidays are for celebrating - not sitting at home scratching all day.  He's not computer literate, he's not motivated, he' somewhat educated; he's ignorant; he's intolerable; he's an ***; he thinks we live in the 1930's for goodness sake!!  He's a caveman, with hair and all.  I can't stand him.  He's disgusting and I hate myself for every getting involved with him.  And after all of that, he expects someone to "love" him.  (BARF!!)   Please, for my sanity, fall off a cliff!!

No, really this is it - dreams of poisoning him fill every sleeping moment, thoughts of how I can get away with something and not have my kids visit me in some penitentiary.  The slight idea of him getting into a car crash or tripping and falling into nothingness would be great!!  I'd think I would party at the funeral!!  You are all invited.

Boy did that feel good!

The only difference between my story and yours is that I'm not married to this idiot.  And our days are truly numbered.  I've given this man my 20's and I will not give my all of my 30's.  I don't have to split property with him or organize the bank accounts, not even the children.  "We don't have to discuss who will stay on who's insurance or who will get the coffeemaker.  Everything is in my name and a sista is about to 'bounce!!!  Had I married him it would have given me the right to kill him so I couldn't get enough nerve to marry him.  I want to see my children grow up and have families and I want to have a better chance at life than right now - so marrying him was a no, no.  

If I can share any advice - if you can't stand him, then tell him and leave.  It was very hard for me in the beginning - I was truly scared that he would kill me or do something else but I got tired of it and stood up for myself.  I guess he knew I wasn't playing when I blacked his eye and gave him a concussion.  He's better now but still an ***.  I deserve so much better and so do you.  You deserve to be loved by a man that will surpass your dreams, give you encouragement,  walk with during your time of stress, will hold you when you are down, someone who will make you laugh and think you are the world to him, someone who will respect you and honor your love for him and who will be your best friend.  Not some jerk that crawled out of a man-hole somewhere.   I wish all the bloggers the best and am hopeful that you will all find your  mister right!.

iamoutofhere iamoutofhere
36-40, F
1 Response Mar 15, 2010

LOL....thanks so much I needed that ...my story is similiar except we are married, but all the lazy disgusting habits are there and holidays...I was told last easter by him "I 'm not participating in the holidays, just tell everyone I am working" WOW, so off I went with my 2 yr old and my 7 month old to do "holiday" on my own. I honestly don't think anyone even wonders where he is anymore (laying on couch or hanging out with friends spending our money and callin it work) Well I just need to secure childcare and get through the first steps...thanks again ur story made me feel un-alone.