Beyond Hate

How about total disrespect and loathing for this person who has caused me nothing but physical and emotional pain for 15 years.  I stayed with him because we have a son and because I didn't want to fail at another marriage (married once before).

I put up with someone who choked me, pushed me, threw things at me, called me absolutely unspeakable names, lies habitually to me, steals from me and our son, degrades me in any way he possibly can, leaves clues for me to know he has been with other women,  gambles in excess, drinks alcohol in excess, does drugs in excess, ruined our sons teeth by putting mountain dew in his baby bottle, treats me like a piece of crap in front of his family, breaks my stuff or throws it away when he gets angry at me which is very frequently, starts projects around the house and leaves them unfinished so I have to pay someone to come in and finish them or make them right, moved himself to the basement many many years ago.  Then for the coup degras: he said "You do nothing for me, and haven't for about ten years now.  So you are worthless to me."

Way beyond hate, for this scum of the Earth.  He always talks about dying, and I think, only if I'm lucky. 

I am happy to report that I came to my senses, and am divorcing this subhuman.  Also, very happy to report, that I have met a kind and gentle soul who makes me feel like a princess.  He is my prayers answered.

estellemabelle estellemabelle
51-55, F
7 Responses Mar 17, 2010

congrats...still looking for that strength

Good for you! I'm married to a gambling loser slash doctor of psychology right now...but I'm trying to get up enough courage to leave him after he has lost every cent we have! Reading your story gives me hope...I'm so frightened to leave my home and ALL my hard work- thank you for your positive story!

Thank God that you left an abusive marriage, you deserve better and I know God has a plan for you. My mother was in two abuse marriages, she was married for a long time in both marriages until she left. She has now been happily married for the last ten years to a man that loves and respects her. Know this, there are men in this world who cherish their wives. Good luck to you :)

Hey estellemabelle well done! A friend of mine went thorugh the same thing as you but now she's got her life back. She's a single mom of 3 but couldn't be happier.

congrats =D

good for you,, husband is very similiar, we have 2 small children and I am having a hard time leaving although i know i should... i hate for them to not a have a dad to see, but also hate for them to see any disrespect towards me which is starting to appear in front of them now. just need the courage to escape this rollarcoaster hell ( he is very nice inbetween nasty episodes) I too have been choked ( even while holding my son), hit pushed. crazy that I am sittng here

Who needs a father like that.........they will only learn how to be like him! better you leave for all sake...

Good for you!