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Trashley

Hello...I'm CatherineJoan and I hate my husband's ex-wife! Boy does that feel good to just let out :) For the past 5 years, my husband's ex-wife has done everything in her power to make my marriage miserable. Like most scorned women, TrAshley is still bitter about her split with my husband although she is now remarried with 2 new children. Because of her, my relationship with my in-laws has been severed and my daughter is treated like she doesn't exist by her paternal grandmother & relatives. Again, like most people in my same predicament, this all started after my husband rejected her proposal to reconcile their marriage even though SHE was the one who petitioned for their divorce. She apparently thought that the grass would be greener on the other side, and that my husband would eventually come back graveling at her feet for a second chance, which never happened. After her disillusionment wore off, she couldn't accept or take accountability for her actions and how she had altered her daughter's life over a stupid bluff. According to her, she "Wanted to teach him a lesson", which backfired because she was the one who ended up getting schooled. To say that this woman is bipolar would be an understatement. In the beginning of my marriage, she desperately tried to ruin my husband's military career and reputation by contacting his superiors about petty crap. Then she'd call my husband at work, begging him to leave me & return back to her. She even offered to pay his child support, when she learned that I was pregnant. When he'd tell her no and to move on with her life, she'd flip the switch and threaten him with more child support. When she found out that my husband got promoted recently, she again contacted his superiors thinking that they would force him to pay her more. What she didn't realize is that the military does not get involved with civilian affairs unless my husband isn't paying child support or providing medical benefits, which he does both. Since I'm also a child of divorce, I made the stupid mistake of trying to befriend and reason with this woman for the sake of my step-daughter. I tried to be a good stepmom by sending my step-daughter cards & gifts but nothing I did was ever good enough to satisfy her mother. She'd criticize EVERYTHING I sent..."It's too cheap-looking"...."It's not purposeful"..."She doesn't even like that character...". I finally realized that there was nothing I could possibly do to get in her good graces. I'd like to add that I myself have a child from a previous divorce but I have never succumb to the same distasteful actions of this woman. I don't interfere with my ex-husband's new marriage nor do I rape his pocket because he has a new family to support. I am content with the child support I currently receive and have never sought an increase although I could due to his past 2 promotions. I am actually quite civil with my daughter's father and our children have become friends in the past years. In contrast, my husband and his ex-wife are like mortal enemies. He totally despises her yet she insists on reappearing in our lives periodically. It's still hard for her to accept that her "First Everything" wants absolutely nothing to do with her. She told me herself that she desperately wishes that they could "be friends" but she doesn't realize that her actions run contradictory with her so-called benevolent intentions. Think about it, who in their right mind would want "to be friends" with someone who constantly tries to ruin your career, marriage, reputation & relationship with your family? She just doesn't get it. What is even more bizarre to me is how her current husband is blind to all of this. In her social-networking profiles, all she talks about is my husband that he's a "Tool" or "Douche bag". I truly believe that she thinks about him more than she does her own husband. And I know this because she has a tendency to act real nice to me over the phone and then talk a whole bunch of crap about me over the Internet. I've taken the "high road" for too long and I'm finally fed-up with her B.S. I still have so much to say but so little time and space on here to do it. I'm just very grateful to have found this website because now I know that I am not alone. Peace be to all of you new wives/girlfriends who share in this predicament- may peace & happiness also come to all the crazy ex-wives out there who desperately try to make our lives a living hell.
CatherineJoan CatherineJoan 31-35 2 Responses Sep 8, 2011

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At least your husband didn't lie to you. My husband lied to me for 19 years and kept his ongoing relationship with his ex from me. I just discovered one day that they've been corresponding (exchanging cards and e-mails) under my nose with his cards addressed to his work and e-mails to his office e-mail. He lied to me that there's no correspondence since they don't have any children. Giving him a life after he got divorced from this woman didn't matter. I feel so devastated. We have 2 children and I couldn't get over his betrayal. I trusted him blindly.

I am dealing with the same thing. I completely understand and it definitely hard to ignore as much as you try. My husband always says, I'm the one dealing with it. Not you. But he doesn't understand how much it does affect me.