How about total disrespect and loathing for this person who has caused me nothing but physical and emotional pain for 15 years. I stayed with him because we have a son and because I didn't want to fail at another marriage (married once before).
I put up with someone who choked me, pushed me, threw things at me, called me absolutely unspeakable names, lies habitually to me, steals from me and our son, degrades me in any way he possibly can, leaves clues for me to know he has been with other women, gambles in excess, drinks alcohol in excess, does drugs in excess, ruined our sons teeth by putting mountain dew in his baby bottle, treats me like a piece of crap in front of his family, breaks my stuff or throws it away when he gets angry at me which is very frequently, starts projects around the house and leaves them unfinished so I have to pay someone to come in and finish them or make them right, moved himself to the basement many many years ago. Then for the coup degras: he said "You do nothing for me, and haven't for about ten years now. So you are worthless to me."
Way beyond hate, for this scum of the Earth. He always talks about dying, and I think, only if I'm lucky.
I am happy to report that I came to my senses, and am divorcing this subhuman. Also, very happy to report, that I have met a kind and gentle soul who makes me feel like a princess. He is my prayers answered.